One of the nice things about working on the internet is being friends who work on the internet, friends who find the most insane things around the web. I present two such items for your perusal today, courtesy of the “Share Bros” Christmas Ape and J.E. Skeets.

First, a creepy tale of major league batting practice from ESPN The Mag, via SB Nation:

Once a week or so, instead of taking batting practice on the field, we will take it inside, in the stadium batting cage. And for a lot of guys, that is an invitation to bare all.

Without fail, a teammate will decide to take off his clothes and rub some sort of condiment — mustard, peanut butter, whatever— all over himself before he steps in to take a few swings. The sight of a big fella covered in peanut butter taking swings [at] a baseball tends to keep things light. Even BP pitchers get in on the act.

Some days I’ll show up in the cage, and the guy throwing to me has on his birthday suit. Let me tell you, nothing tests your focus more than trying to hit a baseball thrown by a man with his junk hanging out.

That explains why A-Rod took to long to reach 600 home runs. And there’s a video of a very exhibitionist farmer after the jump. It’s SFW; there’s no junk in it or anything. That’s not how we roll. Read the rest of this entry »

When you live in New Zealand, boring ol’ rugby with clothes won’t do, apparently. So once a year (I suppose whenever it gets warm enough), two teams of seven players each get together in the quaint little town of Dunedin and play rugby butt-ass nekkid.

The nude rugby international, which started as a celebration of New Zealand’s national nude day, was held yesterday as a warm-up – although temperatures were reportedly cold enough to prove embarrassing – to the forthcoming match between the All Blacks and France.

Needless to say, there were plenty of tackles flying about with only one interruption … when a fully-clothed streaker ran on to the pitch.

I guess the short shorts weren’t short enough after all. Seriously, it must be great to live in a country where people can just run around naked and then get all grumpy when someone with clothes on interrupts the proceedings. And I still shower with swim trunks on. But that’s only because I like to keep my soap in the pockets.

|UK’s Guardian, via Flubby|

UPDATE: We moved the video to after the jump. After all, crack kills.

WARNING: This clip features a long-distance, out-of-focus nude guy skating. There aren’t enough naughty bits in here to call it unsafe for your place of business, but here’s a heads-up anyway.

During a stoppage of play in some game in Connecticut, a naked guy wanders onto the ice with nothing other than skates, a big blue goalie stick, and unbridled charisma. Oh, and a hat, which fell off. It’s amazing that he can’t keep his feet but then regroups and makes a nice deke on the goalie on the far side. That’s the thing about hockey players; all you need is heart and a total absence of thought to be successful.
Read the rest of this entry »

Australia proves once again that a country created by criminals is in many ways superior to a country started by a bunch of pilgrims looking for religious freedom. This is about as free as it gets. From Asylum:

Last weekend kicked off this year’s World Naked Bike Ride, where nude cyclists on four continents hit the streets to celebrate the human body and protest the negative effects of car transportation. Fortunately for one couple, the Melbourne, Australia, ride coincided with another very special occasion — their wedding day.

Rodney Dangerfield would have an easy time finding out who was the best man. And then I guess these guys in Switzerland like to hike in the buff. How progressive! Who needs feeling in their foreskin when you’re so good at producing chocolate? |New York Times|

Oh, those vivacious Michiganders:

A man who was sentenced to 30 days in jail for taking his daily run while wearing only a stocking cap, gloves and reflective tape said that the nude jogging made him "feel alive," according to police. Russell Rotta, 49, told police that he had been running naked since he was a teenager and that he generally woke up each day around 4 a.m. to conceal the activity from his wife.

Other 4 AM life-affirming activities people usually hide from their spouses include near strangulation at the hands of one's dominatrix, the visceral satisfaction of disemboweling a prostitute, and night-putting.

Rotta reported running in the nude six miles a day every day, weather permitting . . . He wore reflective tape around his arms, ankles, waist and thighs to avoid being hit when he crossed roads, the police report said.

I should take up this "sport", and with the pallor of my skin, I wouldn't even need reflective tape.  Although, if anyone ever witnessed the early morning exercise of my robust physique with its healthy glow of Irish epidermis, the headline would read: "E.T. SPOTTED JOGGING AT WOLF LAKE". -KD