It shouldn’t really surprise anyone that the Indiana Pacers are in the position to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals tonight, as they’re the No. 3 seed in that division and they’re loaded with young, talented guys who can play strong defense. But I’m sure that most people expected the 2-seed New York Knicks to be the team that would ultimately lose to the 1-seed Miami Heat in the ECF. Alas, here we are on the verge of the Pacers pulling off a 4-1 series win over the Knicks tonight, unless Carmelo Anthony and JR Smith can locate their magic and stand up for themselves.

Obviously, a guy like Knicks owner James Dolan up there, seen moping and/or sleeping during Tuesday night’s loss to the Pacers, is going to be upset and embarrassed at this kind of series. But what about the average Knicks fan? Well, one Knicks fan is on his way to a viral video superstar this week, after his video rant about his team going to the NBA Finals hit the YouTubes, and I don’t even know what else to say.

Other than maybe use headphones if you’re at work, because this gentleman’s mouth is of the potty variety.

Read the rest of this entry »

If there’s one thing fans of ‘Game Of Thrones’ love, it’s dubstep. And if there’s one thing fans of dubstep love, it’s Carmelo Anthony. Not sure how Carmelo Anthony fans and ‘Game Of Thrones’ fans relate, but I’m going to assume there’s a 100% overlap.

So … yeah, ‘Game Of Thrones’ season 3 premieres on HBO on March 31, and nothing has gotten me hyped quite like a guy who has no possible idea what Game Of Thrones is sitting on a prop from the show, holding a basketball, talking about great wars. Because, get it, wars where you cut peoples’ guts out are just like Knicks games. They both involve an imp, too, if you count Spike Lee.

Here’s the clip. Spoiler alert: Khaleesi brings the Miami Heat across the Narrow Sea and torches New York.

Read the rest of this entry »

The New York Knicks did us all a favor this season by signing Rasheed Wallace, because we should always have his crazy ass involved in the NBA forever and ever until the world ends. Interestingly enough, the apocalypse will be David Stern’s fault, but that’s not related to today’s news. Namely, that Wallace’s season is over.

The Knicks are optimistic that Wallace, who is now out 8 weeks after foot surgery, could play in the playoffs, but let’s be realistic. That would require the Knicks to make it past the first round or at least win more than zero games.

So to show our respect for ‘Sheed, along with whatever sports crap is on TV tonight, here is a woman’s step-by-step process of making a Rasheed Wallace cross stich.

Read the rest of this entry »

In one of the better “Boys will be boys” stories of this early sports year, New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony reportedly took offense to something that Boston Celtics forward Kevin Garnett said to him during Boston’s 102-96 victory on Monday night. According to various websites, Garnett supposedly told Anthony that his wife and decision-maker, La La Vasquez-Anthony, “tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios”. Honestly, I don’t really know how that’s an insult, because it mostly just reminds me of Patrice O’Neal’s birthday cake joke (watch “Elephant in the Room” if you’re unfamiliar).

Now, if I had to guess, Garnett has never had sex with Anthony’s wife. Maybe he has, and therefore is qualified to make such a statement, but this is probably just an example of what the kids call “trash talk”. However, some people believe that this sort of trash talk crosses a line, including Anthony, who waited for Garnett by the Celtics team bus so they could settle this like men. After all, you can take the millionaire professional athlete out of Brooklyn, but you can’t take the Brooklyn out of the corporate product spokesperson.

Read the rest of this entry »

The only upside to a Mayan apocalypse going down at some point today would be the end of whoever keeps making athletes sing sports-related Christmas carols because they’re sports guys and it’s Christmas.

Yesterday we shared with you the 12 Days Of MMA Christmas (“two black eyes!” etc.), and before that it was pro wrestlers singing WWE Jingle Bells. Somewhere in-between we watched the Houston Rockets and Dallas Mavericks sing holiday carols, but I guess that wasn’t explicitly basketball enough, so somebody got 4-pack of Santa hats and made Jason Kidd, James Harden, Blake Griffin and Chris Paul sing NBA-specific Jingle Bells.

It … might be worse than the one with wrestlers. Sample lyric:

Over the “D” he jumps, dunking all the way!

Here’s the commercial. While you’re watching it, I’ll be writing up this thing somebody just sent me of Psy and a bunch of locked-out NHL players singing a Gangnam Style remix of ‘O Come All Ye Faithful.’

Read the rest of this entry »

If I had to rank professional sports fans in terms of craziness, I wouldn’t even think twice:

1) NBA fans
2) Everyone else

While NFL fans are certainly insane in their own rights and passionate about their teams, NBA fans have multiple layers of crazy that can be peeled back to reveal a molten core of manic lunacy that is the universe’s greatest natural source of irrational behavior. I think this is because the NBA, unlike the NFL and MLB, is a star-centric league, in that fans focus on the best players above the actual teams. People love LeBron James no matter what team he plays for, and they’ll go absolutely apesh*t if you try to tell them that’s wrong.

Additionally, the NBA has more frontrunner fans than the other pro sports leagues because the same teams always win. When those teams don’t win, those fans get even crazier, because they’re supposed to always win. But when they do win, these NBA fans become even crazier because they don’t understand how anyone can possibly hate their Lakers or Heat. How can you hate them? You have no reason. You’re just a hater. YOU’RE A HATER, DAMN IT!

Well, good news, you crazy ass fans. You can now anonymously submit your craziest thoughts and questions to “NBA Confessions” so you don’t have to deal with us haters and sane people who just don’t get you and your undying love for Kobe Bryant. Much like the Tim Tebow Confessions site that we’ve previously examined, the submissions are a delightful blend of standard inquiries and batsh*t insanity.

As always, I’ve included some of my favorites after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »