Dwight Howard must either be working for the CIA, or have a baker’s dozen of stripper skeletons in his closet, because the Orlando Magic center is filing a lawsuit against his baby momma, Royce Reed, to the tune of $500,500,000 for leaking information to the media. Obviously, Ms. Reed has the money lying around somewhere. Now, the $500 million dollar question is whether he’ll want this money through check, money order, or wheelbarrow.

TMZ has obtained legal docs filed by the Orlando Magic star in Orange County, Florida, in which he claims his baby mama Royce Reed — who stars on VH1′s “Basketball Wives” — leaked dirt about him to the media at least 11 times … thus violating a 2009 gag order.

In the docs, Howard explains that if the leaked stories reached 1,000,000 people — a safe estimate given that the stories were posted all over the Internet — the damages should add up to $500,500,000 based on the terms of their previous agreement. –TMZ Sports

Although Khloe Kardashian will not be on Basketball Wives, I still have an insatiable urge for bacon. On her cast description, Royce claims that, in the future, she wants to start “pursuing her acting career, finding a new man, and mixing with the rest of the basketball wives. Her hardest task with the other wives will be debunking the negative stereotype that the wives have against team dancers” (–VH1) I can only imagine how she’ll debunk any stereotypes against basketball dancers, considering she has a child out of wedlock with a basketball player, using that “fame” to get a spot on a VH1 reality show. That doesn’t make her look like a pom-pom waving, no good hussy at all.

If you’re anyone who’s anyone, then you’ve been waiting with bated breath to see where Creighton alum and D-League superstar Anthony Tolliver will be taking his talents next season. Lucky for you, Anthony revealed his choice to join the Minnesota Timberwolves via minute-long Youtube special.

After watching “The Decision: Part Duex,” David Kahn immediately fell to his knees in jubilation, and prepped all of his Al Jefferson memorabilia for burning. “O sweet baby Jesus thank ya, thank ya, thank ya!” He said, with an incredibly high voice, his spaghetti arms flailing like Olive Oyl during orgasm. “We gon win some games, mmm mmm boy howdy, we gon win some games!” You can find the video, which is actually pretty funny, after the jump. It’s especially enjoyable if you like low-quality SportsCenter music. Read the rest of this entry »

Jim Rome has made a career out of pissing off athletes, so it should come as no surprise that he helped himself to a large glass of haterade when discussing the career of Shaquille O’Neal. Rome said that the Shaqtus wasn’t as dedicated to the game as Kobe, and encouraged the Celtics not to sign the man behind Kazaam. Shaq certainly seemed to feel that those were fightin’ words, and needed to vent his frustrations to three million people via the internet. Suffice to say, we’ve got a good ol’ fashioned Twitter war on our hands.

When TV host Jim Rome criticized O’Neal’s career, said he wasn’t as dedicated as Kobe and warned the Celtics not to sign him, O’Neal picked the biggest club he had to retaliate — Twitter.

Among the things he said to his three million followers at The Real Shaq:

Those that dnt respect your hard work, its ok, make em respect u as a person.

If u wanna see shaq box jim rome live on espn. I do if he wins ill donate my salary to a charity of his choice

And forget the back and forth jim rome, I challenge u to a boxing match, live at espn studios, show the world if u can bak up the tuff talk

Jim rome, I am happy with my career and the legacy that I have left behind, obviously u r not happy wit yur legacy I 4got u have no legacy about –USA Today

Read the rest of this entry »

Remember yesterday when Zyrdunas Ilgauskas wrote a letter to the city of Cleveland, thanking them for everything they’ve done? Remember how classy of a move it was, and how he actually treated the city with respect and dignity? Well, LeBron James doesn’t. He wrote a letter of his own, but I think he got the address wrong. Instead of sending it to Cleveland, he sent it to Akron.

“For all my life, I have lived in Akron, and for that, I am truly a lucky man,” the letter read. “It was here where I first learned how to play basketball, and where I met the people who would become my lifelong friends and mentors. Their guidance, encouragement, and support will always be with me.”

“Akron is my home, and the central focus of my life. It’s where I started, and it’s where I will always come back to. You can be sure that I will continue to do everything I can for this city, which is so important to my family and me. Thank you for your support…you mean everything to me.”–USA Today

Akron was your home, Bron, now it’s Miami. Why didn’t you just thank Cleveland? You don’t have to mean it, but by just thanking the people who did appreciate you, even after you left, you become the bigger man. But far be it from anyone to expect you to actually be mature for once in your life. That’s as ridiclious as not getting your brakes checked at Midas! A joke which is explained after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone’s favorite fan-fighter, Ron Artest, took time out of his busy schedule of playing dodgeball and recording chart-topping singles to sit down for an interview with Ron Artest.

Ron Ron asks some pretty hard hitting questions like “which planet would you most like to go to?” Ron replies, “Pluto, because it’s the farthest and you could go ice skating on it.” Good job, scientists. Not only is Pluto a planet, which you said it wasn’t, but it also has water. Why don’t you redeem yourselves by getting Ron on the next space shuttle to Pluto? It’s the least you could do for wasting all of my tax dollars on going to the moon. It’s not even made out of green cheese or barbecue spare ribs. What a joke. Video after the jump.

ASYLUM POLL: Who is America’s favorite insane athlete?

Read the rest of this entry »

The biggest news in Cleveland this summer is obviously that their beloved large Lithuanian, Zydrunas Ilgauskas will be taking his talents to South Beach to join the Miami Heat. He’ll be playing along side some scrubs named Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade, and LeBron James, whoever they are. More importantly, Big Z decided not to burn any bridges in Northern Ohio by writing a letter to the people of Cleveland thanking them for their hospitality.

Big Z center ran an ad in Sunday’s Cleveland Plain Dealer thanking fans for fourteen years of support. LeBron James did not write a thank you letter..which he should of..so Big Z courteous act really makes LeBron look all the worse..but big Z isn’t an egomaniac like the self proclaimed King. –Terez Owens

Read the rest of this entry »