Oh. Hello. I’m sorry, were you not expecting to see Joe Namath in a towel with Farrah Fawcett today? What about Sylvester Stallone punching Muhammad Ali at Planet Hollywood? What about heavyweight champion Lenox Lewis with alcoholic-era Kerry Collins with porn star Heather Hunter with a Baldwin brother in a ‘do rag? Did I just blow your mind?
Yesterday, Life Magazine made life awesome for the Internet-having public by opening up its photo archives on Google. Ball Don’t Lie already scored Billy Baldwin with the Knicks City Dancers, and in fact a mere search of “Baldwin” opens up a trove of gold. You should also see what Big League Stew turned up on Joe DiMaggio.
Below are some of my favorites. Andre Agassi with hair. College-age Wilt Chamberlain with white girls at Kansas. Agassi with Joe Montana and Wayne Gretzky at an event for the All Star Cafe. Jesus, do you remember the All Star Cafe? What a tremendous failure. I love it.
Newspapers often create obituaries for public figures long before they actually become worm food. Once completed, the papers then generally refrain from making reference to that person's death until, you know, they shuffle loose this mortal coil.
Not those trailblazers at The Courier-Journal in Louisville, who this morning in a Metro story implied that Muhammad Ali has passed away. Hey, no big whoop, mistakes happen, he's only the most famous person to hail from that town, uh, ever. Why should they be keeping tabs on him?
To their credit, the paper has corrected the error, but only after getting an angry visit from the Grim Reaper. "Hey, quit killing people before I get a chance to do it," Death said. "I like to savor it with famous people. Yves Saint-Laurent was a real treat. Gay people always go out fabulously. Hey, it's all right, I'm sorry. It's just a stressful gig, this reaping. Put 'er there. HAHAHA! They fall for that one every time."
Jo-Wilfried Tsonga lost the Australian Open Championship to Novak Djokovic (4-6, 6-4, 6-3, 7-6 (2)) today, but that hasn't stopped Tsonga from comparing himself to Muhammad Ali:
Australian Open finalist Jo-Wilfried Tsonga's resemblance to a young Muhammad Ali has caused quite a stir at the year's first grand slam. The young French tennis player does, however, have a more tangible connection with the former world heavyweight boxing champion. "My father was at the fight at Kinshasa because he's from Brazzaville," Tsonga told an astonished press pack on Saturday. "He took some photos, so I have some souvenirs . . . Yeah, of course, I watch some DVDs," Tsonga said, adding that there were other things he admired in the 66-year-old. "Maybe his personality on the court. Maybe I think I have the same (in) tennis as his (in) boxing."
I kind of look like Tom Brady if you have an eyesight restriction on your driver's license and you've had a fistful of rufies, but I don't think I could quarterback a team to the Super Bowl or bed a super model. I have as much in common with Brady as a French tennis player has with the greatest boxer of all time except I had a walking cast one time and dated a girl named Bridget. Point: me. -KD
