Hank Williams Jr. must be rolling over in his grave.

By way of Rant Sports and anyone else who watches actual sports instead of pro wrestling on Monday nights comes the latest in a string of “let’s get people Bocephus might hate to do his job” intro videos, this one spotlighting Sole Surviving Golden Girl and temporary-internet-sensation-turned-person-we’re-tired-of-seeing-in-commercials Betty White.

Betty’s entire schtick these days is that she is Very Old, and the open brings that in spades — on-field collisions are compared to old folks driving, a brief discussion on the elderly Tebowing is had and at one point she calls Matt Ryan “hot”. That’s the best one, because seriously, only someone on the ass-end of 80 would say that. Also, Drew Brees set a passing record, but defenses in 2011′s NFL are forced to play like Snickers commercial Betty White so we’re gonna cover it in asterisks and move forward remembering this clip as the most important thing to occur.

You can check out the video (and a better one) after the jump.

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Candlestick Park went blackout dark twice during last night’s Monday Night Football game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Pittsburgh Steelers, and depending on your level of inner demons your brain should go to one of two jokes: “pretty funny that a place called ‘candlestick’ would burn out like that” or “did anybody get shot?” The second one isn’t a joke as much as a concern, but don’t worry, you weren’t the only one thinking it.

From the Associated Press:

Two power outages delayed the Niners’ 20-3 Monday night win over the Pittsburgh Steelers, first just before kickoff and again early in the second quarter after the stadium moved to a backup power source.

NFL security chief Jeff Miller said he witnessed a transformer blow up while he was monitoring a gate outside the stadium, where a shooting during the preseason already put a negative light on this venue.

Eventually the lights came back on and stayed that way, and San Fran rolled to a 20-3 victory. Nobody was injured or murdered (that we know of) and nothing had to be postponed, so the game’s legacy lies in a gallery of videos and images depicting sudden darkness, dogs being led around the stadium by policemen and a sad line of cheerladies who just wanted to put on their Santa Claus dresses and shake a pom pom for our enjoyment. Those are the real victims.

Anyway, please enjoy said gallery, and yes, the Santa dresses are in there.

[pics credit to Getty Images, AP Photo and Reuters Images]

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A transformer exploded outside of my house when I was eleven, and it was the scariest thing ever. I thought Jesus was coming back.

[gif via Mocksession]

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Links

The Internet Reacts To The Death Of Kim Jung Il - And speaking of power outages, watch as 99.9% of the world reacts to a dictator’s death with quotes and images from Team America: World Police, because that’s what they know him from. America, f**k yeah! [UPROXX]

The Absolute Very Worst Movies Of 2011! - Hello Burnsy, I am the director of Mars Needs Moms and we need to have a serious talk. [Film Drunk]

7 Things About ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ That You Might Not Know - Where are you, Christmas? Why can’t I find you? Oh, wait, sorry, I was looking in November. [Warming Glow]

Jessica Burciaga May Or May Not Be Kobe’s Mistress, But She’s Definitely Hot - I wonder what Robert Awful’s mistress looks like? [Smoking Section]

Second Trailer For The Dark Knight Rises Has Officially Arrived - Anne Hathaway is still absolutely not a bad ass, but okay, this looks pretty great so far. And thank goodness poor Hines Ward didn’t die! [Gamma Squad]

Bill Murray Shredded The Ghostbusters 3 Script? - <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 [Gamma Squad]

25 People Who Thought Lil Kim Died - When Lil Kim does die, I want the cause of death to be “choked on a Sprite can”. [Buzzfeed]

Google’s ‘Let It Snow’ Feature is Easter Egg For the Holiday Season - A fun way to ruin ‘Let It Snow’ is to sing the lyrics “let us know, let us know, let us know”. It’s almost as good as replacing “pumpkin” with “f**kin” in ‘Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree’. [The FW]

Top 100 cult films. List fails without _______ - These lists are always terrible because people think “cult” means “a movie that didn’t make a ton of money at first, or did and I just didn’t see it”. Like, how is Lord Of The Rings a cult movie? But it’s always on these. [FARK]

The 15 Best Single Episodes of Television in 2011 - I don’t care when “The Suitcase” aired, it’s still my #1. [Pajiba]

“Man, why does every sports fan gotta rap some?” I don’t know, all I know is he’s the best one.

Met this guy while filming at Monday Night Football – Eagles vs Bears. Learned to rap back in the 80′s from inmates at a correctional facility where he was a guard for 25 years until retiring 6 years ago. Says he’d rap on the yard and instead of attacking him the inmates would laugh at him and drop him some beats!

I can’t decide which part of this video is my favorite. The Brent Celek jersey? The f**king Beer Belt? I think it’s #18 back there responding to “like they say liquor first never fear” with a little squeaky “oh” like he’s Mac from ‘It’s Always Sunny’. To this guy’s credit he does a pretty good job freestyling what really goes on in his hood (getting drunk, watching the Eagles, getting drunk), but to his discredit he does it for almost two minutes and by the end of it you’re kinda tired of him rhyming sh*t with ‘quicka’ and even the cameraman is zooming around trying to find something else to do.

He’ll give you all of him until there’s nothing left. He swears this summer will be training camp. Bitch.

[via Guyism]

YOU'RE ALL LIKE HITLER, YEAH WOOO

Last night’s 45th Annual Country Music Association Awards featured a lot of the usual suspects — Taylor Swift crying about winning an award she expected to win, a touching tribute to Texas Ranger La Boeuf and Darius Rucker turning “and the Blowfish” into a full-blown country music career — but the best parts were when sports guys showed up, because I haven’t gone lifestyle yet and can’t write about The Zac Brown Band on my sports blog.

Erin Andrews usually shows up at these things and is worth a slideshow by herself, but thankfully 2011′s sports content was bolstered by an appearance by Hank Williams Jr., hot off his summer of evoking Godwin’s Law, apologizing-for-things-but-not-really and rerecording songs to make them be about how much he hates ESPN. He appeared and made a few jokes about himself that never turned him into the bad guy, and the Reba-filled audience responded like you’d imagine.

Oh, and David Freese was there, but nobody knew who he was. I thought he was Prince Fielder for like, five minutes.

Anyway, please click through to enjoy Erin Andrews, Hank Jr.’s parody of a parody of a parody and additional Erin Andrews.

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This is the Gates Of Heaven of football gifs. I’ve watched it about thirty times, and I’m still not to the bottom of it.

The moment, captured by way of Reddit and posted on Mocksession, depicts This Guy, Jon Gruden, as he attempts to overcome the very worst part of being white: not knowing which handshake to use, where the handshake is going or when it’s supposed to end. I feel his pain. I do this with mascots a lot. Tex Hooper of FC Dallas will raise his hand up and I won’t know if he’s waving at me or going for a high-five, and by the time I decide to go five he’s switched it to a fist bump. The upside to my awkwardness is that I don’t have to be it on national television. I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether Ron Jaworski’s execution was better or worse than Mike Tirico’s. [editor's note: way, way worse]

The important lesson here is that if you dare fist bump, don’t try to do it two at a time. Get the people you want to bump lined up single-file and bump it in order like you just won a baseball game. Or, if you’re as old as these guys, just f**king shake hands.