The NBA is back.
That statement inspires one of two feelings inside you. The first is a swell of hope and a flood of memories from 65 years of America’s greatest team sport. The second, most succinctly summed up as “meh”, only allows you to enjoy basketball when jumping online to tell a bunch of strangers on the Internet how little of a sh*t you give about basketball being back. More than football, more than wonderful old boring baseball, pro basketball (especially now, especially after all that) divides us right down the middle, leaving us cheering with tears in our eyes or dismissing with a wanking motion.
To illustrate this point, see Exhibit A: TNT’s NBA Opening Day montage. Michael Jordan is giving respeck knuckles to Derrick Rose. Wilt Chamberlain is slapping Dwight Howard on the ass. Magic is no-look f**king passing to Kobe Bryant. It should give you goosebumps. If it doesn’t, please consult the second video, wherein a drunk guy in a Santa suit gets great tickets to an opening day game and uses his time to yell WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM SANTA, A RING to LeBron James while he shoots free throws.