In a new commercial that perfectly illustrates the value of wearing fuzzy pink boots made out of Muppet fur in public, UGG’s “Invisible Game” features New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady catching a pretend pass from a precocious child in an airport and engaging in a full-on tackle football in the concourse. Of course, the child prevails, catches a long bomb and pulls a Jerome Simpson in the endzone to (I guess) win the game. It’s cute, and because of it I’m suddenly okay wearing shoes that make me look like the Ultimate Warrior in front of strangers. UGG: the only shoe that describes itself.

Hopefully Funny Or Die has spent the last hour writing up a version of this with Brett Favre, or maybe one where Brady catches a pass from the kid’s mom and invisible fingerbangs her in the airport while everyone tries to get his autograph. That’s the only thing I can think of more unbearable than having kids pretend to throw footballs to you every time you’re trying to catch a plane for the rest of your life.

Being an NFL replacement ref is easy, right? You just know a lot about football, learn what all the hand gestures mean and speak clearly into a microphone for what, ten seconds at a time?

Meet Don King, a guy who lucked into a scab position and should be BORN to talk, because his name is f**king “Don King”. Don had a little trouble spitting it out during the second quarter of Wednesday night’s Patriots-Giants preseason game, and if the embarrassment of having a stadium full of people boo you for being terrible isn’t enough, he’ll have the televised broadcast full of pro football players laughing at him to make it as bad as possible. Ugh, look at his poor mouth. It looks like an asshole.

Why was he so shaken up, you think? It could be because of this:

Read the rest of this entry »

One of the Internet’s greatest time-wasters, aside from YouTube black holes and Reddit threads, is the Sports Illustrated photo vault. Forget, for a brief second, that you can browse almost every Swimsuit Issue photo ever taken, because while that’s certainly something that I can appreciate, it takes away from the awesomeness of the other images, like Drew Brees presumably telling Peter King that his face isn’t made of chocolate or Barry Sanders hanging out with Josef the lion.

The other day, SI.com released a new gallery of famous athletes and sports personalities in their little league baseball days, and it might be my favorite thing yet. Between Eric Chavez and his baseball jeans and Doug Flutie’s awesome participation trophy, this gallery is spectacular. But my absolute favorite is that image of New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick above, because it is the most Little Rascals thing I’ve seen since The Little Rascals.

As a recommendation, I think the SI Vault should also include a collection of sports bloggers’ tee ball and little league photos. They can start with mine after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

In yesterday’s Morning Links we shared with you the bizarre audition tape wherein New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft flirts with actress/girlfriend Ricki Lander (best known role: “Flight Attendant” in Iron Man, calls a Dante from Clerks looking dude a pussy and punches him in the face in exaggerated slow motion. It’s one of those things just weird enough to become a huge hit on the Internet, and after places like Deadspin got a hold of it, it was curtains. Thankfully nothing dies on the Internet, so the clip lives on.

As it turns out, the video was Lander’s audition for the upcoming Vince Vaughn-slash-Owen Wilson vehicle The Internship and Kraft, ever helpful, was reading Wilson’s lines. Lander was reading for the part of “the internship”. I couldn’t really tell. Anyway, the video became so ubiquitous that Kraft had to address it head on, and though I’m sad his comments weren’t just “F**k YOU, pussy!” and a punch, they were basically perfect.

“I tried to help Ricki prepare an audition tape for an upcoming Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy by reading Wilson’s lines,” Kraft said in a statement from the team. “I never intended that it would be made public and I regret that it has. I think we can all agree that Owen Wilson has nothing to worry about. I am going to stick to my day job.” (via Pro Football Talk)

Maybe it’ll end up being a good thing, and “f**k you, pussy” will be the Pats motto for 2012-13. I don’t like the Patriots, but I’d probably buy the t-shirt.

Here’s the video again, in glorious Vimeo-vision, in case you missed it:

Read the rest of this entry »

Photos from the latest ESPN The Magazine Body Issue have landed, and in this year’s issue we get to see Strikeforce Women’s Bantamweight Champion Ronda Rousey in nothing but pink gloves … possibly our only chance to ever do so without being glared at and having our arms ripped off.

The Body Issue is no stranger to MMA stars in the buff, lest we forget last year’s epic Jon ‘Bones’ Jones naked and peeing into a swimming pool effort. Nobody gets it that badly this year, but some of the more bizarre highlights include a naked jockey letting a horse lick his head, a lady with no legs climbing a rope swing and nude sailboat sailing. Maybe they should change the issue topic from “bodies we want” to “bodies we want doing things we wouldn’t be photographed doing with clothes on”.

Anyway, after the jump are a few choice shots from the issue (we can’t include them all, we want you to visit ESPN for that) including Ronda’s full appearance. Naked horse-licked jockey not included.

(you’re welcome)

Read the rest of this entry »

Best part: “F**k you, pussy!” /fake punch

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

5 Albums Coming Out This Week That Don’t Suck |UPROXX|

10 Amazing TV Actors Who Have Never Been Nominated For An Emmy |Warming Glow|

Dark Knight Rises Gets A Soundtrack, You Get A Boner |Film Drunk|

With Leather Interview: Ken Block Takes Us For A Spin |With Leather|

Five Properties We Wish LucasArts Would Turn Into An FPS |Gamma Squad|

First Listen: Frank Ocean’s “Channel Orange” Full Album Stream |Smoking Section|

10 Instances Of Ashanti Looking Gloriously Thick |Smoking Section|

We Might Finally, Possibly, Maybe Know The Villain For Star Trek 2 |Gamma Squad|

If You Bash Kate Upton, Beware The Internet’s Rage |With Leather|

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming |Film Drunk|

Watch Bryan Cranston Transform Into Walter White Of ‘Breaking Bad’ |Warming Glow|

12 ‘Breaking Bad’ Comics Guaranteed To Make Hardcore Fans Laugh Their Minerals Off |UPROXX|

Read the rest of this entry »