I don’t know what my fascination is with Russia lately, but between dogs that fetch vodka, a billionaire’s wife, statues made of poop, Kate Upton doppelgangers and 23-year old models in bikinis running down the street, I am sold. Looks like we lost the Cold War, folks. Hell, even that fat guy in a Speedo can dance better than the dance instructor that he’s sort of mocking. It’s just a great week for Russians.

Alas, it’s a bad week for UFC fans, as we don’t have any child po… er, I mean mixed martial arts to watch. Sorry, I was channeling my inner Steve Hickey there. That guy loves talking about child pornography. So what shall we do instead? Well, I’m gonna go sit ringside at this Chikara event tomorrow night in Orlando, while you all can watch this stuff…

Read the rest of this entry »

Our beloved and glorious forefather Matt Ufford recently broke down Dennis Rodman and his recent visit to North Korea and the asinine interview that the NBA legend gave to talking bobblehead George Snuffleupagus upon his return. It’s a great read, so read it if you haven’t already.

Rodman’s a strange dude and he’s going to do strange things. He has no business talking about politics, so if you’re a dude with a news talk show and you think that you’re going to score imaginary journalism points by asking Rodman hard-hitting questions and humiliating a 51-year old professional DJ on TV, you’re wrong. You’re an a-hole and you’re wrong.

News talk shows are horrible and they’re destroying the world by making people dumber. I have nothing else to add.

Read the rest of this entry »

Look at these two hockey bros. They’re everything that’s wrong with men today. They have a clear, open opportunity to beat each other’s faces into the cold, hard ice and they just spin around in circles like a couple of toothless dreidels. Their teammates should have just surrounded them and started snapping and hissing before they all broke out into song.

Whatever, this won’t ever happen in my new sport, Fight Ball. It’s like hockey but with no ice, sticks, pucks, clocks, referees, goals or gloves. It’s actually just two teams of five men fighting until only one person is left standing. That dude’s team wins. Oh, but then he gets fed to a shark. Anyway, tryouts are next week.

Read the rest of this entry »

I want to be very clear about something – I do not condone the use of marijuana for recreational purposes. However, when it comes to wearing clothes that depict marijuana, I’m a huge fan. After all, nothing says, “I’m ready for that job, Mr. Corporate Executive” like wearing a “Space Nug T-Shirt”, which you can purchase for yourself and/or a loved one for just $39.99.

I always say that you dress for the job you want, so if you want to be an interplanetary drug dealer, this is the shirt that will turn heads and make intergalactic drug kingpins notice you. Live your dream today or cry about it tomorrow.

Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday, we mentioned that Adidas was teasing NCAA men’s basketball fans on Twitter with small glimpses of some special new Adizero uniforms that eight teams would be wearing in the NCAA Tournament this year. Today, as you can see above, we know exactly what those uniforms now look like, as six teams’ new duds have been revealed.

Scrolling through Twitter, people are pretty torn on these strange camouflage and sleeved revelations, and I have to say that I’m firmly entrenched in the “The f*ck? Eh, whatever” camp. Short of setting players on fire, I don’t see what the big deal is with Adidas trying something new, even if the new unis look like someone raided a child’s Zubaz rack at Marshall’s.

I guess if I had to scorn any of these uniforms, I’d choose the Kansas and UCLA gear, because I feel like both of those programs have always had classic looks. At the same time, though, I think the Baylor uniform looks awesome. So it is what it is, I guess. I just think the real shame is not making Duke players wear pink jerseys with flashy sequins and shoes filled with broken glass. Let’s get to work on making that happen, Nike.

Last month, Adidas made basketball fans everywhere do a double take with a “What the what?” added for good measure, when it was announced that the Golden State Warriors would be wearing new alternate jerseys with sleeves. An act of outright blasphemy, with approval from only Darren Rovell, the jerseys were largely panned well before they even made their debut last week.

I did, however, argue that they might look kind of cool for the average fan to wear, because there’s really not much worse than a grown adult wearing a tank top in public. As our friend Trey Kerby at The Basketball Jones was able to investigate himself – because Adidas sends him free stuff, and yet my mailbox is empty – they do look all right if you get past the absurd length.

And this is important, why? Because Adidas is bringing the sleeves to the NCAA Tournament.

Read the rest of this entry »