Woman, don’t STAAART with me!

Links

High Quality Comedy: 10 Hilarious “In Living Color” Skits - This list is awesome, but is missing 1) Please Mama, Don’t Eat The Government Cheese, and 2) the one where Jim Carrey can’t communicate because he clucks like a chicken. [Smoking Section]

Mr. T. Baby Unmasked! The Follow-Up Interview - The best thing to happen on the network since we interviewed the Lobster Dog. Babies are awesome when I don’t know them and aren’t sitting beside them on an airplane. [Film Drunk]

The Best Of Community’s Dean Pelton - I love Troy, I love Annie, but the Dean is the best part of the show. Dean dong! [UPROXX]

Oh, No: Academics Analyze ‘Jersey Shore’ - Sorta like what I do with Best and Worst of Raw every week, but with an increased chance of getting to sleep with J-WOWW. [Warming Glow]

Dog From Up In Real Life Discovered On A See-Saw - oh my god I want to hug him so hard [Film Drunk]

Happy Halloween From Shifty-Eyed Vigo the Carpathian - The greatest character in the history of movies. One of my career goals is to make a prequel film about him, but make it a dreary period-piece starring Keira Knightley and somebody. Also, to have sex with Keira Knightley. [Gamma Squad]

Things That Lasted Longer Than Kim Kardashian’s Marriage - The best so far is “Gary Coleman casket”, not for the joke, but because of the lack of apostrophe-s. [Buzzfeed]

Pyromaniac Cat Is Infatuated With Open Flame - My love is blind, can’t you see my desire? That’s the way love goes. [The FW]

Adult Swim’s Introduction to Cthulhu - If you want to learn more about Cthulhu, just go to Teefury.com every third day. Also a great way to learn about Doctor Who. [Adult Swim

10 Biggest Celebrity Wax Figure FAILS - I've never once stood beside a wax figure and thought "wow, they did a great job". It always looks like a Sears mannequin in slightly more-expensive clothes. [PopCrush]

If You Think You Hated Justin Bieber Before, He Has A Batmobile - Maybe they can cast him as Robin in a “The Dark Knight Returns” movie. He’d be perfect, wouldn’t he? [FARK]

Director Joe Dante’s 8 Favorite Scary Christmas Movies - I will listen to anything the man who directed Gremlins (and more importantly, Gremlins 2) has to say. [Moviefone]

Some people just exude badass no matter where they are or what they do. Here’s Mr. T performing his duties as a body guard for Leon Spinks just before his big rematch with Muhammed Ali in 1978. Hell, you were probably just a twinkle in the UPS man’s eye in 1978, until he delivered that extra-special “package” to your mother. via.

Geekologie (via flubby) found these humorous and somewhat-anatomically-correct USB drives, inspired by characters from Rocky III. They retail for about 2,900 yen ($30 US) here, but haven’t been released yet, as far as I can tell. Also can’t tell how much memory these guys sport, but since they’re boxers, it can’t be all that much, but if you’re looking for a drive with great abs and solid hand speed, then this is just what you need. They’re also planning to release a USB hub in the likeness of Adrian. I’ll give you a second to figure that one out…

Mr. T sang “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” at a Cubs game over the weekend. And…it was pretty GD awful. But when you’ve been in The A Team, Wrestlemania, AND Rocky III, you’ve earned the right to suck at everything else. And why is Van Pelt digging on T dropping that first pitch in the dirt? That’s still better than anyone in the Washington Nationals bullpen. Burnage!

|Brownbagged at Larry Brown Sports|