I’m still planning to wait until tomorrow to unleash my incredible, unparalleled NBA Draft Preview on your asses, but I’m pretty happy that the Houston Rockets have finally stirred the pot and created some excitement for us fans of franchises that blow. Apparently the Rockets are hellbent on wrangling as many first round draft picks as they can, and they took one step closer to fruition of their diabolical plan today when they shipped Chase Budinger to the Minnesota Timberwolves for the No. 18 pick.

This was perhaps the best response I saw regarding that trade.

Now the Rockets have the 14th, 16th, and 18th picks in Thursday night’s draft, and it’s no secret at all that they covet disgruntled drama queen Dwight Howard, who may or may not have once again told the Orlando Magic that he wants to be traded to the Brooklyn Nets. So are those three picks enough to get Howard?

Houston’s first-round assets will create an intriguing proposition for the Magic and their new general manager, Rob Hennigan. Just a week into his job, Hennigan will be faced with his first major player-personnel decision.

The Magic have maintained they don’t want to go through another season like they just did, when the drama surrounding Howard and his future dominated Orlando’s every move. Multiple first-round picks might be the enticing offer Orlando needs to break free from Howard. (Via USA Today)

It should be noted that aside from a few rumblings about “sources close to Howard”, Howard is still recovering from back surgery and hasn’t talked to anybody about his future since the Stan Van Gundy mess, when he had TMZ on speed dial. In fact, as far as anyone knows, Howard hasn’t even had contact with new Magic GM Rob Hennigan yet.

But while the Miami Heat celebrate and Anthony Davis trademarks his eyebrows in time to be called by the New Orleans Hornets, all we’ve got are rumors. So let’s entertain this one a little further…

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Friend of the site and Best And Worst Of WWE Raw report filler-inner Chris Trew does a lot of things with his spare time — co-hosting live Raw watch parties with me, touring the country with stand-up comedy, birthing improv theaters across the southern United States and emceeing the Air Sex World Championships among them — but he’s at his best when he’s enthusiastically conversing with strangers.

That’s what makes this video so enjoyable … Trew showed up at a Hornets Draft Lottery Party at Mannings in New Orleans to interview fans of varying optimism about what they’d do if the team did or didn’t get the first pick in the draft. Highlights include a guy in a Daniel Bryan shirt who wants to loot beer, a guy straight out of Slacker who wants to start his own mini-pizza franchise and a guy who is gonna have a nice day and a pleasant dinner no matter what happens.

As we know now, David Stern worked his magic and the Hornets drafted Anthony Davis and his magnificent brow, so the clip has a happy ending. See? Trew’s a good luck charm. Maybe he’ll end up owning 3.27% of the team after all.

Fewer things were easier to make fun of during the NCAA Tournament than Kentucky Wildcats center Anthony Davis and his incredible unibrow. But while it may seem mean to pick on a kid and his extra misplaced facial hair, it’s important to remember that in just over a month he’ll be a millionaire, as if he wasn’t already better than the people making fun of him. For instance, I suck at basketball but do not have a unibrow, and that does not make us even.

Comedian Joe Mande, though, is not done pointing out the hilarity of Davis’ unibrow, as he recently whipped up some photoshops of the next Tim Duncan as Frida Kahlo paintings. If you’re unfamiliar, Kahlo is the artist who was portrayed by Salma Hayek in the film Frida.

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I spent my weekend watching Minor League Baseball and attending an independently-promoted women’s professional wrestling tournament, and since those are the two things I love nobody else in the world wants to read about, here are links to other things.

Sports

The Greatest Atrocity in the History of Sport - If you didn’t read Punte’s piece about BMX and Raisin Bran from last week, you’re missing out on one of the best things I’ve seen since I got here. In a perfect world, we’ll be doing stuff like this more often. Support it! [With Leather]

10 Things I Learned From Watching the NBA Draft - And don’t forget Burnsy, who manages to produce something like this every week and blow me out of the water. Also, my review of watching the NBA draft would just be a multi-pager with “uhhhhh” and a picture of David Stern on every page. [With Leather]

Ron Artest = Metta World Peace - It became a tired old Internet thing to mention before it even became news, but in case you need to know what the jokes are about, read the Smoking Section’s take on Ron Artest and his humorous name change. Changing With Leather’s name to “Beta Blog Read”, brb. [Smoking Section]

Everything’s Bigger in Texas - Kissing Suzy Call-ber (© TH of The Wrestling Podcast) is on vacation, so listen to the House of Punte podcast in five minute intervals for the remainder of the week. [KSK]

Not Sports

Bieber’s Kelly Kapowski Shirt: The Domino Effect - I feel pretty sad to live in a world where a Canadian teenager can wear a shirt and change it, but I’m happy to live in a world where people wear Kelly Kapowski t-shirts. Technically shouldn’t a “Kelly Kapowski t-shirt” be a bra with a floral print? [Uproxx]

Every Opening Quote from ‘The Wire’ in Under 3 Minutes - Create your own The Wire opening quote! Here are a few examples: “Things we do? We just do ‘em.” – Bird. “How’m I spose’d t’open this can without a can opener?” – Lester. “Go Fish a game of chance, yo.” – Omar. [Warming Glow]

Battle of the Kirks - William Shatner was too awesome and handsome to’ve devolved into the wierd Center of Attention Shrek he’s become. However, I will support any television show that gets Avery Brooks TV time. [Gamma Squad]

Twilight Are Book Now? - It’s hard to believe people like this exist, and also extremely easy. Create your own Twilight quote! “I die in the light… but without you, I never would have found the darkness.” Ha, somewhere that hoggish British lady is bursting into tears. [Film Drunk]

It’s finally over, friends. Possibly one of the worst, if not the worst, NBA Drafts in recent memory. The Cleveland Cavaliers ended weeks of speculation that they would either make Duke’s Kyrie Irving the No. 1 pick in this year’s draft or they would keep pretending like they were going to take Derrick Williams by selecting Irving. Meanwhile, the Minnesota Timberwolves managed to screw up the incredibly simple task of trading the No. 2 pick of Williams, a player they don’t need, for assets they do need and future picks. And there were plenty of trades that made little sense, European players we’ve never heard of, jackass fans booing every single pick, and a second round full of guys we will never hear from again. Ah yes, the glorious NBA Draft.

Now I’m no expert by any means, and I’m often wrong when it comes to projections and theories. But I have become quite a big NBA fan over the past few seasons, so I’m learning. And I think that this draft was an exceptional learning tool for the fan like me, learning to love a sport that has never been kind in parity, while also being completely aware that the league is locking out in 6 days. So I had some thought while watching this draft and I thought that I might share them. What can I say? I’m a generous lover.

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Duke freshman point guard Kyrie Irving will enter the NBA Draft, according to his Twitter feed. That seems insane, especially since (a) Duke players almost always stay for four years under coach Mike Krzyzewski, and (b) there almost certainly will be labor uncertainty this offseason, comparable to what the NFL is experiencing right now. Surely

“Our whole program is overjoyed with having Kyrie here for one year and that he has the chance now to pursue a dream of being a high draft pick and a great player in the NBA,” said Krzyzewski.

–(school website)

Let’s not overdo it, Coach K. Some have Irving going No. 1 overall, and not even three more years at Duke would improve on that. Hey, it’s either get paid for not playing or not get paid for playing. It’s a no-brainer, really.