I don’t like quoting The National Enquirer as a reputable source, but when a story like this breaks you have to share it with everyone you know — according to the Enquirer, Joe McGinniss’ upcoming book Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin features claims and confirmation that the former governer and Vice Presidential nominee hooked up with three-time NBA All-Star Glen Rice circa 1987, when he was still in college and she was an Alaskan sports reporter. Glen Rice had sex with Sarah Palin. That is today’s actual sports news.

From the story:

In the book, which will be published on September 20th, McGinniss claims Sarah had a steamy interracial hookup with basketball stud Glen Rice less than a year before she eloped with her husband Todd.

Sarah hooked up with the NBA great, then a 6-foot-8 junior at the University of Michigan when he was playing in a college basketball tournament in Alaska in 1987, the book says. At the time, Sarah, just out of college, was working as a sports reporter for the Anchorage TV station KTUU.

A publishing source told The ENQUIRER that McGinniss claims Sarah had a “fetish” for black men at the time and he quotes a friend as saying Sarah had “hauled (Rice’s) ass down.”

I don’t even know what that means.

I guess the premarital sex is sacred unless you’ve got a chance to hook up with a basketball player. And despite a “fetish for black men at the time” (good job seeing black people as people and not things, Presidential Hopeful), Palin ended up marrying the whitest guy on the planet, and none of her brain damaged kids — and I’m talking about Bristol here, don’t get me wrong — get to paternally claim the stars of NBA Jam. Does Rony Seikaly know about any of this?

In case you’re ready to believe Sarah Palin when she goes on TV later and claims the story is an “out and out fabrication” perpetrated by some portmanteau word combining “media”, “liberal” and “spend-o-crat”, don’t … at least one of the people snuggling in that sleeping bag on a cold, mooseless night in 1980s Alaska is confirming the rumor.

In the book, McGinniss quotes Rice as confirming the one-night stand.

What’s next, are we gonna find out that Manute Bol nailed Michele Bachmann?

[h/t Deadspin]

O.J. Simpson has just confessed to the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. To quote our own Burnsy, “I’m so shocked that I can’t even make a fart noise.” In the never-before-seen alternate ending to 1995, Simpson confessed to a producer for Oprah Winfrey and is going to re-confess to Oprah herself in a televised interview. Are they going to tape it from inside of Al Capone’s vault? How did I get here? This is not my beautiful dead wife.

This is a huge story for anybody who lived through the American ’90s, although the breaking NESN report on the situation contains one little line that might ruin it all:

Several news outlets are citing the National Enquirer with breaking the news.

This is the same source that told me Satan’s face was in the 9/11 smoke, so I’m not going to get too excited about it until O.J. is in LeBron’s Decision Chair, sobbing to Oprah about how sorry he is for dimming the star of Ron Goldman, holding his face in his hands while wearing some ill-fitting Isotoners. Oh, and I forgot the best part.

Simpson claimed he stabbed Nicole in self-defense.

There you have it, everybody. O.J. did it, but only after his battered ex-wife tried to kill him first, in her own home, while technically still on a date with somebody else. Somewhere up in Heaven, Johnnie Cochran is flipping the hell out and flipping over tables.

Edit: Aaaaaaand we’re fake! A report from The Hollywood Reporter (about Hollywood) says the Enquirer name drop is bogus, and the best we can hope for now is one of those Blake Lively “we wanted to show you her boobs by accident, but not this soon” situations.

Despite a National Enquirer report that Simpson confessed from prison to murdering ex wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, a rep for Harpo tells The Hollywood Reporter, “That’s not true.”

Maybe O.J. is twittering from prison and will read all of this, and do the right thing (for money).