Remember back in September when that weird Arkansas Razorbacks fan put on a pig helmet, strapped some tape to her nose a la Pee-wee Herman in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure and sang a Razorback-themed version of Brotherhood Of Man’s ‘United We Stand?’ Okay, you probably don’t remember ALL of it, but you remember the lady in the pig helmet.

Anyway, in celebration of signing day, said lady (YouTube user LIZHONEY2U) has uploaded a cover of Johnny Nash’s ‘I Can See Clearly Now.’ Her reason:

Great job recruiting, Coach Beilema!!!! Alex Collins, whew!!!

“Whew” is one of the many words I’d use to describe this video. I’d also include the sentence, “if you can afford a novelty Razorbacks helmet and button, why are you recording your YouTube videos with a toaster.”

I hope Arkansas has a terrible season, just to see if she’ll do a cover of ‘Gloomy Sunday.’

[h/t to Dr. Saturday]

Congrats, you've all been reinstated.

Remember back in August of 2011, when Yahoo! Sports’ Charles Robinson blew the doors open on a Miami Hurricanes scandal that had most college football fans chanting, “DEATH PENALTY! DEATH PENALTY!” At the heart of the story was a Napoleonic booster named Nevin Shapiro, who wanted so desperately to be accepted into the lore of “The U” that he planned stripper yacht parties and booze-fueled night club ragers that lasted entire weekends.

The problem was that he also planned one hell of a Ponzi scheme, and he eventually went to jail for it. That’s when he conveniently spilled the beans to Robinson about all of the players he had paid and gifts he had given over the years, and Miami had to slam on the brakes and do some serious damage control. Of course, that meant a slap on the wrist for a few guys and some crossed fingers, because after that it was all up to the NCAA’s enforcement team to determine what would happen next.

So naturally they f*cked it all up.

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"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???" *quack*

Chances are you’ve probably already been buried by the news and Tweets that Chip Kelly is leaving the Oregon Ducks, despite previous claims that he would be staying with the program. Because I didn’t see any other reporters freaking out about this on Twitter, I believe that ESPN’s Chris Mortensen broke the news earlier this afternoon.

Chip Kelly is the new coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, according to league sources. No announcement yet.

— Chris Mortensen (@mortreport) January 16, 2013

Of course, the Philadelphia Eagles fans that I know well – those who have lived through so many years of anger and rage – are taking this hire with a grain of salt, because who the hell knows what to expect from college coaches who make the jump to the NFL anymore? Sure, Jim Harbaugh has done wonders with the San Francisco 49ers, but to that I simply retort, NICK SABAN NICK SABAN NICK SABAN.

But if Saban has taught us anything, it’s that Oregon fans shouldn’t be too shocked by this announcement. Coaches are dirty, rotten liars and the sooner that we accept this into our lives, the sooner we can all recover from their treacherous deceits. For the fun of it, though, I’d like to share how I imagine the typical Ducks fans’ day went down with some help from the delightful Ralph Wiggum.

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It has been three days since the No. 2 Alabama Crimson Tide laid a hurtin’ on the No. 1 Notre Dame Fighting Irish in the BCS National Championship Game, and I already had to look up when the game was played just so I could write how many days it has been. Thanks to Notre Dame’s failure to show up – as well as the Internet generation’s lack of attention span – most of us can’t even remember the score of that forgettable game, because this week has been all about Miss Alabama USA Katherine Webb.

Webb, of course, is easy to remember, because she’s the attractive brunette who was sitting with Alabama QB AJ McCarron’s mom during the game, which caused Brent Musberger to say what half of America was thinking. (The other half, of course, ran to the Gawker comments section to call Webb ugly.) For her few moments of TV time, Webb gained more than 100,000 Twitter followers over night, to which Darren Rovell replied, “Hubba hubba.”

Naturally, TV networks and media outlets have been fawning over this relatively unknown beauty queen, because she’s the boo of the national champion QB – ol’ whatshisname, as I’m sure The View has called him – so she’s already made a few TV appearances to talk about this whirlwind week. Unfortunately, that’s all coming to an end, because Webb has canceled her remaining TV appearances and changed her phone number. I blame Darnell Dockett for that second part.

Thankfully, TMZ knows what’s really going on.

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Is this girl gonna make the championship this year?

Aw, remember the crying Alabama fan and his high maintenance hotty? I sure do miss them. I know that wasn’t from the National Championship game, but I hope she’s at the game tonight, just not with him. In fact, if she has two tickets and needs someone to sit with, I’d like to suggest that she team up with this Notre Dame fan:

Can we make that happen, Blog Gods? Maybe they get a little tipsy after and decide, for one night, to host a webcam show? Is that a possibility? We can dream, fellas. We can dream.

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Well friends, pack up the hero worship and get the Heisman committee on the phone, because we have a big, old controversy for this year’s Heisman Trophy winner, Johnny Manziel, already. Manziel, of course, turned in a great season with the Texas A&M Aggies, as he passed for 3,706 yards and 26 touchdowns, while rushing for 1,410 yards and another 21 TDs, all of which was good enough to make him the first freshman to ever win college football’s top individual prize.

To make the season even better for the Aggies, Manziel carried them to an 11th win in the Cotton Bowl, as he torched Oklahoma for four TDs, including two in the air and two on the ground. In a year that really lacked college football superstars – mostly thanks to injuries – Manziel was truly the most exciting guy to watch. But none of that matters now because people are upset that he’s a big ol’ boozehound. Allegedly.

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