Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means it’ll be a light day at With Leather. Burnsy will be enjoying a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, and I’ll be driving an hour south to San Antonio to eat mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and something called “glazed wham”. We’re very different people, but we love you the same.

If you’re like a lot of Americans, Thanksgiving means football. At UPROXX, Kissing Suzy Kolber means football, so here’s my best contribution to the vibe: a clip of Jimmy Junior, Wild Turkey Bourbon spoketurkey, choosing Thursday’s NFL match-ups. He picks the Houston/Detroit, Dallas/Washington and New England/New York games by eating feed out of a particular helmet, and hey, it’s not rocket science, but it’s as statistically valid as anything you’re gonna read at Bleacher Report.

Check out Jimmy’s picks below. “That turkey belongs on my plate” jokes not appreciated. Well, by half of us.

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I don’t ask for much in this life, other than an ageless super model girlfriend who poops million dollar bills, but if Houston Texans RB Arian Foster could grab me about 160 yards and 4 touchdowns against the Jets’ horrible run defense tonight, that would be groovy like a disco movie.

Monday Night Football: Houston Texans at New York Jets – 8:30 PM ET on ESPN

Tonight marks the 666th edition of Monday Night Football, and of course it involves the New York Jets and Tim Tebow. I’m almost excited to hear how many horrible jokes Chris Berman makes about it in the hours leading up to kickoff. The over under is 12 bad jokes… wait, 12? Like the number of apostles? The end is here! I cast a biblical plague upon your houses!

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With the New York Jets sort of thriving under new offensive coordinator Tony Sparano, the Miami Dolphins’ focus should be on how to stop whatever plays he’s going to throw at them in what will most certainly be a big revenge game for the former Miami coach. But with the Dolphins, the focus is never what it should be, and is instead usually about something ridiculous. In this case, it’s Tim Tebow, the Jets backup QB who has thrown zero footballs in the regular season through two games.

In particular, the focus is apparently on his fame and the bitterness it can cause among athletes who don’t get as much media attention as the former Heisman Trophy winner. Today’s sour grapes have been plucked from the vines of Dolphins receiver Brian Hartline, who echoed Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford’s previous sentiments that Tebow is no different than Kim Kardashian.

“That’s you guys, how much you love [him],” Hartline said of the media attention Tebow receives. “Everybody loves him, but the same people go with the Kardashians. I don’t know what they did, either.

“They’re on [magazine] covers everywhere. I mean, honestly. I know they’re really good people, do a lot of charity work. I just don’t know how they got started.” (Via the Sun-Sentinel)

Heeeeeeeeere’s the thing… for starters, as I just pointed out, this silly comparison was already made, so Hartline needs to freshen up his material a little. But Hartline might have himself a little case of amnesia, because if he really doesn’t know why Tebow has been the focus of so much hype since entering the NFL, I can remind him. Hartline probably won’t like it, but here is why…

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Pictured L to R: Mark Sanchez, Tim Tebow

“Here’s the story, of a lovely lady…”

‘The Brady Bunch’ is one of my favorite shows of all-time. Its reruns were my first real, sustained exposure to popular culture from before I was born, and something about a house full of lingo-spewing, disco-monster siblings appealed to an only child from the 80s. And hey, thankfully for me (and the Sports On TV column) the show is full of sports content, be it memorable (like Joe Namath showing up in a dream sequence to reveal he couldn’t have won the Super Bowl without a buck-toothed 8-year old) or the obscure (Wes Parker? Really?).

If you’ve never watched ‘The Brady Bunch’, flip through the column anyway. I’ve included applicable clips when possible, and at the very least you’ll want to see a Pony League game set to funk music. Show it to your parents or something.

And now, the 20 greatest sports moments from ‘The Brady Bunch’. Keep on, keep on, keep on, keep on clickin’ on through the post.

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Last month, 17-year old Josh Ehrenberg shoehorned himself into the national news scene when he told a local TV news crew that a man attacked him while he was mowing his lawn. Normally, this isn’t much of a story, because our society sucks and people attack each other all the time. But what made Ehrenberg’s case so remarkable was that he claimed the man got out of his car, shoved him from a riding mower and then he was apparently Tebowing. Because it all just sounds so true.

Well, the Shenango Township Police apparently have their man, as 53-year old David Edward McCosby was arrested for this heinous assault.

Investigators report that McCosby has confessed to assaulting the boy.

The assault came after the teenager–who was cutting grass in front of his family’s home–drove a riding mower “on the road, apparently into the path of” McCosby’s oncoming vehicle, cops reported. After exiting his car, McCosby approached the boy and “knocked the juvenile off the lawn mower and assaulted him in the front yard of the residence,” investigators alleged.

In announcing McCosby’s arrest, cops noted that, “After the assault, and prior to fleeing the scene, McCosby got onto his knee in what appeared to be a prayer. Witnesses described it as a ‘Tebow’.” (Via The Smoking Gun)

Originally it was Ehrenberg’s word against the world that McCosby Tebowed after assaulting him, and I didn’t believe it, because it’s just stupid. Now, though, it’s “witnesses” that saw McCosby Tebow, and guess what… I still don’t believe it.

I said it then and I’ll say it now – if this dude actually Tebowed after he shoved a teenage kid from his riding mower, he would have filmed it. Otherwise, it’s the dumbest thing ever. But now that I know that Ehrenberg was riding his mower in the road, I’m starting to think that there’s more to this story than what is being reported. Granted, I don’t know what kind of road it was or if McCosby is just a total dickhead, but I’m at least willing to entertain the idea that Ehrenberg was being a dick, because teenagers suck.

Unfortunate Update: McCosby killed himself. Jesus.

Back in July, New York Jets receiver Santonio Holmes vented his frustrations with the New York media, telling reporters that he didn’t appreciate how writers had been criticizing his team. Holmes, like many athletes, wrongly believes that the local newspapers should serve more as an ego-stroking PR guide than a non-biased source of information. And while the modern era sports columnist has proven that idea easier said than done, it still shows that athletes aren’t always the best at grasping reality.

Yesterday, Jets linebacker Bart Scott took Holmes’ gripe one step further in an interview with a USA Today reporter after his team laid a 48-28 spanking on the Buffalo Bills and Ryan Fitzpatrick’s Ivy League ass by declaring a “media mutiny”. I assume that’s before he yelled “YARRRRRGH!” and slid down the sails of his galleon with a knife in his teeth.

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