Good ol’ Nate Diaz. Just a regular dude!

Y’see, Pat Healy got Submission of the Night at UFC 159 but had his $65,000 bonus forfeited to Bryan Caraway, the only other guy with a submission victory that night, when Healy tested positive for marijuana. If you’re wondering what part of that makes Bryan Caraway a fag, here’s his manager Mike Kogan to helpfully explain that when Diaz said “fag,” he didn’t mean “homosexual,” he meant “person who is weak and worthless.” Not like when straight people think gay people are weak and worthless and call them fags to deride them.

Like when we’re trying to deride women.

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As we all wait breathlessly for Dana White to fulfill his promise of a Georges St-Pierre and Anderson Silva superfight, there’s a lot of buzz around tomorrow night’s UFC on Fox 5 event. Fans and analysts believe that we’re in store for one of the best non-PPV events in the history of free viewing. I say that’s a tall order to fill, seeing as I still think that the recent UFC on Fuel 6 event was still one of the best free fight cards I’ve ever watched twice in one day. How great was it? I didn’t even need to start drinking at 9 AM to enjoy. I just drank at 9 AM because.

So who will be providing tomorrow night’s action? Well for starters, we get three hours of preliminary fights on FX. That means we’re starting at 5 PM ET, before we switch over to Fox at 8 PM ET to watch the main card bouts. Just so I don’t have to get up at any point, I went to Costco this morning and bought six buckets of beef jerky. That way, when I’m done with a bucket, I can use it as a bathroom. That’s gross. I’m sorry.

Headlining the event at the Key Arena in lovely Seattle, of course, features Ben Henderson defending his Lightweight Championship against Nate Diaz, and that should be a hell of a fight. Some people have gone as far as to call it a skinnier version of the fight we just watched between St-Pierre and Carlos Condit, but again, that’s a really tall order for these two fighters to live up to.

Nevertheless, I expect the main event to be fantastic, and the rest of the official fight card looks pretty great as well. In fact, you can read our own Lobster Mobster’s pre-fight primer to prepare yourself. In the meantime, I thought it would be nice to let Brittney Palmer and Arianny Celeste walk us through tomorrow night’s matchups.

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Main card

Lightweight bout: Nate Diaz vs. Jim Miller
Welterweight bout: Josh Koscheck vs. Johny Hendricks
Heavyweight bout: Pat Barry vs. Lavar Johnson
Middleweight bout: Rousimar Palhares vs. Alan Belcher

Preliminary card (Fuel TV)

Featherweight bout: Dennis Bermudez vs. Pablo Garza
Lightweight bout: Danny Castillo vs. John Cholish
Flyweight bout: Louis Gaudinot vs. John Lineker
Welterweight bout: John Hathaway vs. Pascal Krauss
Flyweight bout: John Dodson vs. Tim Elliott
Lightweight bout: Tony Ferguson vs. Michael Johnson

Preliminary card (Facebook)

Middleweight bout: Mike Massenzio vs. Karlos Vemola
Bantamweight bout: Roland Delorme vs. Nick Denis

By participating in tonight’s discussion, you can unlock the dreaded DOUBLE FEDOR badge. Here’s how it works: during tonight’s show, all you have to do is “like” the post, share the live discussion on Facebook and tweet about it on Twitter. It’s easier than knocking out Bob Sapp!

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"I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves and I hope we've passed the audition"

Our UFC 145 live-blog was a huge success, so we’re doing it again … but this time the event is free for EVERYONE to watch, so it’s gonna get crazy.

Starting tomorrow night, May 5, at 8 PM EST, FilmDrunk’s Vince Mancini will be heading up the open discussion thread for UFC on Fox: Diaz Vs. Miller, aka UFC on Fox 3. The show is headlined by two big fights: a lightweight showdown between Nate Diaz and Jim Miller, as well as a welterweight bout between Johny Hendricks and Josh Koscheck. This will be your best chance all week to post on the Internet about how much you hate Josh Koscheck, so don’t miss it.

The full event card including preliminaries is below.

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Normally this would be the place I’d hype our Best And Worst Of WWE Smackdown Live-Blog, but tonight is the big UFC 141 event live on pay-per-view from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada, and we’re keeping it real. The live-blog will return starting next week, but for now I want to know where you’re watching the fights, what you think’s gonna happen, what you think WHILE it’s happening and what you thought when it was done.

So, open discussion thread. I’m not the most schooled-in-MMA blogger out there, so let me know what to expect, and what I should be excited for beyond a geometric shape full of blood and the possibility of an F5. Let me hear you, jerks! If this goes well (and gets more than the usual four comments* in comparison to WWE’s 100+) we’ll keep it going, and I’ll make an effort to cover more things that are actually sports.

The full results and weigh-in video are below. :

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Links

One Way Ticket To Snubtown! Breaking Down The Pro Bowl Rosters - When did Ray Lewis get the “you can be in the Pro Bowl forever no matter what” Derek Jeter card, and how do we get it away from him? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

…And Then Rajon Rondo Airballed A Lay-up - Mhoops! This has got to be the most Brandon Stroud Playing Horse shot in the history of the NBA. [Smoking Section]

The Greatest Sportscasting Moments Of 2011 - Jon Bois, WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE! [SB Nation]

Video: In Nate Diaz’s Defense, Donald Cerrone Shouldn’t Have ‘Put His Stupid-Ass Cowboy Hat All Up On’ Him - Stuff like this is way worse than wrestling, I don’t care how real it is. I do not want to see someone get into a shoving match because another guy’s cowboy hat was “all up on him”. [Cage Potato]

Humpday Mashup Dump: Skyrim Edition - I wanted to make an arrow in the knee joke, but I bought the game like two weeks too late and people have microscopic attention spans and a comedic expiration date of “the second time I’ve seen something”. Same thing happened to me with Portal. F**k you, the cake is still funny. [Gamma Squad]

The Weeping At Kim Jong Il’s Funeral Was Predictably Ridiculous - North Korea is more or less the “tough biker guy crying in fear when he sees a puppy” of people in real life. Like, I want to make fun of them, but Jesus, how f**ked up are they? Someone introduce Miley Cyrus to that country, stat. [UPROXX]

‘Modern Family’ Recut As A Horror Movie - Great, now it’s going to win all the SCREAM awards meant for the horror recut of Parks and Rec. [UPROXX]

Ben Affleck Plays Serious Harry Ellis - The best idea for a Die Hard prequel ever. Seriously, I would pay to watch two hours of Harry Ellis being a non-satirical American Psycho. [Film Drunk]

2011′s Most Popular Torrent Searches Prove Something We’ve Known All Along - I love that you have to have a qualifier to include WWE as TV. Hey, I’m a pussy vegan and I’m the one searching ‘WWE’. How else am I supposed to get the right pictures for the Best And Worst Of Raw? [Warming Glow]

Michele Bachmann Saying Literally Anything She Can On Fox News To Feign Iowa Momentum - As bad as things get, at least we can count on never having a lady who acts like this as our President. Terrifying. [Buzzfeed]