After news broke that Syracuse and Pitt were leaving the Big East for the greener pastures of the ACC, it seemed like the Big East might need to make some big moves to remain relevant and especially maintain its BCS status. After all, the addition of TCU made it seem like there was nothing to worry about. Then TCU announced that it was not even going to bother with the Big East and join the Big 12 instead and Big East commissioner John Marinatto was seen feverishly Googling “seppuku.”

The departure of Pitt and Syracuse leaves the league with just 6 teams, so the Big East is now finally recognizing an urgency to add 6 schools and become a 12-team conference. Hold on to your zany foam hats, because they are doozies – UCF, ECU, Temple, Navy, Air Force, and maybe Boise State. And that’s assuming that none of the Big East’s other schools leave.

The issue lingering over the league’s future involves Missouri. If Missouri leaves the Big 12 for the Southeastern Conference, that would put Big East football in peril. The Big 12 would probably grab West Virginia or Louisville, or both, to replace Missouri. The Big 12 could also take one or both if Missouri stays. Big East officials say they will not wait for Missouri to decide, but no definitive timetable is in place.

(Via The New York Times)

With all of the other big news and rumors that have been circling the Big 12, SEC, ACC, Big 10 and PAC-However-Many-Schools-They-Have-Now, the Big East has been easy to ignore. But here’s a quick recap – nobody wants to join the Big East except for schools the other schools don’t want. For instance, USF has been trying hard to keep UCF out. Does anyone care about that? No. Hell, UCF is my alma mater and I don’t even care about it.

Ultimately, the Big East is going to lose West Virginia and probably Rutgers. If Louisville can get its act together and start winning again, it will probably leave as well. Best case scenario – and probably only case scenario – the Big East ransacks Conference USA and locates photos of NCAA President Mark Emmert in bed with a transgender donkey. That’s about the only thing that will save it.

UPDATE: My buddy Brandon Helwig at UCFSports.com Tweeted earlier that a rumored scenario is an East Division with UCF, USF, UConn, Rutgers, Temple and Navy, while a West Division would be WVU, Cincinnati, SMU, Louisville, Houston and Air Force.

The Mid-American Conference officiating crew at Thursday night's Poinsettia Bowl between Utah and Navy has admitted to making an error on a fourth-quarter play at the goal line. A Utah wide receiver fumbled the pigskin into the pylon in what should have been been a touchback for Navy, but the refs gave the ball to the Utes on the 1-yard-line and upheld the wrong call in a replay review.

"The ball was fumbled forward and hit the pylon. The pylon is out of bounds and also in the end zone," read an official statement from the officiating crew, citing Rule 8, Section 6, Article 1, Item 1 in the NCAA college football rule book. "There was a mistake made. It should have been ruled a touchback and the ball should have been placed at the 20-yard line."

Wow! What an exciting scandal, huh? It's a shame the result of this mistaken judgment could have only resulted in Utah still not covering the 8-point spread as I predicted they would. But at least I'll have an excuse when I show up at Christmas without gifts for the family. I guess I could donate some of my plasma for cash. So I can bet on the UCLA/BYU game later. -KD

Once again we've got another NFL game (Steelers-Rams) on Thursday night, and once again who gives a fuck.  Hey, NFL Network: I don't have you and can't get you.  And that would make you just like Scarlett Johansson if I actually wanted you.  Drop Gumbel in a wood chipper and maybe we'll talk.

That leaves the Fuck You, Corporate Sponsors Poinsettia Bowl between Utah and Navy on ESPN.  Or, as I like to call it, the Battle of Running Backs Overcoming Heartbreaking Adversity.  Yesterday, Deadspin highlighted the trials of the Utes' Darrell Mack (drug addict mom murdered with lug wrench, father in prison for life for murder, grandfather who raised him died last week, and he's dyslexic).  It's amazing that Mack has made it as far as he has, but let's not forget the story of Navy's slotback Zerbin Singleton:

Singleton… is on track to reach his ultimate goal of becoming an astronaut. He boasts a 3.1 grade-point average as an aerospace engineering major and last month was named Brigade Commander [leader of all students at the Academy] for the second semester.

Singleton was initially raised in Alaska by his mother, but was left an orphan at age 11 after she was sent to jail for a parole violation. He moved to Decatur, Ga., to live with cousins and did not meet his father until he was a senior in high school. One year later, after the two had begun to build a relationship, Singleton's father committed suicide.

…Singleton graduated Columbia High with honors and accepted an appointment to the Naval Academy [but] was involved in an accident with a drunk driver one week before he was scheduled to graduate as class valedictorian. Undeterred, Singleton spent a year at Georgia Tech then transferred to the academy and joined the football team as a walk-on. The 5-foot-8, 164-pounder has [rushed] for 478 yards and nine touchdowns, all but one of which have come in the last four games.

And his name is "Zerbin."  Tough break, buddy.

I get a kick out of the Army-Navy rivalry (which will be played in Baltimore this year instead of Philly).  It's a bunch of people who all chose to forego a totally awesome college experience so they could endure a year of hazing followed by three years of gradually less severe imprisonment.  Pretty much the only difference between them is that Navy gets to wear Summer Whites AKA the Good Humor Ice Cream Man Costume AKA the "faggoty white uniform," while Army cadets have a super-queer cape they wear in the winter.  The defining difference between the two is that at least at the Naval Academy, you have a better shot of becoming a Marine Corps officer.

Anyway, the video above is of some cadets stealing Navy's mascot, while Navy's response is after the jump. 

[Awful Announcing/Wizard of Odds]

p.s. For a moderately entertaining read, you can check out my experience at last year's Army-Navy game. 

Anchors Aweigh my boys! Navy finally broke their long losing streak to Notre Dame by defeating the Fightin' Irish 46-44 in triple overtime in South Bend.  

[ND coach Charlie] Weis said the 43-game winning streak had no meaning to him or the team.  "They're worried about here and now. These kids are 17. You think they're worrying about 43 years?" he said.

Of course a 43-game winning streak has no meaning for Weis' lads because they can't even comprehend winning more than 1 game a season.  Who do Irish sailors root for in this game?  That's a trick question, such men must devote all their concentration on remaining erect – they have no time for games.  And you can define 'erect' any way you want.

In other Catholic college football news, Boston College lost to Florida State 27-17, thus ending the Eagles hopes for an undefeated season.  What the heck does Christ do on Saturdays anyway?  I mean, I know he doesn't answer wager-related prayers, but one would think he'd at least help squads representing the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church smite their opponents.  Unless Roman Catholicism is not the one true faith?  Don't tell me I served all those years as an altar boy for nothing. -KD

This screen capture of this weekend's Navy-Rutgers game comes from the splendid TV Tan Line (via The Wizard of Odds).

Frankly, I was going to make fun of the highlighted gentleman for being a creepy cheerleader-stalking weirdo, but then I realized: creepy cheerleader-stalking weirdos are pretty much my entire target demographic.  So instead, I've decided to make fun of his goatee.  Hey everybody!  Check out that guy's prison pussy!

But seriously, readers: your creepy cheerleader-stalking efforts are no good if you keep them all to yourself.  Share the wealth.  Because if I don't get fresh creepy cheerleader pictures on a regular basis, do you know what happens?  The gay videos start taking over.  And no one wants that.  Well, except the gays.  But they don't buy ad space.