Welcome to Friday Face-Off, our weekly celebration of the Internet’s greatest random videos, as we pit two of them against each other for our own delicious competitive urges. Feel free to send submissions to BurnsyWL@gmail.com and if your video wins you’ll get yourself one of our awesome With Leather t-shirts.

It hit me the other day as I was doing push-ups in front of some Victoria’s Secret models that I forgot to put together a Friday Face-Off last week, as I was too busy breaking the world record for most times complaining about having to get up from the couch to walk all the way to the fridge. So I apologize for that and today bring you a very special offering to make up for that.

Today’s Face-Off pits two disabled animals against each other, so when you’re voting in the comments, make sure that you think long and hard about which of these poor souls you’re comfortable casting off into exile.

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This is Timmy, and in addition to sporting an English accent guvnah, he also has a pretty severe case of narcolepsy. And watching Timmy going bowling with his friends is amazing in every way. Someday I’ll have friends that supportive. You can either watch this video now, or just wait two days for College Humor to rip it and post it on their site instead of linking to us. It’s up to you, really.

Premier League midfielder Bob Malcolm was fined and banned from driving for 20 months for parking his car in the middle lane of a major highway and falling asleep at the wheel. 

Bob Malcolm, 27, a midfielder with Derby County, said he had been "overtaken by tiredness" and thought he had pulled over to the side of the road. The driver of a recovery vehicle found him slumped over the wheel of his silver Range Rover and had to wake him up before calling the police.

On the QPR website Malcolm said: "I want to apologise to all the supporters and in particular the young fans. I recognise that footballers are role models and that, as such, they should set a positive example. On this occasion, I have failed to do that.

"But I must say that I was very upset and frustrated with the poor performance of the referee in our match at Plymouth the evening before."

QPR had lost 2-1 on Boxing Day to a winner scored in the fourth minute of injury-time.

A typical reaction to any spate of questionable officiating, I must say. Remember during the AFC Divisional playoffs, after Antonio Cromartie's interception return for a touchdown was overruled by a phantom holding call right before half? As soon as he got to the locker room, what happened? Voila. Passed out. Happens to all of us. -Christmas Ape