Sean Avery, the undisputed most hated man in a hockey arena, was at his havoc wreaking best over the weekend when he ‘snowed’ Islanders goalie Rick DiPietro in a classic show of douchebaggery on par with most Enrique Iglesias music videos then proceeded to hightail it away from a fighting opportunity when he was challenged by Islanders defenseman James Wisniewski. Avery’s payment? Getting a free showing of how much his self worth relates to a certain way of vesticle scrubbing in the eyes of the Islanders. I applaud your impeccable form, young padawan! Read the rest of this entry »

Do you like hockey? Do you like cupcakes? Have you ever looked at a cupcake and thought “Man, I wish I could associate this with the New York Islanders somehow.” Then, my friend, you’re in luck. The Islanders have inked a deal with New York cup cake manufacturer Cupcake Gourmet to make the company thee official Islander cupcake provider.

For the Islanders, it was something out of the box. So they brought the deal to Savor, the concessionaire of the Nassau Coliseum — where the team plays its home games. The company agreed to split its revenues with Brady.

“This is truly a non-traditional offering for most sports and entertainment venues,” said Justin Johnson, the team’s senior vice president of corporate partnerships and marketing. “We are thrilled to launch this partnership with Amy and Cupcake Gourmet as we continually enhance the everyday menu board for our fans.”

Brady will have a portable concession cart at all home games and will of course sell Islanders-themed orange, blue and white cupcakes. The partnership includes a “Lucky Row” promotion in which a row of fans at certain games will win free cupcakes. –Sports Biz with Darren Rovell

I’m always a fun of cupcakes, but Dippin Dots will still be my sweet treat of choice at sporting events. I wish I had been in the investors meeting for that pitch. I picture a large, mustachioed man in an old timey suit and top hat thinking he had just changed the world. “Tiny balls of iced cream, you say? It’s revolutionary! It’s genius! We’re going to change the way dairy products are served forever!”

What would you like to see served at sporting events? Let us know in the comments, or don’t. I’m not your dad.

The Islanders gave the Sabres 11 power plays during Buffalo’s 7-1 rout last night, and it’s pretty hard to imagine how that happened.  Having all your players punch people isn’t illegal, is it?  Or perhaps getting body-slammed to the ice is against the rules.  I think that should be worth at least half point.

Jason Pominville and Ales Kotalik [Ed. note: Hee hee! "Alice"!] led the Sabres with a goal and two assists apiece, but most of the credit should go to New York for playing like complete shit last night.  They looked worse than Long Island prom photos.

(thanks, 289)

Good news for Maple Leafs goaltender Vesa Toskala: because Toronto won this game, he won't have to commit ritual suicide for allowing a 178-foot goal against the Islanders.  He will have to endure endless ribbing about his gaffe, though.  Like if I were on the Leafs (LEAVES! The plural is Leaves, goddammit!), I'd say things like, "Hey Vesa, remember when Rob Davison just cleared the puck randomly and you let it bounce into the goal?" and "Way to stop the puck, no-stop," and "You're bad at your job."  I didn't get where I am today* by coming up with unoriginal insults, that's for sure.

*My parents' garage.  It's pretty much my own apartment, though.  And they're totally cool if rent's a little late. 

[James Mirtle] 

Today the NHL suspended the Islanders' Chris Simon for 30 games following his attempt to sever Jarkko Ruutu's Achilles tendon with his skate (video above).  The suspension is the longest in NHL history, breaking the record set by… Chris Simon!  That's right, Simon sat out 25 games for slashing Ryan Hollweg's face last March, and now he's on hiatus until… uh… however long it takes an NHL team to play 30 games.  It is the seventh time Simon has received additional punishment by the league for an incident on the ice.

The 35-year-old player went on a paid leave of absence Monday to receive counseling, and then met with the league's disciplinarian Colin Campbell on Tuesday in a 30-minute hearing…  Simon was to be paid during his leave, but with the suspension, Simon will forfeit $292,683.

Does someone wanna tell Chris you can punch a guy in the face and only sit out five minutes?  You get a nice little rest, and it doesn't cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I'd tell him myself, but I don't like the way he's shaving with that combat knife.

There's simply more capital-A Awesomeness in this video than I can possibly measure with words.  The 1980s mullet alive and well at an Islanders game… the new Internet star only knowing the words to the chorus… the tragedy of his spilled beer… the Amy Winehouse dance moves.  If this YouTube doesn't go from 1400 views to over a million by the end of the month, I'm going to be severely disappointed in our society.  Because if we can't laugh at drunk lip-syncing hockey fans, who can we laugh at?

…Well, yes.  "Retards" and "monkeys in clothes" are both good answers.  But the question was meant to be rhetorical.

[The Postmen]