Back in February, UFC Women’s Champion and With Leather’s First Lady of Fighting, Ronda Rousey, discussed her newfound status as a sex symbol on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. Of this new and growing fascination and adoration that men and women alike have established for her, Rousey said:

“I don’t really see myself as a sex symbol because ever since people started calling me a sex symbol, I haven’t had less sex in my life. It’s not really working out great for me. People bring that up all the time. I’m like, Look, you’re right. I probably get more attention fighting because of how I look, but if I didn’t know how to fight and I just looked the way I did, no one would know who I am.”

I think she meant that she’s had less sex, and that’s a shame, because [insert stupid, generic macho BS line here] but the fact remains that she is a sex symbol, because she is very attractive and charming, and she did grace the cover of the ESPN Body Issue sans clothing.

And sure, it’s adorable that she referred to her completely naked body as her “cash and prizes” while refusing to ever pose for Playboy, but they’re still somewhat on display in her newest magazine appearance – a tastefully naked spread in Maxim‘s Hot 100.

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Lana. LANA!

Sports On TV is in the Danger Zone.

Our look at the best sports moments from shows that aren’t necessarily about sports takes on FX’s ‘Archer’ this week, and if there’s a show the kids at UPROXX love more than ‘Archer,’ I’d like to see it. Inside, you’ll find one of the most clever, obscure, expertly-written shows on television. You’ll also find lacrosse jokes about rock bands from the 1990s, a guy trying to play baseball in space, Ultimate Bum Shock Fights (which are exactly what they sound like), Siamese fighting fish, and more.

So please click through and-or enjoy Sports On TV: ‘Archer’s’ 15 greatest sports moments.

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What’s the best way to celebrate UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon ‘Bones’ Jones, a man so intensely athletic that he can cause his own toe to twist off like a bottle cap and still win a fight? By having the least athletic person you know, possibly yourself, put every food item within 20 feet onto a sandwich role and call it the Bones Jones.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Bones Jones.

Ingredients – salami, ham, habanero nacho cheese, country fried bacon, habanero pickles, chipotle mayo, and fried Mac n cheese bites! On a toasted sub!

I’m (somewhat predictably) not a fan of the Epic Meal Time gag, so I’m even less of a fan of the Epic Meal Time also-rans. There’s comedy in wrapping a full-sized, living cow in bacon slices and dropkicking it into a microwave or whatever, but there’s a fine line between “here’s an hilarious thing to eat” entertainment piece and just being a grotesque motherf**ker who eats everything he owns in a pile.

I really want to see Spilly improve the Bones Jones by adding Play-Doh to it.

[h/t to Middle Easy]

UFC Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey graces the cover of ESPN the Magazine for the second time in her already storied career as a professional ass-kicker, this time as part of the Worldwide Network’s publication’s celebration of 15 years as a magazine. Man, I can’t believe that it has really been 15 years since the Mag started arriving at my home in terrible condition because it was bigger than my other magazines so the mailman needed to cram it into my slot… wait, that’s the story of how I was conceived.

Anyway, like I said, this is Rousey’s second cover, as she made her first appearance on/in the 2012 Body Issue. Don’t remember that one? That’s okay, I’ve got it right here.

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UFC 159 went down tonight, and we’ve got your quick and dirty results.

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“Witness a man’s dream of becoming a champion be demolished.” – Jon Jones

UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones and his UFC 159 opponent Chael Sonnen have a great history of exchanging unkind words. When Sonnen made the jump to the light heavyweight division last year, he immediately wanted a shot at the title, because he’s a confident guy and that’s pretty typical. Leading up to UFC 151, Sonnen predicted that Dan Henderson would defeat Jones, and that if “there’s anything left of him” he’d still like to fight Jones.

Jones’ response to Sonnen’s prediction was less than kind, as he said that Sonnen fought like a child against Anderson Silva, before calling him a coward and a cheater. Henderson, of course, pulled out of 151 with an injury just days before the event was scheduled to go down, and even with Sonnen offering to take his place, Jones refused and the entire PPV was canceled.

Long story short, the two were named the coaches for The Ultimate Fighter 17 and tomorrow night they face each other in the main event at UFC 159 at the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. And while Sonnen has been actually singing Jones’ praises this week, Jones Tweeted that this is all Sonnen is going to see…

If anything, this PPV has given us one of my favorite promotional commercials of all-time, as the Chael Sonnen voiceover ads have had me cracking up for the past month. They’ve gotten to the point that I’ll be ordering food and I’ll say, “There’s a name for the person who’s about to eat this sandwich and it’s CHAEL SONNEN.” You have to be there. The waitress laughs every time.

As for the rest of the fight card, you can chiggity check it below and read our own Lobster Mobster’s handy dandy fight primer to prepare. Join us tomorrow night starting at 8 PM ET for the preliminary fights on FX and 10 PM ET for the PPV fights.

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