10 Suggestions For ‘Backflips & Beatdowns 3′

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.24.12

Backflips and Beatdowns 2This video of motocross jumpers doing tricks over live MMA fights from last weekend’s ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 2′ event in Billings, Montana, is making the rounds today, and while there isn’t much to say other than “lol what is this dumb sh*t why is it happening” I thought I’d put together some helpful suggestions to make ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 3′ (date TBA) a little more engaging:

1. Have pro skateboarders grind the top of the cage while MMA fights are happening and motocross guys are jumping over them. “Powerman 5000 – When Worlds Collide” would make this especially awesome.

2. Rig the bikes so the exhaust sprays Baja Blast Mountain Dew on the fighters as it backflips. That’s probably a little degrading to the guys in the octagon, but these guys are cagefighting under the Montana X-Games so f**k them.

3. Fire hoops a’plenty.

4. Allow public masturbation, but only during the coolest parts. So, public masturbation from beginning to end. Suggestion 4B) Call the event ‘Backflips And Beatdowns And Beatoffs’.

5. Eliminate the landing ramp. Have riders jump directly into the cage, where they then have to fight their way out. Twist: The cage does not have doors.

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Montana To Play At Montana

Written by samerochocinco / 02.15.11

Joe Montana’s son, Nate Montana, decided to transfer from Notre Dame and go to the University of Montana to play some good ol’ Montana-Montana football. Montana’s Montana’s going to Montana. Montana. You know when you say a word enough, you start to analyze it and realize how funny it looks? It’s not happening yet, but it will after reading the rest of this post.

University of Montana athletic director Jim O’Day confirmed to the Missoulian Monday night that Nate Montana, son of NFL Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana, has enrolled at the University of Montana.

“He’s enrolled as a student, and he started classes today,” O’Day said. “Then I would assume he’s a walk-on, because we have no (scholarship) aid as of this semester.”-Billings Gazette.

I wonder what the university’s pitch consisted of. “Hey Nate, it’s basically meant to be, bro. It was predestined to happen, so you might as well embrace it. Besides, you can pull in basically any girl here if you convince them you own the damn place. Yeah, they’ll be drunk enough.”

So, on the front of Nate’s new uniform, it will say “Montana,” and on the back of the uniform, it will ALSO say “Montana”? Whoa.

No word on what will happen to Hannah, Nate’s sister, and whether or not she will leave the University of Skank-Ass-Hoes to join her brother. They’ve got a great business program.

In all seriousness, Montana sucks. What’s up there besides crappy land and bears that want to eat you? The only place more seemingly desolate and depressing than you is Wyoming. That’s the most exciting thing between you two states: which one sucks less. You make me grateful I live in New Hampshire.

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