There are few certainties in life, among them are death, taxes, fat girls give good BJs and football players don’t ever learn valuable lessons. Ben Roethlisberger famously face-planted during a leisurely ride on his motorcycle, and in June, University of South Alabama football player Anthony Ray Mostella was killed in a motorcycle accident. There have been plenty of other situations involving athletes and motorcycle crashes and it just doesn’t seem to catch on. So it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that University of Iowa offensive lineman Josh Koeppel was out cruising on his manly chariot when he was hit by a pickup truck. Koeppel, though, wasn’t riding on a Hog or popping wheelies on a crotch rocket. He was riding on a scooter. Ouch, right?

Koeppel is generally in good condition after his accident, thankfully, as he was treated at the university’s clinic for scrapes and bruises. The second string lineman will miss the team’s opener against Eastern Illinois on Saturday, which is pretty lucky considering how bad the accident looks at first. Video after the jump, but I wonder what Iowa’s coach Kirk Ferentz thinks about the accident.

Ride the scooter through a loop with a clown on your back, swallow the bike and honk a horn, Huffington Post:

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And since we’re posting it, you can guess how well it turns out. I’d tell you how close he got, but I really wouldn’t want to ruin it for you. Plus, so many of you seem to be upset that I dissed Jay-Z in the last post. Sorry, I just don’t think he’s all that. Anyway, I hope you’re having a solid Cinco de Mayo so far…for me, I plan on playing Bingo tonight with the girls after I finish knitting these mittens for my granddaughter. Read the rest of this entry »

I bet southern Asia is the greatest place on earth. Where else could a family of five count on a single moped for vacation travel. And don’t worry about the fact that there isn’t any room for their luggage on this family roadster. My money says that this family is already wearing all of the clothing that they own. And I love the kid hanging for his life off the back of the bike. That looks insane now, but if I was a kid seeing this for the first time, I would totally want to do that. Video’s after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Tiger Woods had been setting trends in golf for a long time, but while smashing long drives and complaining about photographers aren’t trends that have caught on in the non-golfing world, his high-profile humping seems to have earned at least one follower. Jesse James, for one. And I mean the bike-building Jesse James, not the 19th-century outlaw. James, who is still married to noted actress Sandra Bullock, saw his own Parade Of Whores kick off no less than a week after his wife won the Academy Award for The Blind Side. But which one screwed around on his wife better? Let’s break it down. Read the rest of this entry »

There’s something magical about mentally deficient people and motorcycles. When these two dangerous things come together, it’s as magical as a unicorn getting those deep grass stains out of your baseball pants without using bleach. Following the fold is a solid montage of motorcycle crashes that made me both laugh and cringe. And then I laughed some more, because I realize that sharing videos like this is what I get paid to do. But the credit goes to the stars of the show below. God bless them, and God bless these fifty United States. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s video of a bunch of old guys doing everything they can to put more testosterone in their bodies, save for shooting each other up in the ass…with steroids, pervert. Check out the guy on the red bike, explaining through the art of incompetence why I will never own a motorcycle. This is the same thing that happened to Kellen Winslow, Jr. It really is dangerous to be hanging out with so many white people. via [ads NSFW], via.