Former Clemson running back C.J. Spiller decided he would only run the 40-yard dash and do the bench. And he ran the hell out of it.

Spiller was timed, unofficially, as fast as 4.27 and may have locked up a top-20 grade. The fourth-year senior had 31 carries of 10+ yards in 2009 and eight receptions for 20 yards or more, while also contributing a whopping five TDs on returns. Evaluators are concerned about Spiller’s durability at 6’0/196, but he never missed a game due to injury in college. –MSNBC

They say that speed kills, but it also sells. General managers everywhere certainly sprouted boners when they saw that 4.27. Spiller’s official time of 4.37 is actually an amalgam of hand- and electronic-timing, as determined by scouts. Spiller couldn’t quite catch Chris Johnson’s 4.24 time from two years ago, but that’s still faster than I could probably get off the couch.

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America’s favorite annual meat market is already underway. The NFL Combine, an invitation-only job fair for college players looking to play at the next level, is the biggest non-football football event of the NFL’s year. Here are some things you might not know about the Combine:

Some players just show up. With all of the colleges having pro days now, pro prospects often opt out of drills in Indy, preferring just to get weighed and measured, and then just go home. It’s a move that yields mixed results, and it’s often pulled by guys that had nice college careers but aren’t expected to do much in the pros. Yes, we’re looking at you, Tim Tebow.

The 40-yard dash is important. They actually measure this electronically in 10-yard increments. Because nothing measures a player’s ability to block, tackle and catch than watching him run in a straight line.

The bench press is not as gay as it sounds. Everyone bench presses 225 pounds as many times as they can. Unlike your sorry little friend at the gym, these guys don’t just bench the bar. Some guy did 51 reps in 1999. I would not want to mess with that gentleman.

The Wonderlic. NFL players take a standardized intelligence test. It’s timed, and the questions supposedly get harder as one goes along. The only perfect score in its history, a 50, came from a punter. Titans quarterback Vince Young allegedly bombed the test in 2006, scoring a 6. Here’s a sample Wonderlic to see where you would stack up. Or you could find VY and challenge him to a foot race. Your call.

You can watch it online this year. Does any of this sound like appointment viewing to you? Good. NFL.com is streaming portions of their little job interview online this year. But be discreet, or you’ll soon be out on a job interview of your own.

NFL Network’s Rich Eisen reprised his annual tradition of running the 40-yard dash, but the performance bears more of a resemblance to a 5K run. The best part of the video comes after Eisen turns in his time, when the image of Eisen’s run is overlapped with those of the prospects that attended the combine. I would summarize Eisen’s run as resembling a Colombian drug mule with diarrhea. I guess Deion has to keep his drugs somewhere…

[100% Injury Rate]

If you’d been paying attention to how the NFL Draft has been shaping up, you knew that most people had Ohio State’s Chris “Beanie” Wells (above) and Georgia’s Knowshon Moreno as 1 and 1-A on the big board. But that standing could be in jeopardy after both players posted disappointing 40 times in the combine over the weekend. From Y! Sports:

Wells posted a 40 in the 4.55-4.6 range, which was a solid but not stunning number for his size.

Moreno’s time was troubling. When the week started, a handful of coaches and personnel suggested Moreno as the guy who could help himself with a great workout. And while he fared well in the agility drills, his 40 was clocked in a lukewarm 4.55-4.65 range. Some personnel men were predicting something closer to 4.45.

NFL.com has the best 40 times here, and also some advice on how to actually run the 40, which is bullshit, because if I wanted to travel that far I’d take the bus. Have you ever tried reading in a dead sprint? I did. Once.

The NFL Combine starts today in Indy, and for those who think the combine is just some offseason wankfest for diehard football fans would do well to realize that four or five little tests at this thing can either atone for or nullify a player’s entire body of work on the field. But now with Under Armour as the presenting sponsor for this year’s combine, each player invited will be getting a batch of UA gear with a retail value of about $900. From Darren Rovell:

Here’s what they get:

1 Under Armour Combine Bag
3 UA Metal apparel pieces — short sleeve compression, sleeveless compression and short sleeve loose shirt. All are personalized with position and number on the front, with the last name on the back. (UA says the compression shirts have the lightest fabric weight of any shirt on the market at 3.5 ounces.)
1 Travel suit, personalized with number and position on jacket.
1 pair of customized combine shoes (weigh 8.5 ounces, designed for NFL combine with footing for lateral, linear and vertical drills).
1 pair of UA cleats, 1 pair of UA slides (sandals), 1 pair of UA running shoes, 1 pair of UA trainers, 1 Fleece Crew top and bottom, 1 pair of Metal Compression shorts, 1 pair of Heat Gear Leggings, 1 pair of Micro-shorts, 1 pair of Combine short [sic]

How could anyone expect these guys to be professional football players without any complimentary drugs or firearms? Sure, some guys are naturally punchy and shoot-y, but there’s a bunch of guys that still need to develop those skills. But surely everyone in the combine is an expert on degrading women. There are some things you just can’t teach, I guess.