New rule: when somebody asks you a question on Twitter, run every word of it through the Urban Dictionary. Otherwise, you’re like the New York Mets, stuck talking about how awesome it is when people creampie you. Quick, somebody try to convince them that “cuckold” is an old-timey term for being “scrappy.” (h/t to Media Rantz)

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Eliza Coupe Loves Jack White, Hates Cats, Thinks A Lot About What Her Last Meal Would Be |UPROXX|

Jennifer Lawrence’s ‘SNL’ Promos Prove That She’s An Angel Sent By A Lunatic God |Warming Glow|

Die Hard Director John McTiernan is Headed to Awesome-Sounding Prison |Film Drunk|

Here’s An Emotional Breakdown Of Oregon Ducks Fans Today Presented By Ralph Wiggum |With Leather|

Makers of ‘Dead Island’ Offer Bloody Boob Statue With Their Game, Are Shocked When People Are Offended |Gamma Squad|

100-Word Review: Wu-Block’s Self-Titled Album |Smoking Section|

LOLNFL 2012-2013: Divisional Weekend |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Next week he’s going to be on Charlie Rose talking about Cet obscur objet du désir.

Anyway, R.A. Dickey, the New York Mets knuckleballer who was so good this year he got a biography, a documentary and the 2012 National League Cy Young Award, showed up on ‘The Daily Show With Jon Stewart’ to discuss his magical super pitch, talk about the permanency of the written word and do his very best to avoid Jon’s nonstop string of HOW ARE THE METS PREPARING TO MAKE ME MISERABLE questions. I don’t blame Jon for asking those questions while he’s got the chance … if I interviewed R.A. Dickey, it’d just be “do you know Mr. Met personally,” followed by 10 minutes of silence.

The full, extended interview (courtesy of TheDailyShow.com). It’s a fascinating look into the life of a legitimately interesting baseball guy, and holy shit I miss baseball. Is it baseball yet?

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You will read this line in every Adam Greenberg story, including this one.

This is a great story for anyone who believes in second chances!

In the film Field Of Dreams, as in real life, Archibald “Moonlight” Graham who appeared as a right fielder in a single major league game for the New York Giants, but never got an at-bat. Through some combination of Kevin Costner, James Earl Jones and time-traveling magics, a young Archie gets a second chance to play against some of the best players of his day. After some sage advice from Shoeless Joe Jackson, Graham hits a sac fly to right, scoring a run and jogging back to his bench to a chorus of “AWRIGHT, KID,” or whatever dead people from the 20s would say.

Adam Greenberg got an at-bat, but it wasn’t something he’d like to remember. The then-Chicago Cub was blasted in the head with a 92-mph fastball during the first pitch of his MLB career. Through some combination of gusty determination, six years in the Independent Leagues and a generous opportunity from the Miami Marlins, Greenberg was given a one-day contract to appear in Miami’s game against the New York Mets on Tuesday. The video is below. Cue the Field of Dreams music.

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“Don’t shave it, Keith!”

I don’t know if this is just my high school experience or what, but when a pair of cute teen girls tell you to do something, you should probably do it. This video (by way of Jason Against Speed at Sportress Of Blogitude, by way of the MLB Fan Cave) features an organized protest against New York Mets legend Keith Hernandez’s decision to (maybe) shave the iconic mustache that made him the American Mustache Institute’s Top Sports Mustache Of All-Time.

If you’d like to join in the protest, this is what you have to do: find a caterpillar, slaughter it, stick it to the end of a kebob skewer and hold it under your nose. Declare a la Spartacus that you are Keith Hernandez, and explain how stupid it’d be for you to change your grooming habits slightly after circa 40 years. It helps if you’re cute, a child, holding a dog or speaking with a heavy accent.

Check out the video below, and remember: you are Keith Hernandez. Don’t do it.

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Earlier this month, the Houston Astros committed what I consider to be the worst play in the history of professional baseball when they turned a sacrifice bunt into a Cirque du Soleil-like dance of futility. I describe it as, “the kind of thing people put into movies about bad baseball teams in the opening montage so you’ll feel happy for them when they stop squatting and farting on the field”.

Now I think they’re just doing it on purpose.

Their latest work (by way of our friends at SportsGrid) features catcher Jason Castro and pitcher Fernando “A Bad Pitcher” Abad simultaneously charging an R.A. Dickey knuckle-swing, running into each other and helplessly falling to the ground as a pitcher beat them to first and a run scored from second.

There’s no way this can be real. Houston decided to amp up the helplessness a la the Washington Generals so even if lose 100 games next year and DON’T run into each other all the time it’ll look like an improvement. Or they’re about to be helped by angels. I don’t know what’s going on, but we need to hurry up and get to the punchline.

[via Yardbarker]

In the best example of a documentary turning a mundane task into high drama since King Of Kong’s Steve Wiebe had to choose between breaking the world Donkey Kong record or wiping his kid’s butt, FilmBuff’s Knuckleball turns “throwing a knuckleball” into a mystical fraternity of dudes who throw a ball a certain way despite it turning them into the worst and most ostracized people in the world.

This classic sports story recounts the 2011 journey of the last professional knuckleball pitchers: Tim Wakefield, a 17-year Red Sox veteran, and Mets up-and-comer R.A. Dickey. Together with just four other living knuckleballers, they shine a light on their remarkable brotherhood and the shared pursuit of honor and craftsmanship. (via YouTube description)

All joking (and melodrama) aside, I love a good baseball documentary, so I can’t wait for this. R.A. Dickey holding a chain-link fence, wishing every child could learn to throw a knuckleball is exactly what I want from a knuckleball movie anyway.

You can check out the full trailer below.

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