Are you an international With Leather reader looking to learn a little English so you can have colloquial conversations with the locals about basketball? If so, would you feel more comfortable learning it from a cute Taiwanese lady and a Who Framed Roger Rabbit?-style living cartoon of badly-animated Taiwanese Jeremy Lin? If you answered yes to either of these questions, who the f**k are you and how do you exist?

Anyway, Taiwan’s Next Media Animation project Learn English conversation with Carol! is my new favorite web series. I enjoy the premise (especially if it ends with LeBron James lowering animated Lin into a vat of The Dip) and I like knowing there’s still a place in the world where people think Jeremy Lin is inspiring and great at basketball.

For your viewing pleasure, I present episodes one and two. In episode three, Carol issues Order 66 and the sh*t goes down.

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One of my all-time favorite things to do is scour the depths of Etsy for random crap, because it’s just amazing how much awesomely ridiculous stuff people can create and sell on the Internet these days. But nothing gets my PayPal account pumping more than the sports gear that dedicated Etsy sellers have whipped up, and that’s why I want to devote this new weekly feature to finding my favorite Etsy sports merchandise, starting with that Tim Tebow pillar candle above.

Sure, I just pointed out that Tebow’s got a team of trademark-happy lawyers that are suing people for making things that don’t even mention the New York Jets backup QB’s name, but that’s not going to stop any of us from grabbing one of these $5 candles and letting the Jets fan upstairs know that we’re pushing for Tebow to get the other New York team a Super Bowl win.

After the jump, get in the gift-giving mood, because Etsy’s got every sport covered…

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TNT has really stepped its Photoshop game up this year.

With all of their injuries and adversities, the New York Knicks never stood much of a chance in defeating the No. 2 seed Miami Heat in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. But at least they gave it a fighting chance, as they fell 4-1 to the eventual Eastern Conference Champions after last night’s 106-94 at the American Airlines Arena in Miami. But what’s a Heat victory without a little cocky showboating at the expense of the underwhelmed opponent?

With less than 5 minutes left in the game, and a deficit of 16-points to Lebron James and Co., Amar’e Stoudemire fouled out with a charge on Shane Battier. To make matters worse more entertaining, Stoudemire reached out to help Battier to his feet only to withdraw his hand and make Battier look the fool. Because nothing says, “Haha, in your face” like pulling a “SYKE!” when your team is getting stomped.

Luckily for Battier, Heat public address announcer Michael Baiamonte had his back. As Stoudemire headed back to the bench to begin planning his summer vacation, Baiamonte shouted to the crowd, “He has been extinguished from the game!” Team employee trolling grade: A+.

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For the first time in three years, Brooklyn Nets Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard failed to win the NBA’s Defensive Player of the Year Award, which I am just going to assume he’s blaming on Stan Van Gundy. Instead, this year’s honor went to New York Knicks center Tyson Chandler, because when you think of the Knicks, you think of defense.

And that’s the kind of easy joke that so many people were ready to make, before Chandler beat us all to the punch and made the joke himself.

That’s some good comedy right there, namely because the Knicks played less-than-stellar defense this season, as evidenced by their inability to play better than the 7 seed and/or stop the Miami Heat from pummeling them into the dirt in the playoffs.

But to be fair, the Heat actually ranked lower than the Knicks in team defense this season, while the Knicks led the NBA in jackasses who punched glass.

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Strip club pep rallies > any other pep rallies

If you need proof that New York City is one of the greatest sports cities on Earth – I can’t rule out Middelfart, Denmark – it’s hard to look beyond the incredible enthusiasm that our good friends at Rick’s Cabaret constantly show for all of their teams. Obviously, we’ve already discussed their incredibly warm welcome for Tim Tebow, and hopefully they’ll listen to me and Mets Fan Motorboat Mondays once the team loses a few more games and slides into last place.

Right now, though, the ladies – pictured above with Sal the Stockbroker from The Howard Stern Show – are focused on showing support for their faltering New York Knicks, who are currently down 0-2 to the Miami Heat. That’s not going to last, according to the bridesmaids at my third wedding.

Rick’s Cabaret Girl Trina said that she considers some of the NY Knicks her favorite VIP customers. “We are not allowed to mention any names,” she explained. “But the basketball guys are awesome.”

Rick’s Cabaret Girl Karina said, “Look, Miami killed them in the first two games, but they are coming back to New York on Thursday. It is not over. The girls and I wanted to do something to show them how much we appreciate them. So we held a pep rally this afternoon to cheer them on. They can still turn it around – anything can happen.”

Asked about Amar’e Stoudemire’s injury, Rick’s Cabaret Girl Gianna said, “I appreciate his passion, but he went too far. I’m not worried, Carmelo Anthony will step it up. Carmelo is my favorite Knick. He can do it.”

We can joke all we want, but these girls appreciate their New York sports. Hell, if they started commenting on some gambling sites, they could be writing for ESPN Playbook by the end of the week.

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Welcome to a new weekly feature that we’ll be running in which we make a bunch of predictions about the upcoming week in sports. I would have run this yesterday, but HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF THE HEAVENS DID YOU SEE PAULINA GRETZKY? Also, hello to all our new readers in Finland!

Anywho, we miss a lot of little tidbits and interesting items during the day, for one reason or another, and not only will I use this as an opportunity to include more hockey news and discuss how humiliating last night’s St. Louis Blues loss was, but I will also lay my reputation as America’s last great gentleman blogger with a girl’s name on the line with 10 bold predictions.

Prepare to have your minds blown. (Side note: I would have posted this yesterday, but my crystal ball just kept telling me: “Dude, the Blues SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.”)

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