Jump to the 3:54 mark. It’s not a squirt, it’s a pop. You’re a creep, Letterman.

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Tribute: The 50 Worst Fighters in UFC History — (Cage Potato)

Arrested Development For Netflix Is Not A Myth, Ron Howard Tweets Pic Of Writer’s Room (UPROXX)

This Can’t Be Good for The Avengers — (Film Drunk)

A Law Professor Breaks Down Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” (and the motherf—er gets it right) — (Real Talk NY)

ESPN The Body Issue 2012 — (With Leather)

Let’s Celebrate The ‘Internet Cat Video Film Festival’ With Cat Pictures (UPROXX)

20 Historical NBA teams That Deserve to Have a Book Written about Them — (Smoking Section)

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Good to know Usher and Justin Bieber had a baby already. Man, Phillie Phanatic would’ve slaughtered everyone on screen. (via NESN)

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Update your calendar: Tommy Davidson Live Q & A Tomorrow Morning 8:30/11:30 am |Film Drunk|

Behind The Eyewriter, A Life-Changing Eyetracking System Designed For Sufferers Of ALS & Paralysis |UPROXX|

Louis C.K. Went On ‘The Tonight Show’ And Made Fun Of Jay Leno’s Big Dumb Face |Warming Glow|

Michael Shannon And 10 Other TV Stars You Probably Didn’t Know Were In Bands |UPROXX|

In Retrospect: The Chris Benoit Murder-Suicide Five Years Later |Smoking Section|

‘The Many Talents of Kate Upton’ Is Terry Richardson’s Masterwork |With Leather|

5 Ways Video Games Can Improve Their Openings |Gamma Squad|

Louis C.K. Announces New Tour, Screws Ticketmaster & Scalpers By Selling Tickets Himself |UPROXX|

The ‘Iron Man’ Trilogy Makes No Sense (And Other Confusing Trilogies) |UPROXX|

First Look: The “Black Dynamite” Animated Series Trailer |Smoking Section|

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: A Thousand Words About The Artist We Call C-Tates |Film Drunk|

Nickelodeon Buried a Time Capsule in 1992 — Here’s What’s Inside |Warming Glow|

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Ladies, ladies, let's not fight over baseball.

Now that the NBA Playoffs are over, we can finally get back to what matters around here most – baseball and partially nude women. Thankfully, today I can bring you a story that involves both of these wonderful things, as our favorite exotic dancers at Rick’s Cabaret in New York City (use your judgment) took a moment to let us know their thoughts on this weekend’s Subway Series, with the red hot first place New York Yankees visiting the also-somewhat-hot second place New York Mets at Shea Citi Field.

I tried to ask the ladies their thoughts in person, but instead of questions like, “What do you think about the pitching matchups?” I just kept giggling like a child.

“We love the baseball guys, especially the Yankees” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Christina. “I’ve met some of the Yankees here at the club, but I can’t tell you who. We protect everyone’s privacy here at Rick’s, she explained.

Let’s just assume she’s talking about David Aardsma. “Rehabilitation” my ass.

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Man, I’d hate to see how they reenact things with kids in Uganda. (via The Other Paper)

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What If Microprocessors Never Existed? |UPROXX|

With Leather Live Discussion: NBA Finals – Game 1 |With Leather|

The Official With Leather Flowchart For Picking Your Team In 2012 The NBA Finals |With Leather|

20 Awesome Television Bitch-Slap GIFs |Warming Glow|

15 Superstar Musicians Who Subtly Appeared In Other Artists’ Songs |UPROXX|

The Internet Fittingly Lambasts The Ridiculous ‘Catwoman #0′ Cover |Gamma Squad|

Puffy Finally Came Out! |Smoking Section|

Classic Letter: Gene Wilder has some notes about Willy Wonka’s costume |Film Drunk|

Jon Stewart Perfectly Illustrates Why American Politics In 2012 Is So Damn Revolting |UPROXX|

#ThronesAndRecreation: The ‘Game Of Thrones’ Meets ‘Parks And Recreation’ Brainstorm The World Needed |UPROXX|

10 Points Of Emphasis For The 2012 NBA Finals |Smoking Section|

Lindsay Lohan is working with a porn star and Bret Easton Ellis |Film Drunk|

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 6/11/12: Vader Is Here And Nothing Else Matters |With Leather|

5 Reasons We Can’t Wait for “Tokyo Jungle” |Gamma Squad|

If You Ask Nicely, Bryan Cranston Might Send You a Plastic Bag Full of Blue Meth |Warming Glow|

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The Phillie Phanatic (a person/bird/thing I legitimately love more than most members of my family) is out for revenge. After traveling home to the Galapagos Islands to learn about his heritage and selflessly building homes for the less fortunate, what does he find? That a recent poll from the celebrity Davie-Brown Index ranked him as only the second-best mascot in the game … behind Mr. Met.

And yeah, I’m guessing the poll was 80% New Yorkers naming the only mascot they could remember, but that’s a travesty. A Jim Henson creation who has set the bar for mascot excellence for almost 40 years finishes behind a guy with a baseball head, because “baseball”. A f**king disgrace.

The Phanatic paid a visit to the New York Mets announce booth to address the situation, if we take “address the situation” to mean “polish Gary Cohen’s head” and make people wear cheesesteak hats. At least he got Cohen to say he likes his with whiz. The Phanatic isn’t as aggressive as I’d like him to be.

Video is below.

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I don’t believe that you can really judge a baseball team’s on-field success until at least May, once all of the kinks and bugs have been worked out, but I’ll go ahead and say now that one of the pleasant surprises of this early season is the 4-1, first place New York Mets. After an offseason of controversy and scandal involving owners Saul Katz and Fred Wilpon having to pay $162 million to the victims of Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme because they allegedly knew about it and made money off of it, it’s nice to see a little good news coming out of Citi Field.

And that goes double for today, because the Mets are celebrating their 50th year as a Major League Baseball franchise. On April 11, 1962, the Mets played for the first time and lost 11-4 to the more intelligent and classier St. Louis Cardinals, which wouldn’t be a big deal except that they went on to lose 119 more times that season to set a MLB record.

But nobody cares about that, because New York sports means being positive all the time, or so the New York Post believes.

No matter: Five years after the Dodgers and Giants left the city for California, National League baseball was back.

And it didn’t even matter that the team stunk — or, as manager Casey Stengel famously moaned, “Can’t anybody here play this game?”

New Yorkers loved their Mets.

Not until 1969 did the team finally have a winning season — but that was the year of the Miracle: They won 100 games and the World Series, and the city went wild.

And New York needed it, because that poor town just can’t catch a break in sports. Not like those a-holes over in Pittsburgh and Chicago. No sir, those Pirates and Cubs can’t take a step without tripping over a winning season or a World Series.

In all seriousness, though, a winning Mets team would make for a good story this season, just so they can do it for this guy…

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