Fewer things were easier to make fun of during the NCAA Tournament than Kentucky Wildcats center Anthony Davis and his incredible unibrow. But while it may seem mean to pick on a kid and his extra misplaced facial hair, it’s important to remember that in just over a month he’ll be a millionaire, as if he wasn’t already better than the people making fun of him. For instance, I suck at basketball but do not have a unibrow, and that does not make us even.

Comedian Joe Mande, though, is not done pointing out the hilarity of Davis’ unibrow, as he recently whipped up some photoshops of the next Tim Duncan as Frida Kahlo paintings. If you’re unfamiliar, Kahlo is the artist who was portrayed by Salma Hayek in the film Frida.

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I spent my weekend watching Minor League Baseball and attending an independently-promoted women’s professional wrestling tournament, and since those are the two things I love nobody else in the world wants to read about, here are links to other things.

Sports

The Greatest Atrocity in the History of Sport - If you didn’t read Punte’s piece about BMX and Raisin Bran from last week, you’re missing out on one of the best things I’ve seen since I got here. In a perfect world, we’ll be doing stuff like this more often. Support it! [With Leather]

10 Things I Learned From Watching the NBA Draft - And don’t forget Burnsy, who manages to produce something like this every week and blow me out of the water. Also, my review of watching the NBA draft would just be a multi-pager with “uhhhhh” and a picture of David Stern on every page. [With Leather]

Ron Artest = Metta World Peace - It became a tired old Internet thing to mention before it even became news, but in case you need to know what the jokes are about, read the Smoking Section’s take on Ron Artest and his humorous name change. Changing With Leather’s name to “Beta Blog Read”, brb. [Smoking Section]

Everything’s Bigger in Texas - Kissing Suzy Call-ber (© TH of The Wrestling Podcast) is on vacation, so listen to the House of Punte podcast in five minute intervals for the remainder of the week. [KSK]

Not Sports

Bieber’s Kelly Kapowski Shirt: The Domino Effect - I feel pretty sad to live in a world where a Canadian teenager can wear a shirt and change it, but I’m happy to live in a world where people wear Kelly Kapowski t-shirts. Technically shouldn’t a “Kelly Kapowski t-shirt” be a bra with a floral print? [Uproxx]

Every Opening Quote from ‘The Wire’ in Under 3 Minutes - Create your own The Wire opening quote! Here are a few examples: “Things we do? We just do ‘em.” – Bird. “How’m I spose’d t’open this can without a can opener?” – Lester. “Go Fish a game of chance, yo.” – Omar. [Warming Glow]

Battle of the Kirks - William Shatner was too awesome and handsome to’ve devolved into the wierd Center of Attention Shrek he’s become. However, I will support any television show that gets Avery Brooks TV time. [Gamma Squad]

Twilight Are Book Now? - It’s hard to believe people like this exist, and also extremely easy. Create your own Twilight quote! “I die in the light… but without you, I never would have found the darkness.” Ha, somewhere that hoggish British lady is bursting into tears. [Film Drunk]

It’s finally over, friends. Possibly one of the worst, if not the worst, NBA Drafts in recent memory. The Cleveland Cavaliers ended weeks of speculation that they would either make Duke’s Kyrie Irving the No. 1 pick in this year’s draft or they would keep pretending like they were going to take Derrick Williams by selecting Irving. Meanwhile, the Minnesota Timberwolves managed to screw up the incredibly simple task of trading the No. 2 pick of Williams, a player they don’t need, for assets they do need and future picks. And there were plenty of trades that made little sense, European players we’ve never heard of, jackass fans booing every single pick, and a second round full of guys we will never hear from again. Ah yes, the glorious NBA Draft.

Now I’m no expert by any means, and I’m often wrong when it comes to projections and theories. But I have become quite a big NBA fan over the past few seasons, so I’m learning. And I think that this draft was an exceptional learning tool for the fan like me, learning to love a sport that has never been kind in parity, while also being completely aware that the league is locking out in 6 days. So I had some thought while watching this draft and I thought that I might share them. What can I say? I’m a generous lover.

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Duke freshman point guard Kyrie Irving will enter the NBA Draft, according to his Twitter feed. That seems insane, especially since (a) Duke players almost always stay for four years under coach Mike Krzyzewski, and (b) there almost certainly will be labor uncertainty this offseason, comparable to what the NFL is experiencing right now. Surely

“Our whole program is overjoyed with having Kyrie here for one year and that he has the chance now to pursue a dream of being a high draft pick and a great player in the NBA,” said Krzyzewski.

–(school website)

Let’s not overdo it, Coach K. Some have Irving going No. 1 overall, and not even three more years at Duke would improve on that. Hey, it’s either get paid for not playing or not get paid for playing. It’s a no-brainer, really.

If there’s one thing I love, it’s nonsensical rankings for my own personal enjoyment. Let’s get to it.

1) Cats in Space – Ufford recounts the history of interstellar felines. It’s chock full of cats photoshopped as astronauts; humor that transcends race, gender, or religion. Suck it, Laser Cats.

When not brining stupid rap video dances to the masses, John Wall has been known to play some basketball here and there. Wall is the consensus choice to be selected number one overall by the Washington Wizards in tonight’s NBA Draft, and I’m sure he’s plenty excited about that. John should also be excited about the shoe contract he signed with Reebok. The 25 million dollar over 5 year contract is more money than Wall can expect to make in his contract with the Wizards.

Reebok made an immense investment with the charismatic and explosive guard, believing that Wall can replace Allen Iverson(notes) as the brand’s superstar. Wall’s reps, Dan Fegan of Lagardere Unlimited and Brian Clifton of Pindar Enterprises, negotiated a rare two guaranteed signature shoes for Wall.

The deal exceeds what most industry insiders believed even Wall, a spectacular talent, could get in this marketplace. In the declining economy, shoe companies have become more judicious about handing out such big guaranteed deals to rookies. The No. 1 pick in the 2009 NBA draft, the Los Angeles Clippers’ Blake Griffin(notes), was reported to have signed for $400,000 annually with Nike. Milwaukee Bucks guard Brandon Jennings(notes) had a more lucrative deal with Under Armour that he signed out of high school, worth approximately $2 million over four years. Yahoo! via USAToday

John Wall is probably going to have some difficulty deciding what he, at such a young age, should do with that kind of money. Luckily, the good people at Disney have made a movie that could shed some light on what must be a sticky situation.

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