Think about it. It’s Sunday night and the New England Patriots have just lost the Super Bowl. Because you’re a Guy On The Internet, you think it’s an awesome idea to find a place with a bunch of Pats fans and troll them. In real life, that’d involve you putting on a Victor Cruz jersey, going to the UMass campus and giving everybody the finger while you salsa dance.
And, just like on the Internet, people get upset. You get threatened, and eventually somebody sucker punches you. You get dragged away (banned, whatever), the whole thing is recorded and spread around and a guy dressed like a banana is there for some reason. If you added Brazzers ads and a super loud thing telling me I’ve won a free iPad, that’s the f**king Internet, right?
The moral of the story is this: don’t be that guy on the Internet, whether you’re on the Internet or not. Better yet, don’t be the drunk Masshole who yells RRRRIOTTT when a riot might almost be happening.
"Get up, son. You're making a meme outta yourself."
Another day, another sports meme. After Tim Tebow’s practice of praying on the field developed into the act of “Tebowing”, not a single popular athlete is safe from having one simple moment turned into a ridiculous fad. Yesterday, two days removed from the New York Giants defeating the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI, Tom Brady learned that lesson all too well, as he became the inspiration for “Bradying”.
After his Patriots failed to pull off a last second miracle, it took Brady a few moments to collect himself, and he ended up looking like a miserable “Peanuts” character as he sulked on the ground. That brief moment was a blessing to the legions of NFL fans who loathe the Pats for being good at what their team isn’t – winning. And everyone with a camera and an ability to sit helped usher in this new meme era… sort of.
In the worst nickname-on-the-back-of-football-jerseys news since He Hate Me revealed that He Actually Fairly Indifferent Toward Me, New England Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, the man who wanted his nick on his back so badly he pulled an Ultimate Warrior and legally changed his name, will become Chad Johnson again soon.
The news comes via his Twitter account @Ochocinco:
Of course, the tweet before that reads, “A thug is being able to drive a Prius smoking a cigar getting a girls hair full of cigar smoke listening to Little River Band ‘Reminiscing’” so take that news with a grain of salt.
It’s a good call, though. On a day when the Patriots rendered one of their wide-outs the least important person in professional sports by resigning Tiquan Underwood three days after releasing him so he couldn’t play in the Super Bowl, putting “Johnson” on your back instead of an incorrect spelling of your number in Spanish is smart. Best case scenario, they’ll think you’re someone else and let you play a few more years.
Somewhere Terrell Owens is trying to get his name changed to Terry Teeoh.
The 33-year-old “Extra” correspondent found herself on the losing end of a bet against her colleague A.J. Calloway Sunday after her beloved New England Patriots fell short of the Super Bowl championship.
According to the terms of the bet, Menounos had to host the show in a red, white and blue bikini – and luckily for her, a pair of warm, furry black Uggs.
If Calloway had lost, he would have had to don a Patriots cheerleader outfit.
(If Mario Lopez had lost, he would’ve had to have kissed Calloway on the mouth, which he would’ve hated.)
What you’re looking for: Pictures and video of this, because Maria Menounos is awesome to look at. Well, look no further! Thanks to With Leather you won’t have to take two seconds to type “maria menunous bikini bet” into Google (and 30 or more trying to spell “Menounos”) — we’ve got video, high-res photos and a MIDI of Elton John’s “Candle In The Wind” playing in the background throughout.
Rob Gronkowski and Matt Light Partied After Last Night’s Super Bowl Loss - I don’t know Gronk personally, but I assume “play football” and “party” are his only two speeds. This is how he expresses sadness. [Brobible]
M.I.A.’s Middle Finger: A Synthetic Scandal - Here’s an idea: if a “mere apology” isn’t enough to make the PTC happy, stop apologizing to the PTC. [Warming Glow]
Nicki Minaj Slowed Down = Jay-Z - The best part of the halftime show was watching Minaj bug her eyes out repeatedly and try so hard not to be the center of attention. [High Definite]
Eric Rosado Presents “Sh*t Knicks Fans Say” - I wanted to make a “Sh*t Indians Fans Say” so With Leather could get a little traffic, but “we didn’t sign anybody” and “Jason Kipnis is pretty good!” don’t make an entertaining video. [Smoking Section]
Clint Eastwood’s Super Bowl Comercial Contradicting His Political Beliefs? - What about that time he shot a guy with a gun in the old west? Would he shoot someone in real life? Has he ever even lived in the old west? [Moviefone]
Extended Version Of Avengers Super Bowl Trailer Is Here, Sort Of Reveals Who’s In Loki’s Army - I hope there’s a plot point explaining why they undid all the good of Captain America’s 1940s costume and gave him that Morphsuit looking number. [Gamma Squad]
The new Spider-Man looks like a giraffe, wears track shoes - And speaking of bad super hero looks, I hope Spidey can see the Lizard through those pools of urine on his face. [Film Drunk]
The Best Of #Step Brothers - I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home. [UPROXX]
Derpy Louisiana Congressman John Fleming Thinks The Onion Publishes Real News - This is Literally Unbelievable! I hope he never sees the story about the black neighborhood terrorized by an ask murderer. [UPROXX]
18 Jaw Dropping Photos Of Europe’s Deadly Winter - Click here for 23 jaw dropping photos from Bananarama’s Cruel Summer. [Buzzfeed]
SXSW Comedy Podcast Lineup Announced - Awesome, I can finally challenge the Sklar Brothers to a duel with swords. I don’t care, I’ll take them on at the same time, I bet they don’t even know how to use swords. [HuffPost Comedy]
15 of the World’s Weirdest Marriages, ‘I Now Pronounce You… What?!’ - I said “Chuck and Larry”. What, can you not hear me? [The FW]
Why Abed and Troy from Community are the Best Geeks on TV - The Big Bang Theory is the minstrel show of this generation. We need more shows about uncool people who actually exist. [Unreality]
By defeating the New England Patriots 21-17 last night in Indianapolis, the New York Giants are the Super Bowl XLVI Champions. *holds for applause* Chances are you watched the game and know that it started off boring, then got really exciting, had some old lady flopping around and later ended with Giants quarterback Eli Manning leading what has become his trademark in a 4th quarter comeback. Manning earned his second Super Bowl MVP and he should headline an offseason of stories not limited to but including:
Is Eli better than his brother Peyton Manning now? And many lazy people will say yes because he has two Super Bowl rings.
Is the era of Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and the Patriots over? And the answer is no, because Tom Brady is still a badass.
Has Gisele Bundchen’s god forsaken her? Probably.
Where is Peyton going to play? Will he end up in Miami? Washington? With the New York Jets? The Toronto Argonauts? And the answer is Miami. It has to happen. I sacrificed way too many virgins to the gods this weekend.
And there will be other news and notes, but they’ll all irresponsibly gloss over the fact that on Saturday, Kate Upton, Chrissy Teigen, Erin Andrews and some other people who claim to be famous played in the sixth annual Celebrity Beach Bowl, and while nobody tried desperately to tear Upton’s shorts off like Tom Arnold did with Marisa Miller last year, she still managed to steal our hearts once again.
Also, Brooklyn Decker was at the GQ/Lacoste Super Bowl party with some guy who plays ping pong or something, so I included them so they don’t feel left out and cry. I’m a sweetheart.
This video is The Internet in real life.
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