Welcome to day one of With Leather’s “Make People Say Stuff” Initiative, where we stop openly begging you to comment on posts throughout the day and try to lure you into an Inception’d sense of commenting urgency with a new social set-up, complete with incentives and, once we figure out what to give you, WONDERFUL PRIZES. Couple that with our free fantasy football game (click the busty cheerleaders above or below this post) and we’re basically the ATM of websites. Consider “being interested in things” as your $5 usage charge.

The current features of the new commenting system are:

- Signup using Facebook or Twitter
- Universal login on any Uproxx site
- User Profiles — comments made on any Uproxx site are
aggregated on your profile
- Profile Avatars — use your Facebook, Twitter or a custom avatar
- Clickable avatars — shows mini profile with recent comments

And, if that wasn’t enough, Coming Soon:

- Direct messaging
- Threaded replies to comments
- Commenting awards and badges

So it’s pretty cool. Hop down into the comments here and let us know what you think, because hey, the way we give out rewards is random at this point and I might decide to give you a gift. Just kidding, I’m giving it to Upstate Underdog.

Links

Brandon McCarthy Of The Athletics Knows What The Dugout Is - In one of the most important moments of my creative life, a guy who plays baseball likes my baseball comic. Unbelievable. Turns out all I had to do was hate a player everyone hates already! [@BMcCarthy32]

New ‘Justified’ Villains Cast! - Anne Hathaway in a leather suit! Tom Hardy with a jockstrap on his face! [Warming Glow]

Reddit’s Jailbait Message Board Shut Down For Good, It Seems - This calls for a wistful Bob Dylan-scored retrospective. First the Camwhores chan threads where you could find naked pictures of Mitra, and now this. RIP [UPROXX]

First Avengers Trailer Is Finally Here - This, combined with the joke I made in this week’s Best and Worst of Raw, is going to make me go to BuyBacks and buy A Love Song For Bobby Long, or as I like to call it, Scarlett Johansson Smoking: The Movie. [Gamma Squad]

23 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Mormon - Hold on, Julie from ‘The Real World’ is a Mormon? No way. [Buzzfeed]

TV Chef Claims Eating Puppy Meat Is No Worse Than Pork - I’m sure this’ll get met with a dismissive wank by the “lol bacon” crowd, but there you go. Also, I don’t know if you noticed it, but eating shrimp is like eating wet cockroaches. [FARK]

Paula Deen Flirts With Matt Lauer - Not as good as the “Giada de Laurentiis Flirts With Brandon Stroud” story I wrote in my sleep last night. [AOL TV]

Restaurant Customer Leaves Negative $2 Tip and Tells the Waitress to Lose Weight - Or as it was originally titled, “facetious dickhead now hilarious to facetious dickheads on Internet”. [The Daily What]

Fun with Penis Confusion: Comparing Alison Brie’s Cleavage to Joel McHale’s Buttcrack - With a close enough proximity to Alison Brie, I really wouldn’t care if that was Joel McHale’s buttcrack. [Pajiba]

Most Likely the Nerdiest Tattoo on the Planet - The guy with the Hulk Hogan Flexing backpiece gently weeps. [Unreality]

I like to imagine that headline meaning any number of different things, but it's just a reference to how many players on the Miami Dolphins are members of the Church of Latter-Day Saints.

As the Dolphins began rookie mini camps and camps for veterans, there are six members of the LDS faith on the team right now, including a trio of veterans, quarterback John Beck (BYU), John Denney (BYU) and Sampson Satele (Hawaii). Steve Fifita (Utah), who was cut and picked up by New England, would have been the seventh, had he stayed on the roster.

The others are Utah State offensive lineman Shawn Murphy, son of former Atlanta Brave star Dale Murphy, who was drafted in the fourth round by Miami, No. 115 overall; free agent signee Kelly Poppinga (BYU) and free agent receiver Devone Bess (Hawaii), who was thought to be taken in the fifth round by Miami but was picked up after the draft.

In my experience with Mormons, they've always been polite, friendly people with no ill will to their fellow man, so I don't know why it's so fun to ridicule them.  I guess because they're polite, friendly people with no ill will to their fellow man.  Hey dorks, why don't you go spend two years of your lives to try to improve the lives of people in impoverished countries!?!?  Suckers.

[SPORTSbyBROOKS] 

As Signal to Noise points out, the NCAA tournament season is upon us, and with that comes gratuitous human interest stories. And the New York Times has gotten a head start on the field by profiling UNLV forward Joe Darger, a Mormon whose familial cheering section "includes his father, his mother, his 18 siblings and his father’s other wife."

John Darger is married to Carollee Darger, Joe’s mother. He is also married to Elizabeth Darger, the mother of eight of his children… His children range in age from 2 to 40… [John] grew up with 46 siblings. His father had several wives. Polygamy was passed down like a family heirloom.

The article has all sorts of fun facts, like how Joe moved out of his dorm freshman year when he learned it was coed.

Ummm… what? Dude grew up with dad and granddad humping multiple wives non-stop, chose to go to college in Las freaking Vegas, and he can't live in the same dorm as chicks?

Wow. Kids, can you excuse us? Joe and I need to have a sit-down. This may take a while. But if I can teach strippers how to love, I can teach this retarded man-child how to score college threesomes.