If you’re happy to see the Miami Heat lose game 1 of their East semis series against the Chicago Bulls, perhaps you’ll like to see the Heat portrayed as rusty Terminators while the Bulls mascot puts out the Miami logo fire by pissing on it. Taiwan Animation, everybody. Stick around for LeBron James drawn like Pitbull.

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Links

A Brief History Of Zooey Deschanel’s Musical Moments |UPROXX|

Bradley Cooper’s Häagen-Dazs Commercial Is Totally About Butts |Warming Glow|

A FilmDrunkard’s Encounter with Gary Busey |Film Drunk|

Conan’s Terrible Kentucky Derby Horse Names, Featuring Disturbing German Pornography |With Leather|

Pictures Of Emma Stone From The ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′ Set May Drop A Huge Spoiler |Gamma Squad|

5 Things in ‘Bioshock Infinite’ You Might’ve Missed |Smoking Section|

REMINDER: Peter King Was Worse Than Everyone At Predicting The Draft |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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You know the drill. Every Wednesday we collect four notable slam dunks from the last seven days of basketball and pit them against one another in the WEDNESDAY DUNK BATTLE. You watch the dunks, then scroll to the bottom and vote for your favorite. The winner is named the scientifically, democratically-decided Dunk Of The Week, which I assume wins them fame and prizes.

This week’s dunks:

1. Nick Young’s 360 dunk for the mild enjoyment of Sixers fans.
2. Pacific University’s awesomely-named Dustin Bowser catches a ball off the glass and sends his defender tumbling into a wall.
3. Kobe Bryant dunks on the Nets, but Kris Humphries is there, so we’ll just say he specifically dunked on Kris Humphries, because f**k Kris Humphries
4. Nate Robinson’s fast-forward dunk on the Bucks.

Please consult the following clips and make your decision below.

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With a 1.5 game lead over the Milwaukee Bucks for the 8th playoff spot in the East, it seems like the New York Knicks are in good position to at least make the playoffs. They’re still sitting at .500 (27-27) as they have been for most of the season, and even the energy of a new coach and system isn’t helping them get over the hump and back into serious contention, despite some analysts who have the Knicks pegged as a title contender hiding in the best spot possible. Because any team, regardless of talent level, really wants to play the No. 1 seed in the first round of the playoffs.

But over in China, an old Knick is proving that he had some gas left in the tank to get himself a championship. Stephon Marbury and the Beijing Ducks – mmmmmmmm, Beijing duck – are the new Chinese Basketball Association champions, after Starbury scored 41 points in Game 5 to oust the defending champions, Guangdong Hongyuan. Marbury also scored 52 points in Game 2 and 53 points in Game 3, so if you were wondering how the New York sports media would pass the time with Jeremy Lin out for the season… stop.

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I spent my weekend in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex (or whatever it’s called) enjoying a Cleveland Indians victory over the Texas Rangers (the only one we managed to get) and taking in a Double-A game at Dr. Pepper Ballpark between the Frisco Roughriders and the San Antonio Missions. I spent four hours of Sunday night driving from Frisco to Austin in the dark and am running on about three unsuccessful hours of sleep, so if today is nothing but links and typos, I apologize.

Sports

Nate Robinson Wants to Play NFL Football - Maybe he can get his own Disney-made movie, like Invincible. Also, not going to lie, whenever I see “Nate Robinson” I think it’s Peter Parker’s black friend from the Daily Bugle. [Smoking Section]

Dana White Issues First Ever “Thank You For Getting Those Trunks Off TV As Soon As Possible” Bonus - I didn’t think they were so bad. Then again, I watch pro wrestling, the only place you get a bonus for wearing weird crotch-grabbing sh**. [Cage Potato]

Destroying Something Beautiful: The Disappointing Comerica Park Field Stormer - Will never understand people who run onto the field, especially the ones who run out there and don’t do anything. If you’re gonna run onto the field, buy a wedding dress or prepare to get tazed or SOMETHING. [Josh's Website]

Even Peter King’s Typos Are Lofty - Yes, “lofty” is a good word to describe Peter King. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

With Leather

The Incredible History of The Muppets, Sesame Street, and Our Favorite Athletes - In a better world, this would be our most popular feature of all time. When you’re done with this, go read the Top 50 Muppets list we did at Progressive Boink. [With Leather]

Melina Splits: WWE Cleaning House - I wanted to do a Best and Worst of TNA Hardcore Justice for today, but there’s no way I’m spending three hours on Rob Van Dam this morning. Instead, go read about how sad we are all for Chris Masters. [With Leather]

The CrossFit Games - We’re still getting tons of traffic on this, and with good reason – CrossFit is crazy and Matt Ufford is great. I wish he had a website! [With Leather]

The Dugout: A-Rod’s Violent Gambling Parties - boy I swurr, et al. [The Dugout]

Not Sports

Interview with G4TV’s Jessica Chobot - I’m never going to find a G4 girl to like as much as I liked Morgan Webb, am I? I like Jessica Chobot because she looks like the domestic version of the girl from Ginger Snaps, but dislike her because of all the terrible Geek Minstrel stuff magazines do with girls who have heard of video games. [Adult Swim]

The Louis C.K./Dane Cook Scene - Just unbelievable television. “Louie” (both with and without the quotes) will make even your favorite TV shows seem phony and terrible. [Warming Glow]

Hitchcock’s First Film Found in New Zealand - I bet it’s good, too. You could give 11-year old Alfred Hitchcock a f**king Viewmaster and a five dollar bill and he’d come up with something better than anything released this summer. [Moviefone]

Meme Watch: Obama’s Hip Hop BBQ - Middle America can finally enjoy all that horrid racism we expected when we elected a black President. Obama needs to do a press conference about how the federal economy GON GET GOT. [UPROXX]

The Boston Celtics have tied up the NBA Finals, and they owe it more to “Big Baby” than the Big Three.

Backup Glen “Big Baby” Davis scored half of his 18 points in the fourth quarter on Thursday night as the Celtics bench pulled away from the Los Angeles Lakers to win 96-89 and even the best-of-seven series at two games apiece.

“Just will, that’s all it is,” Davis said. “This is what legends are made of, this is where you grasp the moment. … Just play in the moment.” –ESPN

Kevin Garnett’s mom may want to start ordering more pizzas, because more guys are showing up to the Big 3′s slumber parties. Rajon Rondo has been extended frequent invitations for his stellar play this postseason (16 points, 9.5 assists, 5.5 rebounds, and 2 steals per game), while Nate Robinson may have earned himself a seat at the table after last night’s performance. Marquise Daniels and Brian Scalabrine don’t care that they weren’t invited. They didn’t want to go anyway. Read the rest of this entry »

The Nets point guard hit a 50-foot buzzer beater to push past the Sixers last night, 98-96. This is why I don’t be on basketball; not because of the sudden swings in victory, but because I have no idea who Devin Harris is. I only bet on Pai Gow and Old Maid. Sadly, there aren’t many Old Maid tables running on The Strip these days. I blame the card counters.

Oh, and Nate Robinson had 41 points as the Knicks beat Indiana. Thanks, Yahoo!, for helping me pretend to care about the NBA. See Devin Harris’ buzzer-beater after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »