On Friday, we discussed the valiant ambitions of J.P. Bolwahnn, the 34-year old running back for the University of San Diego Toreros who has also served in the military for the past 13 years. A Navy SEAL and member of the Special Operations Forces, Bolwahnn openly shared his goal of scoring a touchdown on Saturday against Western New Mexico, so he could stand in the end zone and salute his fallen friends and fellow soldiers. Hold on, I need to check something… yep, still got goosebumps.

Well, San Diego defeated the Mustangs 30-10, and on the closing drive, the Toreros put the rock in Bolwahnn’s hands. How did that turn out, L.A. Times?

Leading 30-10 with 3 minutes 8 seconds left in their home opener, the Toreros took over at Western New Mexico’s 35-yard line and tried to help Bolwahnn fulfill his pledge. Bolwahnn carried the ball on six consecutive plays, gaining a first down, before the clock ran out with San Diego on the 20.

Bolwahnn finished with 15 yards rushing.

I’m not one to ever tell a player not to play, as every player should give his best efforts on a football field. But down 20, with just over 3 minutes remaining, maybe let up a little, Mustangs? I know that sounds stupid and contradictory, but Western New Mexico isn’t exactly on the cusp of becoming a BCS buster. Nor have I ever seen one Mustangs highlight on SportsCenter. So why wouldn’t both teams want to be a part of something so special and meaningful? I’m not saying that the Mustangs should all fall to the ground or open a free hole like their names were Kardashian. I just think they should ease off the pedal a little.

After all, the Iowa Hawkeyes deprived us of a dog leading their team onto the field and they just lost to Iowa State. And in case you’re wondering, I like to imagine that Hawkeye the Dog running onto a field would look a little like this…

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Upon first glance, seeing that the University of San Diego currently has a 34-year old running back would be cause for laughter. However, since that 34-year old is a member of the Special Operations Force in the United States military, you can stuff your laughter in a sack and like it, mister. J.P. Bolwahnn (No. 28 above) is excited to be playing football again after a 13-year military career. And while it may sound a little arrogant that he already has his first end zone celebration planned, you better believe it’s a good one.

He’s going to salute the American flag to honor his fallen friends and fellow soldiers on the eve of 9/11. Take that, Chad Ochocinco.

The gesture will be for Petty Officer Danny Dietz, killed six years ago in a firefight with Taliban guerrillas. It will be for Lt. Cmdr. Jonas Kelsall and Chief Petty Officer Robert James Reeves, who died last month when their helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan. And it will be for all the other Navy SEALs still fighting abroad.

“I remember their names, I remember seeing their faces,” Bolwahnn said of Kelsall and Reeves, whom he trained during a four-year stint as a SEALs instructor. He was even closer to Dietz, shepherding the fresh-faced recruit through his early days in Bolwahnn’s unit. (Via The Los Angeles Times)

Bolwahnn’s teammates also talk about what an incredible badass he is in practice, bringing his drill instructor intimidation to the field. 34 or not, I bet this guy can be a monster on the field. But it should go without saying that San Diego’s lone priority should be getting him in the end zone.

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"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!"

Last week, it was reported that 13 current Miami Hurricanes football players were declared ineligible after a former booster and current prison inmate, Nevin Shapiro, blew the doors open on a decade of recruiting violations, paid players, hookers, and abortions, among other accusations. The number of suspended players almost immediately dropped to 8 – or it was initially misreported – and the NCAA promised Miami that it would reach a decision within a few days, and it sure did.

Eight players have been given suspensions for this season, and they must repay the benefits. Then they can play. Seriously. Those players include:

QB Jacory Harris – 1 game
WR Travis Benjamin – 1 game
DT Marcus Forston – 1 game
DE Adewale Ojomo – 1 game
LB Sean Spence – 1 game
TE Dyron Dye – 4 games
S Ray-Ray Armstrong – 4 games
DE Olivier Vernon – 6 games

(Via CBS Sports)

In all, the NCAA found that Shapiro indeed gave these players benefits in the forms of cash, food, transportation, and/or night club trips, but the amounts were so low and genuinely insulting to people with any common sense, that nobody is really getting in trouble. Factor in that Miami apparently began covering its ass cooperating right away, and that is supposed to explain why Jim Tressel not reporting the exchange of autographs for tattoos is such a more shameful act.

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When the mail arrives today, the folks at Yahoo! Sports are probably going to have some nice thank you notes on Ohio State and USC letterheads, because Charles Robinson’s mind-blowing investigation of the University of Miami could possibly go down as the biggest college football scandal in history. Even Southern Methodist alums are probably high-fiving this morning.

Former booster Nevin Shapiro spilled the Cuban black beans on nearly a decade of improprieties that include Hurricanes players and coaches (football and basketball) being paid, lavish house and yacht parties, prostitutes, jewelry, and even bounties for players to cause injuries to opposing athletes like Tim Tebow. Shapiro, in more than 100 hours of taped confessions, even claims to have paid for a stripper’s abortion. Throw in his admittance that his own sports agency, Axcess Sports & Entertainment, was funneling money to college players in exchange for their agreement to sign with them, and you’ve got yourself one hell of a scandal.

But don’t worry, Miami’s officials are taking this all very seriously.

“When Shapiro made his allegations nearly a year ago, he and his attorneys refused to provide any facts to the university,” [Miami associate AD for communications Chris] Freet said. “We notified the NCAA enforcement officials of these allegations. We are fully cooperating with the NCAA and are conducting a joint investigation. We take these matters very seriously.” (Yahoo!)

You bet your darn patootie they take this seriously. They’re likely going to hang a sign around Shapiro’s neck, labeling him a Ponzi scheme-running scoundrel, but that’s not going to alter the public perception of “The U.” What should happen? If the claims are true – and apparently there are 20,000 pages of financial documentation that suggest validity – then it’s the death penalty, even though that doesn’t exist anymore. What will happen? Nobody really knows, but we can guess that it will start with a few years of red-tape-laden legal battles, with the majority of former Miami players, coaches (some of which are now at Alabama and Florida, among other schools), and administrative officials calling Shapiro names, notably a big ol’ poopy pants liar.

Either way, we’ll be entertained. Miami fans won’t, but there are only a few hundred actual Miami Hurricanes fans on this planet, so the convenient fans will just find a new team. Have fun with that, Florida Gators. After the jump, check out the juicier quotes from Robinson’s incredible article.

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North Carolina State men’s basketball coach Mark Gottfried created/contributed to some rumblings on the old Twitters last night, saying that he has heard that Texas A&M and Florida State may join the SEC. Texas Governor Rick Perry has been praying daily for the SEC to call on A&M, and that shouldn’t surprise anyone because he’s an Aggie alum. But the news about FSU is a bit of a surprise, since the ‘Noles have been ACC mainstays for 20 years. Either way, the Internet is awake so the spin machines are working.

From the Orlando Sentinel:

If the rumors about Texas A&M do pan out, though, it would send the SEC to 13 teams and a potentially swollen SEC West division. That probably would send the conference looking for a suitable SEC East counterpart to balance the sides. For that reason, most believe Florida State, a team already located in the heart of Dixie, and with a big SEC-style following, would be that 14th team.

Sucks for you, University of West Florida. But won’t somebody crap on that rumor?

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It looks like I’m going to have to turn “Texas football guys dying” into a daily feature. Yesterday, we shared the story of Prestonwood Christian School assistant football coach Wade McLain, who collapsed and died when he stood outside all day in one of the state’s 40-plus days of 100-degree-plus weather. Today’s story takes place amidst air conditioning but is no less brutal — the storied college sports rivalry between the University of Oklahoma and the University of Texas at Austin evolved from aggressive car decals to full-on knife fighting at a San Antonio Applebee’s. Applebee’s©, where stacking food on top of different foods constitutes a new menu item!

The report and video, courtesy of Alamo Graphics News:

An argument over college football escalated into a knife fight at a San Antonio Applebee’s that sent two men to the hospital.

Police said officers were called to a northwest Applebee’s restaurant just before midnight on Monday in regards to a fight that started as an argument between an Oklahoma Sooners fan and Texas Longhorns fan. The argument escalated, and the Oklahoma fan pulled a knife and attacked the Texas fan.

Both were taken to University Hospital, where the Texas fan was last reported in stable condition; the other man in critical condition.

State pride legislation permits me to point how how the Oklahoma fan is the one who pulled the knife and attacked, but is the one in critical condition. Oklahoma, ladies and gentlemen, the Poland of the central United States. I hope by “pulled a knife” they mean he picked up the steak knife he was using at the Applebee’s and tried to stab a guy. I wonder if he got Garlic Mash in his wounds.

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