Detroit Lions tackle Ndamukong Suh is no stranger to trading paycheck money for Blitz: The League 2-style necksnapping and ballpopping. The league fined him $7,500 for his hit on Jake Delhomme and 15K for his forearm strike (or “two-hand shiver”) to the back of Jay Cutler’s sad head.

Friday night’s game between the Lions and the Cincinnati Bengals happened, and Suh did not react kindly to Richie Cunningham in the pocket. Take a look for yourself.

The NFL hasn’t released any official statement on the hit or the fine, but Ndamukong’s Twitter update has given us an important clue. See if you can figure it out.

Read the rest of this entry »

smdh

Sports

Santiago Casilla And The Worst Plate Appearance In Baseball History - A guy with no interest in batting gets on base because a pitcher can’t throw three uncontested strikes. He’s standing like two feet from the plate, I’m thinking Billy f**king Marlin could’ve wandered out and made those throws. [SBN]

Ndamukong Suh Is Still Trying To Decapitate Quarterbacks - I wish my name was 1/50th as cool as Ndamukong Suh’s. My name is “Brandon” because I was born in the 80s. Ten years later 90210 showed up and every kid got the name. I’m going to name my nerdy white child “Ndamukong” to turn the tides. [Smoking Section]

Rex Ryan Photobombs Mark Sanchez’s GQ Photo Shoot - It does look like some pretty good bathin’. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Hot Potato Gallery: Iryna Ivanova, MMA Ring Girl And Playboy Playmate - At some point we’re going to have to draw the line in regards to whom we masturbate. Seriously, if you took away this girl’s boobs she’d be the Harry Potter cosplay girl down at Jamba Juice. She’s the type who’d show up on Ricki Lake as the LOOK AT ME NOW lady. But yes, her boobs are giant. [Cage Potato]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Summerslam 2011 - Enjoy the general positivity of this column, because I came pretty close to doing The Worst And Worst for Raw. I can’t even figure out a way to drag a Best out of Kelly Kelly at this point. [With Leather]

Alex Smith Is Awful - and nine other random thoughts from the NFL this weekend. In a better world, Burnsy’s football stuff would get 150 comments and my dumb wrestling things would be begging for feedback. I mean, moreso than they already are. [With Leather]

Kimbo Slice Hilariously Murders White Nobody - Update: Kimbo also beat Von Kaiser, but he’s having trouble on Piston Honda because he’s seven and can’t get the hang of the “block” mechanics. I would put up a better fight than this guy and I haven’t thrown a real punch since I was 16. [With Leather]

Delonte West Is A Rapper Now - Of course he is. Is he still riding around on a three-wheeled motorcycle? That would be even cooler. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Huzzah! Kate Plus 8 Finally Canceled - Now Kate can lower to her rightful role of being about as famous as Flo from Progressive. I still wish they’d done a show called “Jon Plus Non” about Jon Gosselin wandering around smoking, having to care for no-one. [Warming Glow]

On the Catwalk: The Best of the Algonquin Hotel’s Cat Fashion Show - I tried hard to justify this as sports, but came up short. I can give the thumbs up to a sex doll contest and air guitar, but not cat fashion shows. I’m doing the internet wrong. [UPROXX]

Ken Jeong and Donald Glover Talk Community Season 3 - Brandon talks wanting to watch Community Season 3 right now. It’s been off long enough for me to start thinking it’s not as good as it actually is. Come back quickly before I start having stupid opinions! [Ask Men]

The Worst People On Facebook (And Possibly The Planet) - Hoooooly sh*t. It starts off bad and gets so, so much worse. I thought I knew some messed up people. Way to ruin “boom, roasted” for everyone, jerks. [College Humor]

The Detroit Lions defensive line of Ndamukong Suh, Nick Fairley and Kyle Vanden Bosch haven’t played a single down together, but head coach Jim Schwartz’s month-long mission to give them a cool nickname is finally over.

“I’ve heard a lot of people suggesting names for the Lions’ front four. Send your ideas. Whoever has the best, gets an autographed fball.”

And the autographed “fball” goes to whoever came up with SILVER CRUSH. The nickname comes from the fact that defensive linemen enjoy crushing, and (in this case) wear silver. It is nothing like the Orange Crush of the Denver Broncos. In fact, I don’t even see where you could get that. A close second place finisher was the “Dis-Assembly Line” (I see what you did there), followed by “Non-Stop Motors” and “Detroit Pride”. My source says another suggestion was “Ghost Lamp Darkness”, but that doesn’t sound like a thing so I’m not going to cite it. My suggestions, the “Blundercats”, did not place.

As we’ve learned from Major League Baseball, a fun nickname is just behind new uniforms on the list of things that suddenly make your terrible team great. Now the Lions just need to get a new stadium and a mascot that rides a skateboard.

[via DS360]

The Lions and Browns are generally awful, but every now and again they manage to awkwardly fumble around until they have an exciting game against each other. Jake Delhomme is plenty familiar with awkwardly fumbling, a language in which he’ll be fluent in after a season as the starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. Unfortunately for Delhomme, the pain that comes with playing for Cleveland has already started. Detroit rookie Ndamukong Suh almost ripped his head off Saturday night, forcing many people who enjoy cocaine to politely ask him if he would ‘relax.’

You know what they say, there’s nothing fixes a case of the Mondays like watching someone’s neck nearly get broken. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Detroit Lions rookie Ndamukong “Badonkadonk” Suh met up with noted recording artist Jay-Z recently. “Recording artist” is my nice way of saying “guy that makes music that I don’t really like.

The No. 2 overall draft pick recently got some career and life advice from Jay-Z. Suh met the rapper and part owner of the New Jersey Nets backstage at the Palms Casino Resort in March.

“He said, ‘Stay humble, hungry. And continue to press on,’ ” Suh said. “He was very proud of the way I carried myself and so forth. Just stay who you are, stay true to what you are and what you believe in. Don’t change yourself. Don’t let the money change you.” –FreeP.

Pretty humble words for a guy hanging out in a plush Vegas hotel that goes home to Beyonce’ at night. And I’ll be fair, “Empire State of Mind” is a pretty good song, but nothing else he’s ever done really blows my skirt up. I’m more of a Skee Lo guy. Who doesn’t wish he was a little bit taller. Or a baller, for that matter?