Maybe “happy” isn’t the right word. Reverent, yet personally productive and fun Memorial Day everybody! Me and Burnsy are taking the day to relax by the pool and eat of pizza, so I thought you might enjoy a little taste test of the things we’ve put up in my first month as editor. If you’re bored and on the Internet for some reason today, go back and check some of these out. You might’ve missed them the first time around, and if not, the Internet doesn’t exist on a linear timeline you jerk, and you can read something more than once.

Sorry for calling you a jerk. Here are some links that exemplify America~.

The Dugout: Elijah Dukes Can’t Handle Life’s Basic Tasks [The Dugout]

Best Of The 2011 Pole Dancing Championship [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 5/2: Happy Dead Osama Bin Laden Day [With Leather]

The NFL’s Bravest Faces Part Two (don’t be fooled by the title, it is pictures of cheerleaders) [With Leather]

The Dugout: The Houston Astros’ Keys to Success by Jon Bois [The Dugout]

Your Weekly Dose Of Racing Awwwww [With Leather]

The WWE Legacy of Mr. Socko [With Leather]

The 2011 World Beard Championships [With Leather]

The Dugout: AL Central Folklore, aka the one where Jim Thome dresses like Paul Bunyan [The Dugout]

The 2011 Beautiful Bulldog Contest [With Leather]

Multiple-time WWE and TNA Champion Mick Foley is auctioning off some of his memorable pro wrestling accessories to benefit charity, including his famous “Cactus Jack” thumbtack-filled leopard-print boots, autographed books, and, yes, the sock he wore on his hand when he won his first WWF title. For those of you who haven’t spent a large chunk of your life watching wrestling, Foley is famous for pulling a sock out of his pants, putting it on his hand and stuffing it into his opponent’s mouth. Also, the sock has a face on it. Wrestling is weird.

The auctions are going on now, with “Mr. Socko” bringing in over $400 at the time of this posting. 100% of the proceeds go to RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, so if you’ve ever wanted to buy a size 52 Florida Marlins jersey or a leather wristband that has been in Stone Cold Steve Austin’s mouth (and who hasn’t?), this is the best and most helpful way to do it.

Mr. Socko is a WWE legend, so in honor of his passing and Foley’s generosity, check out this gallery of the most memorable moments in the career of a stinky piece of footwear, and the nice guy who always wore it incorrectly.

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