Randy Poffo, AKA Macho Man Randy Savage, passed away two years ago to the day, so I thought I’d honor him with his touching rap tribute to “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig, as someone dubbed it over his classic highlight reel. I wouldn’t have remembered unless the SI Vault Twitter feed reminded me of Randy’s classic photo from his days as a St. Louis Cardinals minor leaguer. Why I’ve never ordered a customized Poffo jersey is beyond me.

As a Cardinals fan, I’m supposed to be classier and more intelligent than other baseball fans, but in this regard I seem to have really missed the mark. I’ll work on that.

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WWE’s Royal Rumble 2013 goes down on January 27, and I think I speak for everyone when I say the best part of a Royal Rumble match is when they herd a wrestler in front of a green screen and tell him to explain off the top of his head why he’s gonna win. Very few things make a wrestling fan feel like a kid again like Hulk Hogan pointing with an open palm and yelling about vitamins in front of a horrible yellow background reading HULK HOGAN.

To prepare for the Rumble, I’ll be putting up a retro Best And Worst report (or two), but step one is the celebration of these promo montages. When the mid-90s hit they went the way of the dodo, but I’ve put together a gallery of some of the best from 89-96. If you only watch one thing, watch the video where swank 1995 Pamela Anderson gets weird voicemail messages from Doink the Clown about how he’s gonna nail her when he wins the Royal Rumble. Hell, even if you don’t like wrestling, watch that one.

Enjoy. If I missed one of your favorites, be sure to post it in our comments section below.

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WWE’s YouTube page provides a lot of fresh videos for the Best And Worst Of Raw column — mostly of the “here’s the last 20 seconds of a match, and the five minutes of wacky shouting that came after it” persuasion — but occasionally they dip into the archives and share something truly magical.

That’s the case with this video of pretty much everyone who competed at Survivor Series ’89 celebrating Thanksgiving by saying what they’re thankful for. It’s one of the most 1980s pro wrestling things I’ve ever seen, and so heartwarming that I decided to put together a quick list of my ten favorite things that happen in it. I’m thankful for goofy nostalgia, the fact that pro wrestling coverage has septupled our traffic and that the Ultimate Warrior exists, and was once asked to talk about Thanksgiving.

So, in no particular order …

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We cover pro wrestling a little more than we should these days, because it turns out a lot of people want to read about fake fighting on legitimate comedy sports blogs and because more of us watched it when we were kids than we’d like to admit. Some of us still do, and have blogging jobs instead of working in an office somewhere and having the respect of anyone.

I’ve been looking for a way to follow-up on the WWF Legends Minimalist Poster Gallery from earlier this month, and pro wrestling personality/friend of the site Kyle Durden gave me a great idea … what’s more WWF and minimalist than actual pro wrestling promo 8x10s? Nothing, it turns out, especially if you find the ones from the late 1980s/early 1990s, after wrestling had been popular but before it got popular again. That’s a gold mine.

So here’s a look into the WWF promo photos gold mine. A preview of what you’ll find inside: Dusty Rhodes as a laughing garbage man, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake going from normal human being to crazy-eyed monster in four years and the Bushwhackers playing in somebody’s raked leaves. By the end of the gallery you may no longer be able to stand. That’s normal.

Let me know which ones are your favorites in the comments section below.

[all photos via ImageEvent]

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I’ve followed my share of pro wrestling over the years, but that mostly ended when I learned that girls like to have sex with guys who don’t watch pro wrestling. So forgive me that I’m not too familiar with “champion” wrestler Big Dan Mandini (real name Dan Mezzina). Also known as “Half Man, Half Amazing”, “The Boy O’ Glee”, and “All That is Delicious” – according to his Facebook fan club with 5 members – Dan wrestles in the East Coast Pro-Wrestling stable and he recently got married. And like most of the kids these days, Dan got creative with his bridal party intros.

With the help of the awesome and legendary WWF/WWE announcer Howard Finkel, Dan’s wedding party was introduced to vintage WWF theme music, including Brett “The Hitman” Hart, The Orient Express, Linda McMahon, and Hulk Hogan. Dan and his bride, Jennifer, made the obvious – and best – choice and entered to Mr. Perfect’s theme music. All in all, I give the idea an A and the execution a C-minus, ranking this just above the WWE’s wedding of Billy and Chuck (pictured above). Look, if you’re going to invoke the legends of the WWF then I need to see all wheels spinning.

Check the video with my critique after the jump, as well as a special Dan Mandini wrasslin’ highlight and a few other perfect treats…

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