I like to imagine this video was created when the Don Draper of Taiwanese Animation walked into the studio (apartment where these are put together), wiped his hand across the sky and boldly stated, “Bobby Petrino getting a blowjob on a motorcycle”. And then those two high-fiving ladies from the end of the NMA World Edition videos drew up these beautiful painted storyboards of Petrino making O-face and powersliding off the road, and eventually it became what you see below.

Not to ruin anything for you, but at one point Petrino gets catapulted through a window when a domesticated boar headbutts him in the junk. Stay for the slow motion replay.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re not familiar with the story of U.S. Senate candidate Craig James, it really is quite a tale of scandal, intrigue and unbridled arrogance. Just to catch you up to speed with a dummy’s version – James was a talented running back and attended Southern Methodist University in the heyday of the program’s paid player scandal, and his NFL claim to fame was being ousted by Peyton Hillis as the last white running back to rush for 1,000 yards in one season.

After his short NFL career ended in 1988, James spent the next 20 years as a college football analyst, bouncing around networks, but always having a connection to ESPN, where he would eventually end up. In fact, he thinks so highly of his broadcasting skills that he founded the Craig James School of Broadcasting. And apparently the first lesson you can learn there is how to coddle your underperforming son and use your TV power as leverage in creating and promoting a scandal against a college football coach like Mike Leach.

In 2009, Leach allegedly forced Craig’s son, Adam, to sit in a dark electrical shed as punishment. Leach was eventually fired, and Adam later admitted that he was never forced to sit in a dark shed, was actually told not to sit in that shed, but he did so anyway because he thought it was “funny.” Alas, that is not a story that Craig will ever tell, because he stands by his version and believes that recaps like mine are pure propaganda in a vast conspiracy against his good name.

Or so he basically said in a recent interview (with his daughter) about his current 2012 U.S. Senate campaign, in which he is polling a whopping 4% among voters. Because if you want people to like you, go back to the ground zero of why people hate you.

Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve talked a lot at With Leather about the racist things you are and aren’t allowed to say about Jeremy Lin’s unexpected run as the HNIC (or its equivalent) of the New York Knicks. We’ve disagreed a lot, and I probably shouldn’t have tried to quote Lean On Me in the previous sentence, but the one thing upon which we could reach a consensus opinion is “if you’ve got something racially sketchy to say about Jeremy Lin, don’t say it in front of a camera or type it on the Internet”.

Unfortunately, Maryland football signee Stefon Diggs has just discovered Lin and didn’t get the memo, so here he is on his Twitter saying Jeremy Lin’s penis is an egg roll and his balls are dumplings, because “China”. And yeah, getting furious and demanding apologies for it are a stupid waste of time, but it’s worth pointing out and just kinda broadly facepalming about.

Personally, I think Stefon should get back into his transformation chamber, turn back into Steve Diggs and be the lovable nerd we all know and love.

[h/t Jason Kirk @ SBN]

When asked by investigators if former Penn State assistant coach Mike McQueary had reported witnessing Jerry Sandusky raping a young child in team facilities, former Penn State University athletic director Tim Curley said no. However, former Penn State coach Joe Paterno admitted that he had a discussion with McQueary about what he saw, so Curley and former PSU vice president Gary Schultz, who also replied, “Huh? Wha? No way, dude,” were charged with perjury and failure to report a crime.

Now the attorney for Schultz is asking for those charges to be dismissed, since Paterno has since passed and he never gave his actual sworn testimony. I’d like to act shocked and appalled, but I assume this is just the tip of the convenience iceberg.

Paterno’s recollection and testimony about a conversation with former assistant coach Mike McQueary would have been the corroboration required by law for prosecutors to prove that the 57-year-old Curley lied to the grand jury when he said McQueary did not tell him that he had witnessed anything about Sandusky that needed to be reported to police, Roberto argued. (Via The Patriot News)

The prosecutors were going to ask Paterno for his testimony back in November, but they were told that he was too sick. So they waited, waited waited… and now they’re left with an unofficial testimony that is never going to stand up and McQueary’s word, and Pennsylvania law doesn’t allow perjury charges to be determined by just one man’s word against another.

Obviously, this news just further proves that Paterno’s legacy will continued to be defined by what he might have known, while the people implicated in the entire Sandusky ordeal use JoePa’s passing as their bullet-proof vest.

Read the rest of this entry »

Who died and put Kevin Smith in charge of creativity?

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Cocky 17-Year-Old Gets Ruined In A Rap Battle With His English Teacher - Laughing my ass off at “Blizzard”. What’re you, a fake rapper from an episode of Clone High? [Buzzfeed]

Are These NCAA Helmet Concepts Better Than Current Designs? - I bought a tablet! Look at these helmets! They’ve got lens flares! Blergh! [Brobible]

Twelve Reasons Why NBC Is a Last-Place Network - Reason thirteen: nobody at the network has invited me over to meet and take pictures with Aubrey Plaza. Reason fourteen: Aubrey Plaza has never kissed me on the mouth. [Warming Glow]

Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Specifically The Province of Skyrim - Now I really want to run into Pimpbot 5000 in a Dwemer Ruin. [Gamma Squad]

Channing Tatum Showed Rachel McAdams His Dong - Channing Tatum shows us his dong every time he makes a movie. He calls it “acting”. [Film Drunk]

Meme Watch: Sudden Clarity Clarence Finally Gets It - A guy with an upset look on his face with the caption “oh my god I left the clothes in the washer” is the closest I’ve ever come to being in a meme. [UPROXX]

This Is How You Place An Order At Sonic - I wonder how many times I missed someone “going viral” as a teenager by just rolling my eyes at people like this instead of taping them? [UPROXX]

Redbox Gives Warner Bros The One-Finger Salute - Hey guys, I want something that is exactly like Netflix, only I’d have to drive to the Walgreens down the street and stand in the parking lot for several minutes before it’d let me watch a movie. Any ideas? [Smoking Section]

Kate Upton Is The Best Person Ever At Eating Cheeseburgers - If you missed this, please click the link. We only update about Kate so many times each day. [With Leather]

Is Kristen Bell’s Sloth Meltdown Meme-Worthy? - No? It’s just nice. Stop making things memes! [The FW]

25 Things That Have Happened Since Meryl Streep Won Her Most Recent Oscar - I was two, if that matters. Holy sh*t that was a long time ago. That was what, 1928? [Moviefone]

The Best Gallery of Soul Calibur Cosplay in Existence - Hot girls dressed like Mortal Kombat characters > people dressed like Soul Calibur things. Unless it’s Link. Girls dressed like Link are the BEST. [Unreality]

I hate writing obituaries and memoriam posts. Unless you truly know a person, they’re just usually so forced and awkward. Although, with sports it’s a little different, because we are inspired by athletes and coaches on a regular basis, so we feel like we know these people. That’s what makes this whole Joe Paterno thing incredibly strange.

I used to wonder why Paterno was such a big deal. He only won two national championships and the last one was in 1986. I viewed him the same way that I did Bobby Knight – “What have you done for me lately?” But I always lacked one thing that would have given me actual perception – a favorite college football team. Growing up, I had no allegiance to any college football teams, so I never actually understood how incredible it is for one guy to stay with the same team for a career. And now, as a fan of the UCF Knights, I openly beg for George O’Leary to be fired.

That’s why this quote that I came across in reading the media’s reaction to JoePa’s death stuck out a little.

“Why leave?” Paterno explained in a 1995 interview with the Tampa Tribune. “It’s got everything I want: small town, a college town. I can walk home after games. I’ve been accepted as a faculty member, not treated as a dumb jock. I can do things that suit me intellectually; I’m a little bit of an egghead.”

I admire that. As we’ve seen far too often, players and coaches want bright lights and big cities. JoePa was apparently happy with the small town. It’s refreshing, to say the least. That’s why I can understand the incredible outpouring of emotions and respect the students and alumni have been showing for JoePa since news of his death broke yesterday. They see the 46 years of head coaching and the man who charged onto the field for 409 victories.

However, that’s mostly limited to his friends, fans and former players, because the rest of us see him for who he became over the last three months of his life. I don’t quite know how I feel about Paterno anymore. I used to not care who he was. He was a coach, cool. Then I thought he was great because he stuck around and he was this cool old dude who crapped himself during a game.

But now I just want answers. I think we all want answers, because none of us wants our heroes to be exposed as anything but perfect. That’s why I understand the love for JoePa. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it. And we’ll probably never get those answers now that he’s gone. Most of us won’t settle for “I never heard of that” as an excuse for turning a blind eye to his friend and defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky allegedly raping children in Penn State facilities. Aware or not, that’s the man’s legacy. Trust me, I don’t want it to be his legacy, but I don’t think anything will ever happen to change it now that he’s gone.

And it’s a shame, because he’s still a hero to so many people, who will spend the rest of their lives defending him, despite still wanting the questions answered. After the jump, I have some reactions from the media and JoePa’s friends, as well as pictures from the Penn State student body’s tribute.

Read the rest of this entry »