An important thing I’ve learned about writing on the Internet is that 98 out of 100 people reading your work live in the U.S. Northeast. That seems like an exaggeration, but nope, it’s all New York, Pennsylvania, D.C., New England. Person 99 lives in Los Angeles and is usually too busy with “life stuff” to read your stuff, and person 100 is my Mom doing Farmville on Facebook. That’s it. When the Internet finally expands to the Midwest, it is going to be pretty cool (read: boring).
With that said, today’s Guide to Recognizing Your Mascots covers the New York-Penn League, a league so white and privileged that Williamsport, Pennsylvania, gets a team. Williamsport is totally the mid-Idaho of Pennsylvania. You’ve got Pittsburgh to your left and Philadelphia to your right (or vice versa, depending on which way you’re standing). Pick a direction and live there. The league is divided into the McNamara Division, the Pinckney Division and the Stedler Division, but I don’t know what any of those words mean so I just glossed over that.