Texas A&M quarterback and eventual Buffalo Bill Johnny Manziel found a winning formula with trainer George Whitfield last year, as the 20-year old became the first freshman to ever win the Heisman Trophy. Between his own success and that of his new best bro AJ McCarron, who led Alabama to another BCS Championship, there’s not a pair of camouflage cargo shorts in the country that isn’t filled with wonder as to whether Manziel can lead the Aggies all the way this year.

Well, courtside seats and night club VIP sections be damned, because Manziel and Whitfield are hard at work on an encore, as they’ve been battling the waves in Southern California this week as part of his intense workouts. Of course, it can’t be all work and no play, because that makes Johnny Football a dull boy. So the young slinger stopped by yesterday’s Padres-Nationals game at Petco Park, where he was able to meet fellow A&M alum and Nats manager Davey Johnson before taking in some batting practice.

Manziel homered, naturally, because he’s a f*cking winner, bro.

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In what continues to be my go-to feel-better story of the year, 7-year old Jack Hoffman is still riding the high of becoming the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ biggest star football player in the program’s long, storied history. (Obviously, I’ve crossed out the Bill Callahan era with a thick, black Magic Marker.) Jack, of course, is the young brain cancer patient who ran for a 69-yard touchdown during the team’s recent spring game, and that was followed up by Upper Deck creating his very own trading card.

Yesterday, Jack and his family got to visit the White House and meet with President Barack Obama for about 15 minutes to talk about the boy’s incredible spring.

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Quarterbacking is serious business, especially when you’re a junior in college. So when your teammates fall over like fainting goats to prank you because they think it’d be funny, you gotta SPIKE THAT BALL and RUN AWAY.

That’s what Bryn Renner did. Brynner. He became a reasonable level of enraged when his teammates tried to have fun, took off his helmet, ran downfield and refused to high-five any of them when he went back into the huddle. You see, Brynner is not here to play games. If you’re going to be a goat in Bryn Renner’s presence, you’d better be a goat on all four legs goddammit.

The clip:

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It’s a lot of fun being an American sports fan, because we complain about pretty much everything there is to complain about, and when we finally get what we want, we complain even more. Case in point – the NCAA has given us a brand new College Football Playoff system, and with it four new logos to choose from. Fans have until Monday to vote on one of four proposed logos, and so far the consensus seems to be that they all flat out suck.

Now, those are random people’s words who may not exist and not mine. I think the logos are okay. Nah, who am I kidding? I’m the one who thinks all four options suck. I tried to make it seem like other people hate them, but I’m just speaking for me. There, it feels good to be honest.

But because I don’t like to crap all over something without offering my own alternative, I have actually made a College Football Playoff logo that the NCAA can add to the voting contest at no charge, except for the small fee that I’ve included after the jump.

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Last week, we discussed Giancarlo Guida, the Auburn grad and former Tigers rugby player who had a massive tattoo of Toomer’s Corner inked on his back, as that was one diehard fan’s way of saying goodbye to those iconic oak trees that were so heinously murdered by Alabama fan Harvey Updyke, Jr. And as Updyke prepares for his upcoming jail stint, thousands of Auburn students, alumni and fans gathered on campus over the weekend to pay their final tributes and respects to the trees by “rolling” them one more time.

Basically, people toilet papered the hell out of the dead and dying branches, as had long been a school tradition. Now, though, it will likely be replaced by simply using the toilet paper for wiping butts. In fact, can we talk about that for a second? When I was in college, I had to lock up my toilet paper because it was more valuable than gold. Yet here are all of these people just throwing it around like it’s nothing. Perhaps it’s just the sign of different times, but in my day we wouldn’t have been so wasteful.

Sure, there’s also an absurd irony in decorating dead trees by wasting paper, but this is sports and people are idiots when it comes to college football. So celebrate with the Auburn fans on… Earth Day? Geez.

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South Carolina cornerback Victor Hampton posted the above image to his Instagram account, and in case you don’t get it, that’s a giant Clemson Tigers orange paw print that some dastardly rascal spray painted on the field. To make matters worse, the very same scoundrel also sprayed “Go Tigers” on one of the Cockabooses next to the field, and when I finished laughing at that word, I was just as outraged as every Tom, Dick and SWAGGY Steve on that gorgeous campus in Columbia.

Fortunately, I have watched a few episodes of CSI in my day, and I fancy myself a bit of a sleuth when it comes to matters of the prankish persuasion, and not only have I already solved this crime using my alter ego, Sheriff BRO, but I will reveal the perpetrator to the entire world right now.

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