WRAPPING IT UP, B

Written by Christmas Ape / 07.25.08

Lucky for Pujols, the Cardinals are a popular team among telepaths.

NL – The hard-charging Brewers kept the pressure on the first place Cubs by finishing a four-game sweep of St. Louis and winning their eighth straight. Ryan Braun, not be confused for fellow Wisconsinite Brian Brohm, went 4-for-4 with a two-run shot off Ryan Franklin in the 9th to give the Brewers a 4-3 win. Braun was 14-for-29 over Milwaukee's seven-game road trip. I guess that's good. It's no .500, but it's all right. Call me a quibbler… The Cubs, meanwhile,held onto their game lead in the NL Central lead by snapping their 10-game skid against the Marlins. Big Z picked up his 11th win andhad an RBI double to push Chicago to 38-12 at home this year…The Mets take the rubber match of the three-game series for the momentary lead in the East, though their first since April. Carlos Delgado snapped a 1-1 tie with a two-run double in the 8th. Jimmy Rollins was scratched from the lineup for being late to the park, but Eric Bruntlett had three hits in his place. Rollins did return to record the final out for Philly. That won't get you headline pointing privileges, buddy.

AL - Two of the three games played in the AL were between the Orioles and the Blue Jays. I'll keep it brief as I'm sure your eyes just glazed over. Toronto swept Bawlmer in the doubleheader by scores of 5-1 and 7-1. So, yeah, the Orioles are fully in the throes of their annual July collapse. Such a beautiful summer rite… In the other game, the Rays got their seventh road loss in a row, dropping the first in a four-game set against the Royals. Which leaves in a tie at the top of the East with Boston, who (oh God oh no) are preparing for a three-game series against the Yankees separated by only three games in the standings. Yessir, that's a ggguuuuhhhh.

MISCELLANY – 50-year-old Nancy Lieberman made her one-game comeback with the Detroit Shock last night and didn't get to slug anyone. Nor score any points. But the former U.S. Olympian did get an assist so the pointless stunt viewed by no one was well worth it. Something something yawnyawnyawn MLS All-Stars beat West Ham. Warriors give Monta Ellis $66 million over six years and Rod Smith calls it a boring workmanlike career

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THE RED SOX ARE ALL ALL-STARS

Written by Matt / 07.07.08

<i>Boba Fett\’s not starting?!?!  SNUB!</i>” title=”<i>Boba Fett\’s not starting?!?!  SNUB!</i>” class=”alignright size-full wp-image-41″ /><p>As part of Yankee Stadium's swan song, it will host this month's MLB All-Star Game, where the hated Red Sox will <a href=put four starters in the field and a total of seven players in the home clubhouse.  I'm so conflicted: the Yankee spite is delicious, but I hate to see it come at the hands of Red Sox Nation.

The AL's starting lineup, determined by fan voting, will include 1B Kevin Youkilis, 2B Dustin Pedroia, OF Manny Ramirez, and DH David Ortiz.  Seems pretty fair to me, but then I don't pay attention to stats or — what's the word I'm looking for here? — care, so maybe my opinion should be taken with a shaker of salt.

Over in the National League, Cubs fans proved that they can be almost as annoying and domineering during a good season for the team as Boston fans are, selecting three Cubbies to the starting nine: outfielders Alfonso Soriano and Kosuke Fukudome, and catcher Geovany Soto.  Geovany?  Sounds like the biggest wop catcher since Piazza.  And they both play baseball, too!

Full all-star rosters after the jump. 

AL STARTERS
POSPLAYERTEAMALL-STAR APPEARANCES
CJoe MauerMinnesota2
1BKevin YoukilisBoston1
2BDustin PedroiaBoston1
3BAlex RodriguezNew York12
SSDerek JeterNew York9
OFJosh HamiltonTexas1
OFManny RamirezBoston12
OFIchiro SuzukiSeattle8
DH# David OrtizBoston5
PITCHERS
POSPLAYERTEAMALL-STAR APPEARANCES
RHP@Justin DuchschererOakland2
RHPRoy HalladayToronto5
LHPScott KazmirTampa Bay2
LHPCliff LeeCleveland1
RHP@Joe NathanMinnesota3
RHPJonathan PapelbonBoston3
RHPMariano RiveraNew York9
RHPFrancisco RodriguezLos Angeles3
RHPErvin SantanaLos Angeles1
LHPJoe SaundersLos Angeles1
LHP@George SherrillBaltimore1
RHP@Joakim SoriaKansas City1
RESERVES
POSPLAYERTEAMALL-STAR APPEARANCES
C@Dioner NavarroTampa Bay1
CJason VaritekBoston3
1BJustin MorneauMinnesota2
2BIan KinslerTexas1
SSMichael YoungTexas5
3BJoe CredeChicago1
3B@Carlos GuillenDetroit3
OFJ.D. DrewBoston1
OFCarlos QuentinChicago1
OFGrady SizemoreCleveland3
DHMilton BradleyTexas1

# — won't play due to injury (Note: Bradley replacing Ortiz as starting DH)
@ — selected by manager
* — named as injury replacement 

STARTERS
POSPLAYERTEAMALL-STAR APPEARANCES
CGeovany SotoChicago1
1BLance BerkmanHouston5
2BChase UtleyPhiladelphia3
3BChipper JonesAtlanta6
SSHanley RamirezFlorida1
OFRyan BraunMilwaukee1
OFAlfonso SorianoChicago7
OFKosuke FukudomeChicago1
PITCHERS
POSPLAYERTEAMALL-STAR APPEARANCES
RHP@Aaron CookColorado1
RHPRyan DempsterChicago2
RHP@Dan HarenArizona2
RHPBrad LidgePhiladelphia2
RHPTim LincecumSan Francisco1
RHPBen SheetsMilwaukee4
RHPEdinson VolquezCincinnati1
LHP@Billy WagnerNew York6
RHPBrandon WebbArizona3
RHPBrian WilsonSan Francisco1
RHPKerry WoodChicago2
RHP@Carlos ZambranoCHC3
RESERVES
POSPLAYERTEAMALL-STAR APPEARANCES
CRussell MartinLos Angeles2
C@Brian McCannAtlanta3
1BAdrian GonzalezSan Diego1
1B@Albert PujolsSt. Louis7
2BDan UgglaFlorida1
3BAramis RamirezChicago2
SS@Cristian GuzmanWashington2
SSMiguel TejadaHouston5
OFMatt HollidayColorado3
OFRyan LudwickSt. Louis1
OFNate McLouthPittsburgh1
# — won't play due to injury
@ — selected by manager
* — named as injury replacement

SOURCE, SOURCE

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NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH TO BE WINNIN’

Written by Christmas Ape / 06.30.08

More prostate support! More prostate support!

Euro 2008 – In capturing the country's first Euro title in 44 years, Spain vanquished all their long-held curses: winning on June 22, then winning with the unlucky yellow jerseys. Yesterday, in a game that was billed to be open and fast-paced, it turned out to be a fairly stolid affair almost entirely dominated by the Spaniards. Fernando Torres got the game's only goal with a forceful drive through Philipp Lahm, then deftly flicking it over German keeper Jens Lehmann. The German's Michael Ballack, whose status was questionable coming in, had to leave just before half with a bloody cut on his head. His injury prevented him for bolstering an anemic German attack. He'll just have to keep getting used to finishing second. Lehmann, who was tormented by Torres throughout the match and was a bit fortunate to only have given up one goal, announced his retirement afterwards. I hear they like retired Germans in Argentina.

MLB – The Cubs and the White Sox have now traded homefield sweeps in the same month. The Sox completed theirs at The Cell last night with a 5-1 win in which all their runs coming via the long ball. The all-time series remains tied at 33-33… The Nats have become quite proficient at getting wins in the walk-off variety, if not wins in general. Yesterday, it was Ronnie Belliard hitting a two-run homer in the bottom of the 12th to give the Nationals their eighth final at-bat victory of their 18 home wins… The Angels hold the Dodgers to three hits and actually win this time!…The Rays took two of three from the Pirates and the Red Sox dropped another to the Astros as Tampa leapfrogged Boston into first in the AL East in advance of the three-game set between the teams beginning today.

Assorted sports I scarcely care about – 19-year-old InBee Parks wins U.S. Women's Open… Kurt Busch wins rain-shortened Lenox Industrial Tools 301

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YOUR FAME IS WELL DESERVED, SPANIARD

Written by Christmas Ape / 06.23.08

TAPAS GO HERE!

EURO 2008 -  Oh, the drama of nil-nil.The Spaniards foiled floptastic Italia in shootouts to reach the Euro semifinals for the first time since 1984, when they met Oceania in a heavily surveilled contest.The crestfallen Italians will return home to their mothers,to whom they'll pledge to move out of the house before they turn 35. 34 is she keep-a nag-a so much. Spanish keeper Iker Casillas rose to the occasion, stopping two penalty kicks and tipping out a last-minute scoring chance by Antonio Di Natale.

MLB – The Cubs completed a three-game sweep of the crosstown White Sox with a 7-1 win Sunday highlighted by a commanding outing by Ryan Dempster, who improved to 9-0 at Wrigley this year. Aramis Ramirez homered four times in the series, including two yesterday. No, these Cubbies won't be deterred by an injury to Carlos Zambrano. It only goes to prove THERE'S NO WAY THE CUBS WON'T WIN IT ALL THIS YEAR! NOT EVEN ME OR MY JINXING CAN STOP THEM!…In other sweepings, the Angels brought out the brooms against the Phillies, dealing Philadelphia its fifth loss in a row. Meanwhile, Francisco Rodriguez picked up his league leading 30th save of the season, putting him in good position to make a run at a single season record people don't really care about…Mark Teixiera has an okay day at the plate, homering three times (with at least one coming from the right and the left side)and driving in four runs in the Braves' 8-3 win over the Mariners…The Red Sox get a Kevin Youkilis walk-off homer in the 13th to avoid being swept by the Cardinals and handing a quarter-note of humility to riding-high Massholia. Oh, who'm I kidding. A Cards sweep would be noted with a mention about revenge for the Sawx wicked 2004World Series sweep of the same Redbirds. Just thinking about that makes…oh great, now my ears are bleeding.

College World Series – Fresno State advances to meet Georgia in the finals. You might be inclined to describe them as a Cinderella team until you remember even a pumpkin couldn't survive living in Fresno.

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EVERYONE LOVED THAT DRESS

Written by Matt / 06.13.08

Welp, that was quick.  The moratorium on Erin Pageviews lasted less than a day.  I was staunchly against continuing to make Miss Andrews a target of blog-stalking, but the The Ivy Lens submitted these photos to With Leather, and I kind had to post them because… well, because I'm 12, apparently.  Hee hee, look!  A hose!

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OMG IT’S ERIN ANDREWS!!! RIGHT THERE!!! 8-O

Written by Matt / 06.12.08

Awesomely named reader Matt sent along this photo of Erin Pageviews (taken by his "friend," or so he says) at the Cubs game last night, giving us the full-body shot of caution-tape yellow that the sports blogging world so badly needed today.  We now also have a better idea why the cut of this dress mixed with Chicago's wind is more of a concern than cancer surgery.

Side note: Listen people, I think Erin's good-looking, too, okay?  But until she starts slutting it up for the camera, this'll be the last you see of her here for a while.  I'm sorry, but I didn't create this site to focus on intelligent, capable women who are good at their jobs and just happen to be very attractive.  That sounds an awful lot like whatever the opposite of shallow is, and I'll have none of that here.  Let's keep it clean and respect her as a professional, okay?

(Psssst… call me, Erin!)

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