GameOn found the latest–and almost certainly last–annual piece from the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society Of Gentlemen. One can expect this video to hold up as the SASHSG swan song, as Smith’s contract was not renewed by ESPN. The video features an unflattering sock puppet in almost a sort of “Triumph the insult comic dog” vein; we see “Stephen A.” renegotiate his contract on an iPhone, try to score an interview with the draft picks, and capping it off with an ode to cheese doodles.

But really this post is just an excuse for me to point out that the reason Stephen A. Smith thinks his contract isn’t being renewed–because the black community didn’t lend him enough support. Oh, I didn’t realize Stephen A’s show was broadcasting live from a Birmingham lunch counter in 1958. And that’s just a callous way of asking, “Why would they?”

NESW Sports found this video of Zeke, whose raw skills didn’t seem to have enough polish for the pro game. He has good hand speed and can finish above the rim, but he lacks mobility and seems a bit turnover-prone. One can only hope that Zeke finds his way into a team’s training camp and impresses the coaching staff enough to lock down a short year deal. I’d hate to see this dog have to waste a year of his career in Europe. Or worse, Ohio State.

College kids, as they are wont to do, create drinking games based on events they watch as a collective. It's a way to make some fun out of all the drinking they're doing anyway. In the case of the NBA Draft, a few have sprung up seizing on Jay Bilas' frequent describing players as "long" or having "upside". The ESPN analyst has caught wind of such games and enforced a self-imposed moratorium on using the trigger words. Because he's a dick.

I am aware of the drinking games that are based upon the use of such terms, and I did my level best to reduce binge drinking across the country. We all have to do what we can. Instead of "long," I used the terms "length," "stretch," "elongated," "extend" and the ever-popular "considerable linear extent in space." With one player, I stated that his arms "extend beyond normal or moderate limits."

Whaddayaknow? Someone who went to Duke is an uptight cockcramp. Also, people who use the idiom "level best" in conversation are only able to do so because they've tightened their sphincter to an airlock that would rival a space shuttle. Most drinking games based around television broadcasts have a wide range of things that require the viewer to drink. Seldom are they based on one talking head's commentary. So while Bilas may have stopped someone from having eight beers as opposed to, say, having nine, him getting drunker and drunker on his own sanctimony is an addiction to goes unchecked.