In perhaps my frontrunner for favorite sports moment of 2013, the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ decision to let a 7-year old cancer patient named Jack Hoffman participate in last month’s Spring Game and even score a touchdown has made an amazing impact on the boy’s life. Since that day, he has already had his very own, limited edition Upper Deck trading card printed and he even met with President Obama at the White House. Because of this attention, Nebraska Sen. Deb Fischer also successfully pushed to have Jack’s birthday, September 26, declared National Pediatric Brain Cancer Awareness Day.

There was absolutely nothing negative about this heart-warming story that could seemingly help raise awareness for so many other children throughout the country, as they cope with horrible illnesses. But people are both stupid and horrible, so of course someone had to ruin the fun.

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Wyoming coach Dave Christensen wants his team to be fast. How fast, you ask? So fast that he’s willing to spend all day in photoshop to illustrate it.

The problem is that Dave isn’t exactly a photoshop wizard, so the 2013 Wyoming Cowboys will have to settle for being motivated by an extended gag from an Ashley Burns post. Ladies and gentlemen, behold, auteur Dave Christensen’s masterpiece FastNFurious 13: All Roads Lead To The Endzone.

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Texas A&M quarterback and eventual Buffalo Bill Johnny Manziel found a winning formula with trainer George Whitfield last year, as the 20-year old became the first freshman to ever win the Heisman Trophy. Between his own success and that of his new best bro AJ McCarron, who led Alabama to another BCS Championship, there’s not a pair of camouflage cargo shorts in the country that isn’t filled with wonder as to whether Manziel can lead the Aggies all the way this year.

Well, courtside seats and night club VIP sections be damned, because Manziel and Whitfield are hard at work on an encore, as they’ve been battling the waves in Southern California this week as part of his intense workouts. Of course, it can’t be all work and no play, because that makes Johnny Football a dull boy. So the young slinger stopped by yesterday’s Padres-Nationals game at Petco Park, where he was able to meet fellow A&M alum and Nats manager Davey Johnson before taking in some batting practice.

Manziel homered, naturally, because he’s a f*cking winner, bro.

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In what continues to be my go-to feel-better story of the year, 7-year old Jack Hoffman is still riding the high of becoming the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ biggest star football player in the program’s long, storied history. (Obviously, I’ve crossed out the Bill Callahan era with a thick, black Magic Marker.) Jack, of course, is the young brain cancer patient who ran for a 69-yard touchdown during the team’s recent spring game, and that was followed up by Upper Deck creating his very own trading card.

Yesterday, Jack and his family got to visit the White House and meet with President Barack Obama for about 15 minutes to talk about the boy’s incredible spring.

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Quarterbacking is serious business, especially when you’re a junior in college. So when your teammates fall over like fainting goats to prank you because they think it’d be funny, you gotta SPIKE THAT BALL and RUN AWAY.

That’s what Bryn Renner did. Brynner. He became a reasonable level of enraged when his teammates tried to have fun, took off his helmet, ran downfield and refused to high-five any of them when he went back into the huddle. You see, Brynner is not here to play games. If you’re going to be a goat in Bryn Renner’s presence, you’d better be a goat on all four legs goddammit.

The clip:

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It’s a lot of fun being an American sports fan, because we complain about pretty much everything there is to complain about, and when we finally get what we want, we complain even more. Case in point – the NCAA has given us a brand new College Football Playoff system, and with it four new logos to choose from. Fans have until Monday to vote on one of four proposed logos, and so far the consensus seems to be that they all flat out suck.

Now, those are random people’s words who may not exist and not mine. I think the logos are okay. Nah, who am I kidding? I’m the one who thinks all four options suck. I tried to make it seem like other people hate them, but I’m just speaking for me. There, it feels good to be honest.

But because I don’t like to crap all over something without offering my own alternative, I have actually made a College Football Playoff logo that the NCAA can add to the voting contest at no charge, except for the small fee that I’ve included after the jump.

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