The setup of the basketball floor at Ford’s field seems a bit goofy; they’ve laid it right in the center of the arena and raised the hardwood nearly three feet off the arena floor. Well, North Carolina coach Roy Williams doesn’t like it, which is surprising, since his Tar Heels crushed Michigan State on that very same floor in December. From FanNation:
Williams spent a portion of the first half down in front of the bench, meaning “you’re sitting there looking a people’s shinbones.” [...]
“Tom [Izzo] brought a chair up and sat it on the court level … and I didn’t want to do that; I like to sit down a lot. I was not comfortable, I couldn’t see the far end of the court, what I really wanted to see. Most of the time, after the second TV timeout, I stayed up on the court level.”
Jeez, why don’t you cry about it, Roy? It’s not like you’re playing the game on a freaking asteroid in outer space. Maybe you need to have Gene Hackman come up there and measure the hoops for you. Just hope that Hansbrough doesn’t hit his head on the scoreboard. That’s a very expensive scoreboard.
We’re a day late on this clip, but this EPIC FAIL of a high-five was by far and away the highlight of Selection Sunday. When will old white guys learn that they should stick to firm handshakes and lemon parties? Or maybe just firm handshakes. **Googles “lemon party”** Yeah, definitely just firm handshakes.
Winthrop basketball players Franchesca Davenport and Jennifer Walker were kicked off the team after they were caught shoplifting from Wal-Mart. It’s unfortunate for them, but I can understand. I mean, Wal-Mart has lots of great stuff to steal, like guns, electronics, ammunition for guns, and, uh… hot dogs?
A man at the store told police Walker had two DVDs in her jacket pocket, Davenport had two bags of chicken in a Wal-Mart bag, and the third woman had a pack of hot dogs in her purse as all three women left the store, according to a police incident report.
A source close to the story — and I’m not making this up — says that the DVDs Walker had were Madagascar and The Secret of Life. I’ve never heard of the latter. If I had to take a guess, I’d assume they meant The Secret Life of Bees — that sounds like a women’s basketball player kind of movie. Or maybe it was just The Secret. The secret is that you can have anything you want if you just take it from Wal-Mart.
It seems crazy to talk about college basketball outside of March and early April, but I suppose it counts as news when the top-ranked team loses for the third week in a row — to the previous #1 team! Wow! Can you believe how wacky sports are?!?!?
Anyway. #4 Wake Forest toppled Duke 70-68 with a late layup from James Johnson, although you can barely glean that from the video, because the mongoloids in the booth are hardly capable of giving competent play-by-play and analysis. Oh yes, that’s right: Dick Vitale is calling a Duke game. You may want to take some preventive measures before listening to the clip, like puncturing your eardrums with an ice pick. You’ll thank me later.
Here’s another highlight from this weekend you may have missed if you don’t watch SportsCenter, as I don’t. I’m not proud of that or anything, I’ve just gotten so used to absorbing sports through the Internet that a highlights show on TV takes way too long to get to whatever information I want to know. What do you mean, after the commercial? I can’t wait that long!
Anyway. Houston’s Aubrey Coleman casually walked on Chase Budinger’s face after Budinger took a charge near midcourt. Coleman earned a flagrant foul and was ejected, while Arizona rallied from a 12-point deficit before winning in overtime. The lesson being, don’t walk on anyone’s face. Not for free, anyway. You can make good money doing that. You just have to find the right Craigslist ads.
UPDATE: Now in HD form.
This is Jarret Johnson of Anderson University (South Carolina), who takes advantage of a fast break to humiliate an opposing player from Coker College. Snap-judgment-type people are already calling it the dunk of the year, because snap-judgment-type people need something to be more important than it really is, even if the college and NBA seasons are only halfway over, and March Madness and the NBA playoffs are still months away.
Luckily for that Coker kid, his name hasn’t hit the internet yet. Imagine if every time you met a girl who was interested in you, then she went home and Googled you, and the first result was you getting air-walked over as someone threw it down in your face. I’m not saying you wouldn’t get laid, but that’s a degree of difficulty I certainly don’t need. It’s already hard enough out there for a sex offender, you know?
[Fan IQ]
