If you missed the last five minutes of last night’s game between the Colts and Patriots–which is not a rivalry but a fine matchup nonetheless–you saw Bill Belichick instantly shed the label of “coaching genius” when he sent his offense back out onto the field for a 4th and 2 play from his own 28 yard line. With a six-point lead, Tom Brady threw a screen pass to Kevin Faulk, who bobbled the ball in front of the chains, completed the catch, and was knocked backwards by the Colts’ defense. The ball was spotted short of the first down just before the 2-minute warning, and the Patriots, having used two timeouts on their very short drive, could not challenge the call. Peyton drives the Colts down the short field for a Reggie Wayne TD catch, and the extra point seals a 35-34 Colts win.
There’s only so many ways to say “insane.” Belichick didn’t seem confident after the failed 3rd and 2 pass that he was planning to go for it all along. Who throws it when (a) you need two plays for two yards, and (b) you’re trying to kill the clock, even if Tom Brady is your quarterback?
Was Belichick so immersed in his own excellence that he just assumed he could get the two yards? Or was he so convinced that Peyton Manning was going to beat him anyway? Of course, if Belichick gets his two yards, we’re not having this discussion, but that still doesn’t mean it wasn’t the dumbest call ever.
I can appreciate that Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are both great NFL quarterbacks. They and their teams are the Stuffed Chicken Marsala and Tour of Italy of the NFL–perennially delicious and on the brain without so much of a glance at the other fare on the menu. They’re always good. And I understand that, yes, these teams have played each other every year since 2003 and occasionally meet in the playoffs. But does that really make Colts-Patriots a rivalry?
Merriam-Webster defines rival as simply, “one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess.” But doesn’t that apply to all 32 teams in the NFL? You know, besides the Browns? What makes this “rivalry” different. Well, aside from the fact that the Colts and Patriots shared a division until the 2002 season, not a whole hell of a lot.
The teams don’t exactly share similarities–the Patriots are a shrewd, defensive-minded team cast in the image of their maker/videographer Bill Belichick. The Foxboro defense relies on both exuberant team speed and sometimes parts discarded from other clubs. The Colts, conversely, let it all hang out, and are happy to let Pey-Pey lead the offense’s expeditions to the end zone and hope that the defense can keep up. It’s the same blueprint that the Saints have used in their own digs; when a team plays more than half their games in favorable climates, you can do that.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s going to be a badass game. But that’s all it is. There’s no turf war between Boston and Indianapolis, no bolstered competitiveness that can’t be found in any other game involving great teams. But when two of the league’s best get together on national TV, there’s doesn’t have to be.
Miami Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter was asked about his team’s upcoming matchup against the Patriots on Sunday
“Never really too much cared for New England,” Porter said. “Still don’t care for New England. The hate’s been there for a while, especially after all the cheating they did back in the day. I can honestly say I don’t agree with it, but it happened, and it’s over with now.”[..]
Porter also commented on Patriots quarterback Tom Brady:
“When a guy can tell a ref when to throw a flag and he gets it and stuff like that, he got his own rules. They made the whole [rule that you] don’t go at the legs because of Tom. So when he feels that someone is coming at his legs, he just points at the ref and he gets a flag. So you’ve got to honestly say that he got his own rules.” –ESPN.
It’s bizarre to think of such a frightening individual actually goes by “Joey.” But damn, I think Roger Goodell would put Tom Brady in a dress if Mr. Porter asked him. Yeah, I’m just calling him Mr. Porter now to be safe, and I should add that Mr. Porter is a wonderful person without any sort of chemical imbalance whatsoever.
As a bizarre slate of games–one where all the good, capable teams were playing each other as the curious, questionable teams were doing the same–was beginning to unfold, the I-coulda-swore-they-were-dead-last-week New England Patriots were blowing out the winless Tennessee Titans. As the snow fell, so did six touchdown passes fall from the hand of Tom Brady, including five in one quarter, which is obviously an NFL record or else there would be no fun in bringing that up.
“I’m disappointed and embarrassed,” Tennessee coach Jeff Fisher said. “Fortunately for me, career-wise, I have never been through anything like this before and, unfortunately, it happened tonight. I can assure you one thing, it’s not going to happen again.”
The Titans couldn’t even stop New England when Brian Hoyer(notes), a free agent rookie from Michigan State, took over for Brady on the second series of the third quarter with the score 52-0. He completed 9 of 11 passes for 52 yards in his pro debut and scored on a 1-yard run on his first series. via.
So now everyone is left to wonder why Bill Belichick stuck his foot so far up Jeff Fisher’s ass. I’m more concerned about how Tennessee–a division champ from a year ago–can’t seem to win a game, or even now show up for one. Brady was benched in the third after going 29-of-34, and it’s ridiculous to think that any sort of decorum would force Belichick to make that move sooner. Tennessee snowed itself in here. And it will be up to them over the next 11 weeks to find a way to dig themselves out.
Future NFL Hall-of-Fame linebacker Junior Seau is expected to come out of retirement this week to sign with the New England Patriots. It will be the 40-year-old’s third tour of duty in Foxboro.
He is entering his 20th NFL season — the majority (13) spent with the San Diego Chargers, three with the Miami Dolphins and four with New England.
Seau was expected to sign after the Patriots gave him a physical and a workout last week.
Seau nixed his retirement last season to play the final four games with New England after playing 27 games with them in 2006-07. via.
Ask any old person–retirement is boring. And really, it’s not like there’s anyplace else in the world where one can slap white people senseless like one can in the NFL. And if he can live the dream for another 11 weeks, then good on him. I guess the rodeo clowning and amateur breast consultations aren’t paying the bills the way working on Sundays will, either. Thanks, Crista.
Remember that robocall that New York Jets coach Rex Ryan put out to all of the team’s season ticket holders to trash all the cars in the Meadowlands parking lot with Massachusetts plates? Neither do I, but some enterprising Jets fans took it upon themselves to leave these guys a little parting gift after watching the green and white beat New England in Week 2. I’ve said before that sports fandom can turn into a outlet for fascism for a lot of white people, but this is just too much. That said, it’s probably a better use of mustard and light beer than you see at most tailgates. via. also.
