Like most people, when news broke that the New Orleans Hornets were changing their name to the Pelicans, I was all like, “Pelicans? That’s a stupid mascot,” as I hid my Magic gear from plain sight. But thankfully I follow some diehard New Orleansonians on the Tweeters, including our good friend Chris Trew, and I now believe that with the bird’s actual legacy to the city combined with how amazingly nasty they are in nature, the Pelican is a phenomenal choice for a mascot.

However, some people are still making snap judgments based on ignorance, chief among them former Hornets guard, all-around good person and graduate of the LeBron James Institute of Get Me the F*ck Out of Here, Chris Paul.

Pelicans??? #ImNotRollin

— Chris Paul (@CP3) January 24, 2013

Don’t bother going to check the responses to that Tweet, because I can sum them all up for you with this sentence: “Gooooooooooooooooooo f*ck yourself.”

Local news anchor Scott “Not That Governor Dick” Walker perhaps shared the loudest sentiment with the athlete who famously forced his way out of New Orleans by reminding him that nobody in that delightful party town really cares what Paul thinks. And then Walker was reminded that Twitter is an awful place full of awful people and it really needs an IQ requirement.

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Here’s a video of Chris Paul throwing down a two-handed dunk. The Mayan apocalypse might actually be upon us.

The best part of the clip is that his own son didn’t believe it happened. Hold on to your butts, because this is the most adorable thing you’re going to read today. From Kevin Arnovitz on Twitter, by way of The Basketball Jones:

Well, technically he’s right. Maybe we should bring in Little Chris as a special guest analyst for next week’s Wednesday Dunk Battle. You know, assuming we can convince him between now and then that this is a Legitimate Dunk, and that the world doesn’t end tomorrow.

If that doesn’t count, we can always use CP3 dunking on Dwight Howard from a few years back, because reasons:

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I don’t mean to imply that we couldn’t watch any sports last night. For instance, I watched the Orlando Magic at the Chicago Bulls last night. But since Barack Obama had to be such a winner and whatever last night, the Bulls had to ruin that game for me, too. I mean, Joakim Noah was knocking down jumpers and Carlos Boozer looked like he had an actual pulse.

My point is that everyone was all fired up about the election last night, even though the only candidate who mattered was Kate Upton’s uncle. Oh well, at least we have some college football and NBA action tonight. And volleyball, I won’t ever exclude volleyball.

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It’s NBA season, and I desperately need to stop dicking around and pick a team to follow.

Here’s a brief history of my basketball fandom. When I was a kid growing up in southern Virginia, I loved the Charlotte Hornets. They were the closest team to me, purple and teal were in because The 1990s and Larry Johnson was helping Eddie Winslow win basketball games on ‘Family Matters’. For whatever reason (Alonzo Mourning in big, flashing letters) I drifted away from the Hornets and had a brief love for the Golden State Warriors before moving on and going to college and not caring about sports for a few years.

Eventually I moved to Cleveland, and you know how that story goes. OH WOW, THE CAVALIERS! LEBRON JAMES IS GREAT HE WILL BE WITH US FOR shit, my heart. I was prepared to give up basketball forever, but now I’m the editor-in-chief of a comedy sports blog, so I can’t. I loved basketball before, and I can love it again.

Right now I’m living in central Texas. That means I’ve got three NBA teams within a reasonable driving distance, four if you count New Orleans, and actually seeing the team play occasionally is important to me. This is where you come in. After the jump I’ve provided a handy poll, and I’d like for you to choose a team for me to love, drop down into the comments section and explain why you chose them. Next Friday I will consult the results of the poll and the comments section arguments and reveal which team I’ve chosen to love, then cover them incessantly for the rest of the season. Sound good? Good.

Choose wisely!

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Lost in all of today’s hubbub about the Heat looking like they’re already prepared for the NBA Finals, the Lakers looking like they’re already approaching a Kobe Bryant mopefest and Kevin Garnett needing a big hug was the fact that as of yesterday, we can no longer make jokes about LeBron James not having a ring. Indeed, the fun is officially over. As you can see above, the self-proclaimed King has his new ring and some sweet championship slippers, too.

Of course, we can still make jokes that he still has to win “not 1, not 2…” but it’s all lost the fun, especially now that he made that commercial with all of those kids that aired every 9 seconds during last night’s game. We get it, LeBron. You’re a champion now, and we should all completely love you. And as long as Garnett keeps playing the a-hole villain, it just might happen.

Anywho, on to tonight’s games…

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In case you ever wanted to hear Anthony Davis sing, here’s the latest episode of Trew To The Game, about New Orleans Hornets Media Day. First I miss the Bikini Hockey League Media Day, and now this. Come on, Uproxx.

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Links

This Bridezilla’s Letter To Her Potential Bridesmaids Is Sad, Terrifying |UPROXX|

The Description On This Chinese Bootleg ‘How I Met Your Mother’ DVD Is Pretty Accurate |Warming Glow|

Jennifer Lopez strips for Jason Statham |Film Drunk|

Victoria’s Secret At Cowboys Stadium Opened, And Hot Models Were There |With Leather|

Octopus Handily Beats Up Shark While Stealing Food |Gamma Squad|

The 10 Best Episodes Of “Batman: The Animated Series” |Smoking Section|

LOLNFL 2012: Week 4 |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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