As we discussed yesterday, people were a bit perplexed when TNT NBA analyst Shaquille O’Neal was suddenly mentioned as a candidate for the vacant Orlando Magic GM position, because he’d spent the last decade completely pissing all over the franchise that drafted him No. 1 overall in 1992. Eventually, though, it made perfect sense when it was revealed that Shaq was being considered for the job because Shaq told everyone that, because he likes when everyone talks about him.

But Shaq tied up all the loose ends yesterday when he released a statement about how even though he told everyone he was interested in the Magic GM job, he wasn’t interested in the Magic GM job, adding: “I’m Shaq. Shaq Shaq Shaq.”

“When I first heard about the vacancy for the Orlando Magic general manager position, I was clearly intrigued. I was drafted by the Magic, I have a great love for the franchise, and I have made the city of Orlando my home. Additionally, I have great admiration and respect for the DeVos family. However, this is not a job I have an interest in pursuing. I feel very fortunate to be with TNT and to have the best job in sports. I look forward to many more years with Charles, Kenny and E.J. I wish the best for the Magic and I am confident that they will select a great GM and coach.” (Via Pro Basketball Talk)

The truth is, though, that Diesel’s schedule is just way too booked up right now. As you can see from the banner image – via The Superficial – Shaq is back to what he does best – making terrible movies. He’s currently filming the Happy Madison production Grown Ups 2, because all of the people who paid to see the first Grown Ups (my pick for Worst Film of 2010) said the same thing: “It was terrible, sure, but I feel like they could have made it worse.”

And because I’m in a retro flashback mood today, I’ve included a very important and relevant video after the jump.

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"Haha, I don't have an agent either!"

Never in a million years would I have ever thought I’d say, “Please, bring back Bow Wow.” But there I was last night, flipping through the channels during a timeout in the Miami Heat’s series-clinching victory over the Indiana Pacers, when I stumbled upon the film Like Mike 2: Streetball, as it aired on BET. I was 23 when the original Like Mike was in theaters, so it wasn’t exactly my type of film, and needless to say that a 2006 straight-to-DVD sequel wouldn’t be my cup of Sanka either.

But there it was, in all its glory – the rehashed, recycled and redonkulous sequel to the story of a kid who receives the magical ability to play basketball like Michael Jordan from a pair of dirty old sneakers hanging from a power line. This time, instead of Bow Wow’s Calvin Cambridge, the young hero is Jascha Washington’s Jerome, who is the son of a streetball legend and therefore wants to be the best as well. The only problem is he’s too young and small and clichéd.

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At least it isn’t “Kobe Maybe”. (via Terez Owens)

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This Week in Posters & Stills: Dark Knights Will Rise, Lizards Gonna Lizard |Film Drunk|

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New ‘Community’ Showrunners Already Being Mocked Viciously And Hilariously By A Fake Twitter Account |UPROXX|

The 10 Most Popular Shows of the Season Confirms Your Worst Fears |Warming Glow|

Lupe Fiasco’s Not Too Happy With Pete Rock Right Now |Smoking Section|

Nicole Kidman peed on Zac Efron in Lee Daniels’ new golden shower movie |Film Drunk|

10 Suggestions For ‘Backflips & Beatdowns 3′ |With Leather|

First Clip From ‘Total Recall’ Plus A TV Spot And Trigger Happy Pictures |Gamma Squad|

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Are you an international With Leather reader looking to learn a little English so you can have colloquial conversations with the locals about basketball? If so, would you feel more comfortable learning it from a cute Taiwanese lady and a Who Framed Roger Rabbit?-style living cartoon of badly-animated Taiwanese Jeremy Lin? If you answered yes to either of these questions, who the f**k are you and how do you exist?

Anyway, Taiwan’s Next Media Animation project Learn English conversation with Carol! is my new favorite web series. I enjoy the premise (especially if it ends with LeBron James lowering animated Lin into a vat of The Dip) and I like knowing there’s still a place in the world where people think Jeremy Lin is inspiring and great at basketball.

For your viewing pleasure, I present episodes one and two. In episode three, Carol issues Order 66 and the sh*t goes down.

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Have you heard the one about the superstar free agent center who left his team, citing myriad problems within the organization as well as his desire to leave behind a “small pond” market for stardom, and then spent the next decade constantly ripping that team at any chance he got for no good reason, ultimately focusing on its new superstar center, who admired and idolized him enough that he used the same nickname, with an inexplicable vitriol that was later passed off as “all in good fun”, eventually finding himself out of the media spotlight when his career ended, only to use that once-again-hurting franchise to make people talk about him, because, hey, what’s a river of bad blood beneath a burned bridge anyway?

*exhales*

Of course you haven’t, because it won’t happen. It can’t happen. Can it?

The Orlando Magic is set to meet with former star Shaquille O’Neal about the team’s vacant general manager position next week, ESPN reported Wednesday, citing sources.

O’Neal, who spent his first four NBA seasons in Orlando, would be an odd choice, given he has no front-office experience and has had a longstanding feud with Magic superstar Dwight Howard. (Via Fox Sports)

Yeah, about this… no. Not gonna happen, folks. You don’t “mutually agree” to let a guy who was terrible at his job walk away, only to bring in a guy who has not only never done that job come but has spent the length of Dwight Howard’s career criticizing him and calling him names. Because that would clearly make Howard stay.

On the other hand, it’s the Magic, so we should expect to hear the announcement any minute now. And he better make that panda his assistant GM.

Indiana Pacers reserve Lance Stephenson has made a name for himself twice in his NBA career. First, in 2010, he was arrested after shoving his girlfriend down a flight of stairs and then slamming her head against the bottom step as he left the home. While that’s hard to top, he reminded us that he still exists during Game 3 of the Eastern Conference semifinals, as he wrapped his hands around his throat to tell LeBron James what he thought of him.

As many people expected, Stephenson’s tactics had two results: 1) He caused James to explode for a combined 70 points in Games 4 and 5 to push the Heat to a 3-2 series lead, and B) The Heat’s role players were going head-hunting. Sure enough, Udonis Haslem and Dexter Pittman reminded the Pacers that they’re going to be disrespected underdogs for just a little bit longer.

First, Haslem laid a vicious hit on Tyler Hansbrough that earned the Heat big man a flagrant 1, but Pittman took the top prize with less than 20 seconds left in the game and a 27-point lead. Pittman could have just gone for an easy rebound, but he instead decided to rock Stephenson in the shoulder and neck with his elbow for a little, as the kids call it, how-do-you-do.

Needless to say, Pittman will likely be enjoying the rest of the playoffs from a couch, otherwise Metta World Peace might destroy a village.

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