Every now and then a pro wrestling-related clip nobody should’ve seen pops up on the Internet and decides to go viral. Today’s clip, courtesy of our friends at Buzzfeed, is quite possibly the most masculine thing ever recorded and a living interpretation of every Chuck Norris joke you’ve heard as performed by monster trucks, electric guitar and Sgt. Slaughter. To catch you up to speed:

Following his third tour of duty in Vietnam, Sgt. Slaughter retired from service to pursue his life long dream of wrestling. After gaining the world championship belt and super stardom, the Sgt then moved onto rock star, monster truck tug of war champion and GI JOE. They just don’t make them like they used to.

Highlights of the video include the finest of 1980s girls in Bud trucker hats, the tape wearing out at the part where a lady starts jacking off an exhaust pipe, Sarge’s “battle battalion” not looking too different from the Village People and a bunch of monster truck and funny car drivers calmly lip syncing parts they should be screaming. In case you were wondering, Sgt. Slaughter did all those things in the blockquote but the guy who played him didn’t — he actually started off as a flamboyant character in the mid-70s, and if you need confirmation of military time not served, listen to Jesse “The Body” Ventura (Navy UDT veteran and former Navy SEAL) talk about it.

Regardless, the fictional version of the army guy had a pretty amazing life up until the Gulf War, when he decided to side with Iraq. Man, Sgt. Slaughter was always kind of a lying jerk, wasn’t he? Those Joe PSAs are meaningless now. I’m gonna go put my fingers in the light sockets no matter what Flint tells me. Ah well, at least you can’t take “monster truck tug of war champion” away from him.

[via Buzzfeed]

It’s usually bad form to start the day with a video, but this is too good to wait.

I’m the last guy on earth to say that one activity is a sport and that another is not. Some people will call baseball a sport, but not golf, even though anyone playing baseball will spend half of the game leisurely sitting on his ass. At least in auto racing you have to turn the wheel. Yes, counter-clockwise.

That (somehow) brings us to monster trucks, which is more of an exhibition than a sport, kinda like how karate masters might smash bricks or Reggie Bush might contract Hep-C. But don’t tell me that doing a backflip in a monster truck doesn’t require the same measured approach and testicular fortitude as hitting a 100-mile-an-hour fastball or running a post route over the middle. TRUCKS DON’T GO THAT WAY, SECOND-GENERATION MONSTER TRUCK STAR RYAN ANDERSON. But he ain’t care, and our world has been enriched because of it.

Anderson has my vote for Athlete of the Year. Thanks, 2011. We’ve seen enough.

Via Sharebros Greg and Francis.

UPDATE: Apparently Travis Pastrama did this last year. Thanks, Oski, for the heads-up.

"Must... protect... my... cooler."

I don’t really have much information behind this video other than it’s a monster truck and it explodes, but for the sake of entertainment I’ll assume this took place in Kentucky every day for the last 20 years. As you’ll see in the video after the jump, the driver, Kirby, is going to show a crowd of car value depreciation enthusiasts what his specialized monster Lincoln Town Car* can do against a large pit of mud. Then he actually hits the mud and becomes instantly stuck and brilliance ensues.

Instead of accepting that he’s stuck and an embarrassment to his family of 16, Kirby is hellbent on moving forward, to the point that he almost kills himself. Instead, he comes just short of becoming a Darwin Awards finalist. Maybe next year, big fella!

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