In the worst nickname-on-the-back-of-football-jerseys news since He Hate Me revealed that He Actually Fairly Indifferent Toward Me, New England Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, the man who wanted his nick on his back so badly he pulled an Ultimate Warrior and legally changed his name, will become Chad Johnson again soon.

The news comes via his Twitter account @Ochocinco:

Of course, the tweet before that reads, “A thug is being able to drive a Prius smoking a cigar getting a girls hair full of cigar smoke listening to Little River Band ‘Reminiscing’” so take that news with a grain of salt.

It’s a good call, though. On a day when the Patriots rendered one of their wide-outs the least important person in professional sports by resigning Tiquan Underwood three days after releasing him so he couldn’t play in the Super Bowl, putting “Johnson” on your back instead of an incorrect spelling of your number in Spanish is smart. Best case scenario, they’ll think you’re someone else and let you play a few more years.

Somewhere Terrell Owens is trying to get his name changed to Terry Teeoh.

Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco just told ESPN’s Trey Wingo that he intends to change his name back to “Chad Johnson” in time for the 2011 NFL season, assuming there is one. The former Chad Johnson changed his name to an amalgam of the Spanish words for “eight” and “five” before the 2008 season. Chad’s jersey number is 85…obviously.

So was he serious? Who the hell knows. It’s just Chad being Chad. No matter what his name is, he can’t stand not being talked about. We’ll keep watching his Twitter feed and see if Chad does anything else anytime soon, like starting his own country or building a car out of homeless people.

One of the great pre-springtime traditions has been renewed again. The Name of the Year tournament, run by three anonymous English-speakers somewhere in America, dates back to 1994, when Mummenschontz Bitterbeetle accumulated a majority of votes. Today, 64 of the year’s greatest names “play off” in an elimination bracket based on your votes. Among the great names considered for year’s tournament:

Should SummerStarr Grey make it past the first cut? Is Rejoice Oldjohn at this point just another African name? Cinnamon Frost or Cynammon Crabb? Have we had it with legal name changers like Captain Danger Awesome? (We have.) Is Spontaneous Gordon an instantaneous No. 1 seed? Is Dick Mingalone a worthy representative of the Dick party? Can he fill the designated Dick slot if Dick Smallberries Jr. can’t fulfill his duties?

Should legacy Wonderful Terrific Monds II get a ballot slot, or is it one NOTY nomination per family? And what of the late Savior God-Scientific Allah, a Detroit boy who tragically fell out of a window and died? Will his multidenominational name live on in NOTY? via.

Voting is now open, and if you’ve never seen the site, it is destination viewing for March. Plus it’ll be fun for you to fill out a bracket that doesn’t completely tank like your basketball bracket did this year.

MORE NFL: Eagles OL Shawn Andrews is being interviewed here, streaming at 4:20. It’s funny because of the pot thing.

So the awesomely-named Jets receiver David Clowney [not pictured] was deactivated for Sunday’s game against Tennessee, apparently for using Twitter to whine about his playing time. Jets coach Rex Ryan said it was his way of keeping Clowney’s antics in check.

“I’m not a big Twitter guy, but you hear different things. To me, it’s about your team. No individual is bigger than the team. So if I feel a guy is not putting the team first, then I’ll make the decision to put the guy down.

“I put David down. That was my decision. I wanted to see how David would respond. via, via.

I guess he responded well; Ryan said Clowney was in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model scout team player of the week. So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice. the By the way, Clowney’s full name is David Cortez Clowney IV. That HAS to be a Name of the Year candidate. Thanks, Coachie, for the photoshop.

Your weekly wacky Chinese Olympics update:

The upcoming Beijing Olympics is more than just a point of pride for China — it's such an important part of the national consciousness that nearly 3,500 children have been named for the event, a newspaper reported Sunday. Most of the 3,491 people with the name "Aoyun," meaning Olympics, were born around the year 2000, as Beijing was bidding to host the 2008 Summer Games, the Beijing Daily reported . . . Names related to the Olympics don't just stop with "Olympics." More than 4,000 Chinese share their names with the Beijing Games mascots, the "Five Friendlies." The names are Bei Bei (880 people), Jing Jing (1,240), Huan Huan (1,063), Ying Ying (624) and Ni Ni (642). When put together, the phrase translates to "Beijing welcomes you!"

The "Five Friendlies"?  They used to make a nightly appearance in my pants during my teenage years.  When put together, they didn't say "Beijing welcomes you!" however.  They expressed more of an unspoken sentiment of comfort and sweet release.  Too bad their show made God cry. -KD