Nets point guard Devin Harris is reportedly dating a Dallas bartender/model named Meghan Allen, according to Meghan Allen. Is it true? Well, if I can’t believe what The Big Lead reports a nude model said on Howard Stern, then I just don’t know who I can trust any more. Get ready to read at a third grade level:
Other neat stats: She’s a 34C, and despite the relationship with Harris, she’s going to be on the show Momma’s Boys next week on NBC.
Yes, bra sizes are “neat.” And being on a television show is a statistic.
Artie (snicker): Do you think he’s cheating on you?
Meghan: No (you can hear her big smile), he loves me, he wouldn’t do that.
This is why I try not to read The Big Lead. I mean him no harm, and I hate it when I bitch about other websites. Yet here I am, trying to focus on a story about tits, and all I can think about is how someone who says he can hear people smile writes for a living.
Anyway. More pictures here. **huffs entire can of paint**
In an attempt to lure fans to the arena during these economically lean times, the New Jersey Nets are offering free tickets to unemployed people.
[T]he basketball team will give unemployed fans who submit their resumes to the Nets Job Bank up to four free tickets, plus access to a Nov. 22 career fair at their home arena, team president and chief executive Brett Yormark said. The team also will distribute applicants’ resumes to its sponsors.
“Hopefully they’ll come out and experience the Nets, and then when times get better they’ll invest in us, because we invested in them,” Yormark said.
Oh sure. For the fans. Riiiiiiiight. No mention of the fact that the Nets will screen resumes of people from New Jersey for any potential “construction experts” who might have experience with — how do I put this subtly? — disposing of bodies. “No, we haven’t seen Vince Carter in months, officer…”
Nets forward Richard Jefferson — a man far too pretty for prison — allegedly choked a man in a swanky Minneapolis hotel in January, causing the man to lose consciousness and, months later, file charges against the NBA star. According to the victim's complaint:
Lyle Fox was having a private birthday party (he turned 28 that morning) at the Graves. Fox noticed that Jefferson came into the roped-off party area, prompting Fox to ask him to leave.
Jefferson "became very angry," grabbed Fox and threw him onto a bench. Then the 6-foot-7, 225-pound Jefferson "grabbed the victim by the throat with both hands and began to choke him. The victim went unconscious for a small amount of time."
Wait, he's talking about the Richard Jefferson that plays for the Nets, right? Because the Jefferson I've seen would never do this to another man. Unless he was coming on to that man. I'm really more likely to believe he was engaging in some rough foreplay than he was attacking another man.
Devin Harris made his debut for the Nets in a 120-106 win over the Bucks last night, leading his new team by scoring 21 points in just 21 minutes off the bench after practicing with New Jersey for the first time on Wednesday.
Not that Vince Carter noticed. "…zzzwha? Who? Kevin Harris? I dunno, reporter lady. Can't you ask someone who cares about the team?"
Josh Boone had a good game against the Cavaliers last night:
Boone scored a season-high 15 points, foiling the Hack-a-Boone strategy by making just enough when he was twice fouled intentionally in the fourth quarter, and the New Jersey Nets beat the Cleveland Cavaliers 105-97 on Friday night. The reserve forward was 4-for-19 (21 percent) from the line entering the game, but made 2-of-4 down the stretch to help the Nets end a four-game losing streak. "I said something to LeBron like, 'Man, don't disrespect me like that,"' Boone said. "Then again, I am shooting 20 percent from the free throw line on the year. I tried to step up there and made 1-of-2 on both of them."
Congratulations sir, you truly deserve to be called a professional cager for making 50% of your charity shots. The Cavs should have known that the "Hack-a-Boone" strategy wouldn't work because it doesn't rhyme like "Hack-a-Shaq". That's why the Indians never killed Daniel Boone - their war parties couldn't come up with a cool rhyming scheme to shout while dispatching him. "Hey, this white asshole keeps trespassing on our hunting grounds in Kentucky. Who has a death rhyme for 'Boone', so we can kill him. No, I said 'Boone', get your minds out of the gutter!" -KD
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The New Orleans Hornets traveled to lovely New Jersey for a matchup of the two best all-around point guards in the game, and Chris Paul and Jason Kidd didn't disappoint. Kidd scored 14 points while adding 10 assists and 9 rebounds, but Paul got the edge this time, scoring a season-high 27 points, including a layup with 2.7 seconds remaining that gave the Hornets their final lead. Richard Jefferson had 32 in a losing effort, while Vince Carter (gay?) is out indefinitely.
So has the torch been passed? The reins handed over? Is Chris Paul officially the best point guard in the NBA? One thing's for certain: when the game's on the line and all you have to beat your wife with is a cookie, Jason Kidd is the guy I want taking a shot to her uterus. Hell, I bet Paul can't even wife-beat his way out of a paper bag.
Elsewhere in the Association: Pervasive evil with religious facade wins easily over Sacramento. Carlos Boozer had 32/10, Kirilenko came close to a triple-double, and Jerry Sloan went to the hospital afterwards to suffocate newborn babies… Nuggs torch Cavs 122-100. A.I. gets 37 and 8 dimes, J.R. Smith scores 29 on 10-of-13 shooting in 24 minutes off the bench, and 'Melo throws in 22 and 9 boards for good measure. LeBron James also played.
