The Miami Heat’s victory parade began today at 11 a.m., regardless of how much Tropical Storm Debby wants to trickle all over Florida, but for most people it’s merely a continuation of a party that started last Thursday night after the Heat won the NBA Finals in 5 games. But if it does rain today, Heat fans, remember that white gloves shrink and are a bitch to dry clean.

Over the weekend, between a slew of stupid Dwight Howard rumors and pictures of cats wearing funny hats, I noticed a video in my Twitter feed that claimed to honor the “Only in Miami” mantra, so I figured it was probably two dudes wearing mesh shirts and smoking cigars beating each other with machetes. Instead, it was actually a really nice tribute to Miami’s culture, with the Heat’s championship – and the restaurant La Carreta – set as the backdrop to deliver a small-town feel.

Pour yourself an espresso and enjoy.

Read the rest of this entry »

Before the NBA Finals began, there was some talk about two adult film actresses who had pledged to perform oral sex on all of their combined Twitter followers if the Miami Heat won the championship. I didn’t bother looking to see who the two starlets were, because I knew that they weren’t Kayden Kross or Andy San Dimas, so it didn’t matter to me. I mean, I was at church and I don’t know who those girls are or… whatever, it’s Friday.

The actual ladies in question are Angelina Castro and Sara Jay (semi-NSFW) – pictured above in their own crudely photoshopped tribute to the Heat – and according to their Tweets from last night, drop yo pants, fellas. And bring some Purell.

Ew. Everything about this. Just, ew.

I’d love to see the guys who show up to this, though. Real winners in that crowd, I’d expect. Probably wearing Mike Miller jerseys.

But I’m not one to crap on honest-to-goodness sports fans, so congrats, Sara Jay and Angelina Castro! Congrats, Miami Heat fans! Congrats, LeBron James and Chris Bosh! And congrats Centers for Disease Control!

Read the rest of this entry »

Taiwan’s Next Media Animation asks the two most important questions about LeBron James and the Miami Heat’s 2012 NBA Championship victory:

1. Will LeBron win six more, so he can be better than Michael Jordan? And
2. Why were Jesus and God blatantly interfering in LeBron’s previous games?

Number two has a less obvious answer, but watching Jesus goaltend and God flatten LeBron like a bug for traveling driving the lane is fun to watch without having to know why. Other highlights include a pretty accurate depiction of the Oklahoma City Thunder standing around like bowling pins, Michael Jordan’s M. Bison laugh and Kevin Durant having lightning powers.

Video is below. Stick around until the end for maximum Carol.

Read the rest of this entry »

Someone sent me the above image of LMFAO “performing” during timeouts at Game 5 of the NBA Finals last night, and all I could think was: “This is Miami in a nutshell.” It’s overindulgence at its finest. I mean, they were celebrating during the game. But it doesn’t matter now, because the Miami Heat are the NBA Champions and LeBron James and Chris Bosh finally have their vindication (of sorts).

I bring no ill will today, as the Heat earned this title, and I predicted it would happen before the season, so I’ll just sit here and be glad that for once in my insignificant life, I was right about something. But I can’t help but share the video showing how James, Bosh, and Dwyane Wade celebrated their title – presumably before they rolled around on mountains of cash with naked models.

I present to you: LeBron James, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade rapping with LMFAO, or the most Miami Heat thing you’ll ever see.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: This GIF is also very Miami Heat.

Read the rest of this entry »

I apologize in advance for all the “crazy reaction to LeBron winning a championship!” and crying children videos we’re probably going to share today. It’s the only thing happening. Bud Selig could be assassinated by Jose Canseco and my inbox would still be full of, “check out Erik Spoelstra Gatorade bath autotune remix”.

Anyway, my favorite of these so far is Cleveland’s News Channel 5 Chief Meteorologist Mark Johnson absolutely losing his shit because “heat” and “thunder” are weather terms he can’t escape. If you’re worried about people jumping on the “I always wanted LeBron to have a ring” bandwagon, this guy’s Network moment will ease your mind. THESE CHAMPIONSHIP WINS ARE DIRTY AS HELL, AND HE’S NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I feel your pain, Mark. I really do. Video is after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Really? That’s it? I expected so much more from you.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

A Q&A with ‘Wilfred’ Star Fiona Gubelmann |Warming Glow|

25 Rappers & Their TV Show Counterparts |Smoking Section|

10 Notable Instances Of The ‘My Name Is X And I’m Here To Say’ Rap Gimmick |UPROXX|

The Dugout: A Pussy Move |With Leather|

Taken 2 trailer promises even more growling and shooting |Film Drunk|

Negotiation’s Over. The ‘Judge Dredd’ Trailer Is Here. |Gamma Squad|

Steve Martin’s Very Personal Letter To A Young Judd Apatow |UPROXX|

Watch A Semi-Naked Mischa Barton Run Around Semi-Nakedly In The New Noel Gallagher Video |UPROXX|

7 Reasons Why It’s Perfectly Acceptable To Hate Every Single Miami Heat Fan |Smoking Section|

This Week in Posters: Remakes and Remakes and Transformers 4 |Film Drunk|

Forbes’ Top 10 Highest Paid Athletes Is A Real Likable Bunch |With Leather|

So, How Does Stan Lee Play as a Video Game Character? |Gamma Squad|

The 5 Best (Hottest) Choices to Replace Ann Curry as Co-Anchor on the ‘Today’ Show |Warming Glow|

Read the rest of this entry »