“This Knockouts Division is GREAT!”

Hold on to your vaginas, clothed lady reporters, because Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has signed an exclusive contract with Bellator. If you’ll recall, Rampage lost to Glover Teixeira back in January and walked away from UFC, then immediately started calling them liars. I’m sure no bridges will be burned here, and the deal will work out great for everybody!

Oh, and another fun thing about Rampage signing with Bellator (besides the dry humping): he’ll follow in the footsteps of pro wrestling legend KING MO by appearing on Bellator’s sister program, Bad Pro Wrestling:

According to those same sources, Jackson’s new deal will be similar to the one “King” Muhammed Lawal signed with the promotion last year, which gave him the opportunity to appear on TNA Impact Wrestling programming on Spike TV. Jackson has flirted with the idea of pursuing a pro wrestling career in the past, and it seems as though he will soon get a chance to showcase himself as a sports entertainer.

Jackson’s Bellator debut has yet to be finalized, but a fall date appears to be a possibility. (via MMA Fighting)

If his run in TNA is anything like King Mo’s, he’ll show up with great fanfare, make all of the pro wrestlers on the show look like shit, then show up a few weeks later on Bellator and get his ass kicked. I guess everything will work out fine, as long as we get Rampage and Dixie Carter on the microphone together.

For absolutely no reason whatsoever, here is candid footage from various Arianny Celeste and Brittney Palmer solo and tandem photoshoots, collected in a handy and easy-to-digest Vimeo highlight reel. Highlights include Arianny going Full Kate Upton In German Vogue (pictured), the time they wore USA bikinis, the time they wore letterman jackets without shirts, and … yeah you aren’t reading this.

The video is after the jump. Warning: it contains smooth hip-hop.

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Hey, what day is it? A day that ends in –y. That means that former UFC icon and champion Tito Ortiz and his on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again girlfriend or wife or ex-wife or whatever Jenna Jameson are fighting. I don’t know if I could even count on both hands how many times I’ve read or written about when these two fight, so I’m just going to accept that it’s the norm and not even bother looking up what the reason is this time.

That’s mainly because Jenna took care of the research for my crack staff of fact checkers by launching quite the Twitter rant about how Tito has allegedly taken her children away. This is a subject that she’s been Tweeting about for quite some time now, but this time she’s alleging that Tito tried to kill her, and to get back at him and win her children back, she swore that she was going to Tweet pictures of Tito’s drugs.

Then I assume people yawned and said, “Whatever, show us your cool drug photos” and she did.

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This week’s installment of the inconsistent MMA Knockout of the Week series comes to us from the Get Down Amateur Promotions in Costa Mesa, California, and thanks to that name I got lost in a Boogie Down Productions wormhole on YouTube this morning, so I’m very thankful for that. That said, Garrett Whitman took all of four seconds to knock out his McOpponent, McKlaine McKinnon, with a foot to the face.

In fact, here’s a full breakdown of this fight:

• The bell rings
• The fighters touch gloves
• Whitman kicks McKinnon in the face
• Fight over

Hopefully, McKinnon uses this loss as a learning experience and keeps working harder to become a better fighter and maybe one day make it to one of the big promotions. I know it must be hard, what with this video blowing up on YouTube, but he need to remember that it can always be worse.

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“You don’t know what white power is aboat, bro.”

I am digging Canada’s heel turn.

At some point, they just decided to destroy the stereotype that Canadians are mild-mannered, polite Ice Yokels and just be horrible to everybody. They bring Boston Marathon bombing parody signs to hockey games. Their mayors smoke crack. They more or less want to murder Mexico and now their MMA shows have gone from the gentle “let me bang, bro” of US programming to full on gay slurs and racism.

It starts off like classic Canada … a show called ‘Fight Xchange’ (without the E, because the 2010s are like the late 90s in Canada) on the preciously-named ‘Super Channel.’ It’s got that normal reality show thing where people sit around eating breakfast and bleeping curse words at each other. You start to find out that Brazilians are competing against Canadians, and that’s all well and good, and then BOOM, a dude with a nose stud is pursing his lips and straight up calling his opponent the N-word, the F-word, and probably a bunch of other horrible alphabet words that didn’t make air.

Here’s the clip. NSFW language alert, obviously.

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On October 14, 2012, the Metamoris Pro Jiu-Jitsu Invitational made its debut in San Diego, California to rave reviews. The idea behind this unique new event was to take the points out of Jiu-Jitsu and leave the results to the actual fighters. Instead of what we see in most mixed martial arts tournaments and competitions, with judges declaring winners based on scores if a result isn’t reached by the fighters, Metamoris allows fighters to focus on the art of submission by giving them 20 minutes to defeat their opponents. It is in this setting that the event’s founder, Ralek Gracie, believes that the fighters and spectators alike can truly celebrate the essence of Jiu-Jitsu.

With Metamoris II taking place on June 9 at the Pauley Pavilion in Los Angeles, I was fortunate enough to spend a few minutes talking to one of Ralek’s legendary family members about this year’s bigger and better follow-up – which will have Ed O’Neill serving as a color analyst, by the way. But imagine my surprise when I learned that I’d be speaking with UFC legend Royce Gracie, which had me unapologetically giddy. He’s the giant killer, the original icon. It was like talking to Babe Ruth.

Royce and I discussed the fight card for Metamoris II, including the main event of Shinya Aoki vs. Kron Gracie, as well as the benefits of a no-points scoring system, the rise of women in MMA and which fighters we should keep an eye on in L.A.

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