Back in July, New York Jets receiver Santonio Holmes vented his frustrations with the New York media, telling reporters that he didn’t appreciate how writers had been criticizing his team. Holmes, like many athletes, wrongly believes that the local newspapers should serve more as an ego-stroking PR guide than a non-biased source of information. And while the modern era sports columnist has proven that idea easier said than done, it still shows that athletes aren’t always the best at grasping reality.

Yesterday, Jets linebacker Bart Scott took Holmes’ gripe one step further in an interview with a USA Today reporter after his team laid a 48-28 spanking on the Buffalo Bills and Ryan Fitzpatrick’s Ivy League ass by declaring a “media mutiny”. I assume that’s before he yelled “YARRRRRGH!” and slid down the sails of his galleon with a knife in his teeth.

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I am well aware that blogging on a sports comedy site does not make me a “journalist” or a “reporter”, and sure, 90% of my day is collecting cheesy wrestler photos until I can run downstairs and watch movies, but Jesus Christ, even my highest-of-the-low-quality-writers no-worth-ethic-having ass would not use my internationally-broadcast Weather Channel report on Hurricane Isaac as an excuse to “Tebow”.

This is Weather Channel expert and “fitness nut” Jim Cantore Tebowing in the middle of Hurricane Isaac. I think the worst part is his “uhhh these winds are really powerful and it’s GETTIN’ HARD TO STAND” thing before it. He should’ve started off the report planking facedown in the street.

In case you’ve got a kinder heart than mine and you’re thinking, “maybe he really couldn’t stand up”, here’s a second clip of him doing push-ups.

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That ain't rain, it's a sploosh tsunami.

The New York Jets are 0-2 in the 2012 NFL Preseason thus far, and quarterback Mark Sanchez is a combined 13/17 for 80 yards, 0 TD and 1 INT in those two games. At the same time, the Jets’ backup QB and fan favorite Tim Tebow is a combined 9/22 for 96 yards, 0 TD and 1 INT. Needless to say, this is not a good sign for the Jets. But it’s not time to panic yet, because it’s just the preseason, after all, and besides, it’s all Wayne Hunter’s fault.

When it comes to Tebow’s actual on-field performances, though, nobody seems to care. Well, Boomer Esiason does, but that’s about it. After all, today’s hottest news about Tebow is that he was the only Jets QB to throw a football 25 yards into a trash can after 11 or so attempts (bonus pic at KSK), and South Carolina approved the Tebow Law, which allows home-schooled teenagers to play high school football.

And then there’s the New York Times, which is “reporting” that with preseason under way, the Big Apple’s biggest virgin will finally face his ultimate temptation.

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Two weeks ago, the NFL announced that it had signed some pretty heavy hitters to endorse a new line of fan gear for women, and while it’s not as awesome as when the league did this, it’s still a hell of a statement. Based on the fact that women comprise nearly half of pro football’s fan base, the NFL has brought in some powerful female figures to introduce Jane Everywoman to the “It’s My Team” gear, and the first images hit the webs today.

Among those powerful women are Miami Dolphins 1% owner Serena Williams and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who is repping her Cleveland Browns gear. Obviously she’s not a Buffalo Bills fan because Jack Donaghy eventually owns them, and he plays the flute, which is worse than the piano. Sports!

“Forty-five percent of fans are female and that continues to grow,” says Tracey Bleczinski, vice president of NFL consumer products. “We do have something for everyone, and this campaign aims to communicate that if you are living and wearing football, you can do it every day, year-round.”

Meanwhile, New York Jets owner Woody Johnson’s wife, Suzanne, is appearing in the ads and she wants women to understand it’s about infusing fashion with a lady’s gameday attire, so she can look good when the New York crowd starts chanting, “Show your t*ts!”

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Yesterday, after we wished New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow a very happy 25th birthday, ESPN apparently turned the volume up to 11 and threw the Teebster a birthday party for the ages. Sadly, I missed that, so I just imagine that it was the complete opposite of Kirk Cameron’s birthday party. But a lot of the Tweeps that I follow on Twitter were none too pleased with it, especially our colleague at Awful Announcing, as he really had a banner day.

People love (and hate) Tebow and ESPN knows that, so the “Worldwide Leader” is going to treat him just like the media golden boy that he is while ignoring real sports news, because who cares about that crap anyway? Luckily, I stumbled across the Tumblr site “Tim Tebow Confessions” yesterday, and I think it’s just perfect for the folks in Bristol, CT so they can send in their deepest inner thoughts to let us know what they really think about Tebow without being embarrassed.

All kidding aside, though, when you read these confessions – a few of them quite head-scratching – you’re going to think at least half of them were written by Skip Bayless.

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If you weren’t aware that today is New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow’s birthday, then you probably haven’t turned on a TV or logged into Facebook or Twitter yet. (Side note: If that’s not your morning routine, you’re already my role model.) But yes indeed, friends, today is the day of birth for the Chosen Gun – trying out some new nicknames in case he ever becomes accurate – and we’re certainly not at a shortage of needlessly positive Tebow news or jokes that his birthday is actually December 25.

ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio is already salivating over the prospect of a Tim Tebow Wildcat system, even claiming that Tebow may be the greatest left-handed athlete of all-time. My grandmother always told me that hyperbole is the greatest gift. Meanwhile, Tony Sparano, that architect of all those amazing Miami *fart noise* Dolphins *fart noise* offenses, is keeping almost everything about his Wildcat a secret, because he wants it to take two weeks before defenses start stuffing Shonn Greene for no gain.

But today is about celebration for the world’s beloved Tebow, and I find there’s no better way to honor him than with a special tribute from our dear friends at Rick’s Cabaret in New York City, as they passed along a few special birthday pictures this morning. And to top it all off, I made Tebow a very special With Leather photoshop birthday card.

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