This video (courtesy of That NBA Lottery Pick) is one of the least exciting we’ve ever posted, but it’s newsworthy because LeBron James read Young Adult super-novel The Hunger Games before Sunday’s Heat-Pacers Game Four in Indianapolis, dropped 40 points and evened the series at two games apiece. It’s the best remedial reading basketball performance since Vlade Divac cried his way through Island Of The Blue Dolphins and won gold at the ’89 European Championships.

Knowing what we know about LeBron, it makes sense that nothing would pump him up like stories of children being forced to murder each other. I also hope he’s illiterate and the book is just a bunch of pictures of Jennifer Lawrence with a bow and arrow. Regardless (and as tired a point to make as it is), you can only come down so much on a popular sports role model for reading an actual book on camera. I’m gonna guess Alex Rodriguez hasn’t read printed text since he was ten.

I want LeBron to make reading cool again. I also want to see it get to the point where he’s filmed reading Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye before a game and spends the first three quarters just lying in the middle of the court.

Two questions and their appropriate answers –

Q: If a man dresses in enormous footie pajamas, can he still dunk?
A: Yes.

Q: If he calls his baby onesie a “swagger suit”, does that make it cool?
A: LOL

Here we see Milwaukee Bucks forward and University of Washington alum Jon Brockman having a lonely fashion show in a “Swagga Suit” for Washington student company “SWAG”. To commemorate the event, Brockman is changing his name to Swagger S. McSwaggerson, middle name Swagger, because a 6-foot-7 white guy in the Washington state dunking by himself in purple long-johns that make him look like he’s cosplaying Tinky Winky is the official f**king chilled death of the word “swagger”, and for safety reasons Jon is now the only man allowed to say or think it.

Seriously, swagger has become an epidemic, and much in the way that my generation turned “awesome” into a synonym for “okay”, people today have turned swagger into a synonym for “walking upright and maintaining consciousness”. If this is swagger in any definition, I would like to remain swaggerless for the rest of my life.

Two more pictures of this abomination are after the jump.

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A for effort, but it doesn't make much sense.

Dwyane Wade was pissed that the Indiana Pacers were celebrating their Game 2 win in Miami earlier this week, and he was pissed that the refs weren’t calling fouls the way he’d prefer. So when most people expected him to respond with a Dwyane Wade game in Indiana last night, he shocked everyone when he barely showed up with a Harold Miner game. Wade scored 5 whole points as the Pacers trounced the Heat 94-75, and the “haters”, I believe, are throwing a parade in every major city this morning.

It’s just one game, and unless the Heat lose the next one, I think it’s safe to say the notion of the Heat being in panic mode is a bit silly and premature. But for at least one night, the people who have begged and prayed for the Heat to lose were celebrating their butts off on Twitter. And my favorite Tweet, which I assume was meant to mock all of the people Tweeting incredibly nasty comments at Wade and the Heat, came from Wade’s girlfriend, Gabrielle Union.

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"Wait, am I the elbower or the elbowee?"

By now, we should be over the fact that in a moment of testosterone- and adrenaline-fueled celebration, a professional athlete was careless and violently elbowed another player in the head. But since that athlete is Metta World Peace, AKA Ron Artest, we’ll never be over it, because WHEN IS HE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN???

Alas, we also can’t be over it when the original victim has now become the hunter. During the first quarter of last night’s incredibly-exciting-despite-the-score 77-75 win over the Los Angeles Lakers, Oklahoma City Thunder guard and NBA 6th Man of the Year James Harden got a little revenge on World Peace when he crossed him up and jabbed him in the cheek with his elbow.

Responded World Peace, “IRONY!”

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In the most embarrassing moment to happen to him since he tried to teach Jesse Katsopolis how to play basketball, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was scolded by ‘Jeopardy!’ host Alex Trebek for asking “What is X” when the question we were looking for was “what is G, you old creep”. Apparently Jeopardy is a family show, and “what is the back of Linda Lovelace’s throat” has never been an answer. Who knew?

You can check out video of the moment below, and don’t worry, it wasn’t shot on 8 MM film.

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"Hey you kids, get off my damn lawn!"

With less than 10 minutes to play in the 4th quarter of last night’s Game 2 matchup between the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers, Dwyane Wade got a little pissed. Pacers guard Dahntay Jones seemingly went up-and-down on Wade (I knew a girl in college who mastered that) but the Heat star wasn’t too pleased that the refs didn’t call a foul. So he stood there and let the Pacers score.

As Mario Chalmers brought the ball back down, the Pacers forced a turnover and Wade was pretty much fed up. He sprinted after Darren Collison and jacked him in the back for a flagrant-1 and the title of the Dirtiest Player Not Named Metta World Peace. The Pacers went on to win Game 2 78-75, impossibly stealing one on the road, and they celebrated as such.

Just another thing that pissed Wade off.

“I heard they wanted to be like the Dallas Mavericks, in a sense,” Wade said. “I saw their little celebration at the end of (Game 2). I don’t know if they didn’t expect to win, but every night we go out on the court, we expect to win.” [...] “They say their identity, they say they want to be like Dallas,” Wade said. “So they celebrated like Dallas, I guess.” (Via Slam Online)

I understand that the guy’s going to be a little ticked when he feels like things didn’t go his way, even if he did, you know, miss a chance to swing the final score in his team’s favor. But whereas LeBron James never felt comfortable with the role of a villain, it seems like Wade has just fully embraced it and added, “F*ck it, we’re turning this up to 11.”

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