With Leather’s Watch This: Hey, Remember When We All Hated The Yankees?

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.16.12

So remember that whole revelation yesterday that everyone suddenly wants to hate the St. Louis Cardinals? Great job with that, Matt Holliday. Obviously, I knew that his flop into Marco Scutaro’s legs would immediately give the people I’ve been trying to talk some sense into everything they needed to justify unsubstantiated, pure hatred for the Cards, but part of me held out hope that someone might defend the big doofus. Nope.

Again, well done, Holliday. You better get that fly swatter you call a bat working tomorrow night or the 2-1 deficit will be on your shoulders. Meanwhile, tonight is all about the team that we don’t need a reason to hate. That’s right, the Detroit Tigers.

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Alex Rodriguez Is Still A Grade A Poon Hound

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.16.12

"Yeah, this cologne really works."

Alex Rodriguez made $29 million this season. He’ll make $28 million next season, $25 million in 2014, $21 million in 2015, $20 million in 2016 and another $20 million in 2017. This is important to note, because if you share those numbers with any New York Yankees fans right now, they might stab you, so maybe keep this info between us. Their rage, of course, stems from the fact that the Bronx Bombers are down 0-2 to the Detroit Tigers in the ALCS and the man with the largest contract in baseball history flat out sucks.

And if Yankees fans were upset with A-Rod before, I can’t even imagine how they feel now, as the New York Post has revealed that after he was benched in the 8th inning of Game 1 on Saturday night, A-Rod was hitting on women in the stands. Rodriguez spotted the girls, wrote a note on a ball and had the ball boy give it to them, all while his teammates were doing the heavy lifting for a 9th-inning comeback.

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The Best Alex Rodriguez Rod Stewart Parody Video You’ll Watch Today

Written by Brandon Stroud / 10.15.12

That headline isn’t a guarantee. I mean, this could spark an online Alex Rodriguez Rod Stewart parody video revolution, with A-Rod and Ronald Isley duetting ‘This Ol’ Third Base Of Mine’ or whatever, but it’s at least ONE of the best. (via NOC)

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Alex rodriguez rod stewartA Guide To The Biggest Troll On The Internet And The Reddit Vs. Gawker War |UPROXX|

Guy Fieri Had The Best Burn At Anthony Bourdain’s Roast |Warming Glow|

A documentary about Colombians having sex with donkeys. This exists. |Film Drunk|

Oh Hey, Kate Upton. What’s Up? |With Leather|

Aaron Paul Would Like To Play An Awesome Sidekick In ‘The Dark Tower’ |Gamma Squad|

Cash Money’s 11 Best Thug Love Songs |Smoking Section|

Hot Bean and Chimichurri Dip, South American Choripans: Football Foodie Sauced |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Derek Jeter’s Penthouse Sold For $15.5 Million

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.11.12

Relevant.

If you’ve been looking for a great deal on an apartment in New York City recently, well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but boy did you miss out on the bargain of the century. In what the New York Post is calling a “steal”, New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter just sold his Trump Tower penthouse for only $15.5 million. Sure, that may seem like a hefty price, but keep in mind he was selling it for $20 million, after he originally paid $12 million. Good God, this economy is destroying us all.

So who’s the lucky bargain hunter who saved $4.5 million on this guaranteed poon palace? Anheuser-Busch’s chief supply officer Claudio Ferro, that’s who. I know, it’s like one superstar to another, right?

Claudio Ferro paid $15.5 million this month for the captain’s four-bedroom bachelor pad, a palatial, suede-covered man cave, the sources said.

I’m sure suede’s not the only thing it’s covered in. *rimshot*

At $15.5 million, Ferro is getting a steal. “You would think they [the broker] would get a higher price based on Derek Jeter’s name alone,” said one mystified broker.

And you know he was mystified because he created a flash with his hands and vanished in a cloud of smoke. The strange thing here, though, is that Ferro is moving into this place with his wife and children, and that’s odd to me because, well, think of all the sex that happened in that place. You know how paranormal experts believe that if something so intense occurs in a house – like a horrific murder, or in this case 8 trillion orgasms – that it can haunt that home forever?

I’m just saying Claudio shouldn’t complain when his kids wake up to Scarlett Johansson screaming to the heavens. Anyway, let’s have a look at Mr. Ferro’s big purchase.

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With Leather’s Watch This: More Like Snorioles! Just Kidding, They’re Fun

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.10.12

Thanks to Major League Baseball scheduling today’s Game 3 of the NLDS between the St. Louis Cardinals and Washington Nationals at 1 PM, tonight’s sports action is pretty darn boring. How did the MAC get screwed out of a game tonight anyway? Couldn’t we schedule FAU against Middle Montana Community Tech State A&M? Just laziness.

MLB ALDS Game 3: Baltimore Orioles at New York Yankees – 7:30 PM ET on TBS

Like the Cards and Nats before them, the O’s and Yanks are all tied up at 1 game each in this best of 5 series of pure excitement. You know what’s been entertaining so far? Yankees fans crapping all over Derek Jeter. Stupid jerk hasn’t ever done anything for that team.

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With Leather’s Watch This: Arian Foster Will Score 40 Points Tonight, Right? RIGHT???

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.08.12

I don’t ask for much in this life, other than an ageless super model girlfriend who poops million dollar bills, but if Houston Texans RB Arian Foster could grab me about 160 yards and 4 touchdowns against the Jets’ horrible run defense tonight, that would be groovy like a disco movie.

Monday Night Football: Houston Texans at New York Jets – 8:30 PM ET on ESPN

Tonight marks the 666th edition of Monday Night Football, and of course it involves the New York Jets and Tim Tebow. I’m almost excited to hear how many horrible jokes Chris Berman makes about it in the hours leading up to kickoff. The over under is 12 bad jokes… wait, 12? Like the number of apostles? The end is here! I cast a biblical plague upon your houses!

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