Our UFC 145 Live Blog was a huge success, so we’re getting the team back together — FilmDrunk.com editor and “person who has actually gotten into a cage and done this” Dan “Danny Boy” Downes will be handling the play-by-play, giving their predictions and making as many jokes as possible for Saturday night’s UFC 146 event.

The page will go live tomorrow morning, so be sure to bookmark this link: UFC 146: Dos Santos Vs. Mir Live Blog And Open Discussion Thread. If you really want to talk UFC you’re free to do that now, but tomorrow’s thread will bring badge privileges, and those things are like candy.

Full card for the event is below.

Preliminary card (Facebook)

Featherweight bout: Mike Brown vs. Daniel Pineda
Light Heavyweight bout: Kyle Kingsbury vs. Glover Teixeira
Lightweight bout: Jacob Volkmann vs. Paul Sass

Preliminary card (FX)

Welterweight bout: Dan Hardy vs. Duane Ludwig
Middleweight bout: Jason Miller vs. C.B. Dollaway
Lightweight bout: Edson Barboza vs. Jamie Varner
Featherweight bout: Diego Brandao vs. Darren Elkins

Main card

Heavyweight bout: Stefan Struve vs. Lavar Johnson
Heavyweight bout: Stipe Miočić vs. Shane del Rosario
Heavyweight bout: Roy Nelson vs. Dave Herman
Heavyweight bout: Cain Velasquez vs. Antonio Silva
Heavyweight Championship bout: Junior dos Santos (c) vs. Frank Mir

This video of motocross jumpers doing tricks over live MMA fights from last weekend’s ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 2′ event in Billings, Montana, is making the rounds today, and while there isn’t much to say other than “lol what is this dumb sh*t why is it happening” I thought I’d put together some helpful suggestions to make ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 3′ (date TBA) a little more engaging:

1. Have pro skateboarders grind the top of the cage while MMA fights are happening and motocross guys are jumping over them. “Powerman 5000 – When Worlds Collide” would make this especially awesome.

2. Rig the bikes so the exhaust sprays Baja Blast Mountain Dew on the fighters as it backflips. That’s probably a little degrading to the guys in the octagon, but these guys are cagefighting under the Montana X-Games so f**k them.

3. Fire hoops a’plenty.

4. Allow public masturbation, but only during the coolest parts. So, public masturbation from beginning to end. Suggestion 4B) Call the event ‘Backflips And Beatdowns And Beatoffs’.

5. Eliminate the landing ramp. Have riders jump directly into the cage, where they then have to fight their way out. Twist: The cage does not have doors.

6. Have the jumpers land on a raft of human women. If that’s too regressive for Montana, have them leap directly into the opened mouths of lions.

7. Figure out a way to stage the entire event underwater.

8. Arrange it so that anyone who says “woo” during the event is forced to either fight in a cage or jump it. See how many people are still alive by the end. If the answer is “nobody”, you’ve done it correctly!

9. Allow one man to commandeer Truckasaurus in an attempt to stop the show. I will volunteer for this, assuming I’ll be in Montana at the time (I will never be in Montana).

10. Do not have ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 3′.

WWE’s Brock Lesnar lost his first UFC fight, amassed a 5-3 record, got a terrible case of diverticulitis and was retired back into pro wrestling via TKO helplessness by Cain Velasquez and Alistair Overeem. Because of this, 5-time champion Randy Couture believes Lesnar deserves a spot alongside him in the UFC Hall of Fame. Wait, sorry, I think I copy-pasted that in wrong.

Hold on, let me check the video:

As our friends at Cage Potato note, Couture is pretty quick to jump on the “yes” bandwagon, though that may have something to do with Lesnar punching his face through the back of his head at UFC 91.

Halls of Fame are always put together with the idea that some objective criteria (be it a Super Bowl ring or 300 Wins or whatever) qualifies you as officially better than your contemporaries and worthy of permanent enshrinement, but it ultimately comes down to a few people who run the building saying yea or nay. For Lesnar, it’s a matter of comparing one UFC Heavyweight Championship win and a sh*t-ton of pay-per-view buys against a Hall of Fame ideal that values mixed-martial arts achievement over UFC’s bottom line.

Do I personally think Lesnar belongs in the UFC Hall of Fame? Of course not, but I’m no MMA historian. I say induct him, then uninduct him in a few years when he gets bored. Let us know what you think in the comments below. Use curse words.

Jeffrey Earnhardt, grandson of “The Intimidator” Dale Earnhardt and nephew of “Not As Intimidating But He’s In Jeans Commercials” Dale Earnhardt, Jr., races on the Rolex Sports Car Series and the NASCAR Nationwide Series. Starting this Tuesday, he’s pulling a Bo Jackson and becoming a two-sport athlete: Jeffrey (or as I like to call him, “Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.*”) is fighting at Fight Lab 25 in Charlotte, N.C. as an amateur, going up against bantamweight competitor Chris Faison.

We’re about to have an Earnhardt in MMA. Why, you ask? Because people don’t think driving is a real sport. Jeff is hoping to validate the athleticism of stock car racing by being athletic in a way that has nothing to do with stock cars or racing. No, really!

“A lot of people don’t see race car athletes as true athletes … They don’t think we’re capable of doing anything other than sitting in a car and driving in a circle. A lot of people don’t understand the reality of it. This is an opportunity to prove to people that race car drivers are athletes. It’s a lot harder than people realize. Hopefully this MMA fight will help people realize that, and that we can hold our own as athletes.” (via MMA Fighting)

I’m sure there are accountants out there that do CrossFit and could rip my arms off, that doesn’t mean accounting is a sport. And hey, just because fighting is a sport doesn’t mean everyone who does it is an athlete. I’m a blogger and I could probably knock out Bob Sapp.

Regardless of his intent, I’ll be watching. I’m pretty excited for a guy who smiles like that to enter the world of punching.

“In the future, we should each get a beer.”
“Bitch, you don’t have a future.”

(h/t to Lobster Mobster)

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Links

‘SNL’ Recap: Say Goodbye to Kristen Wiig, Say Hello to Mick Jagger |Warming Glow|

With Spandex Episode 3: Icarus |With Leather|

The 39 Headlines You Need to Become a Successful Video Game Blogger |Gamma Squad|

Emma Stone Is Adorable At Everything |Film Drunk|

Meme Watch: Douchebag Guitarist Is Ready To Tear Up Guitar Center With Some Stairway |UPROXX|

The Art Of Sequencing By Alicia Keys |Smoking Section|

No One Told Community Showrunner Dan Harmon He Was Being Canned, Says Dan Harmon |UPROXX|

Sorry Ladies, Mark Zuckerberg Is Now A Married Man |UPROXX|

Reporter Kisses Will Smith, Will Smith Slaps Reporter |Smoking Section|

This Arnold Schwarzenegger Remix Is The Best Thing You’ll Listen To Today |Film Drunk|

The St. Louis Cardinals Have Incredible Fashion Sense |With Leather|

Ten Board and Card Games That Are Likely Already Becoming Movies |Gamma Squad|

The Best GIFs from Season Three of ‘Community’ |Warming Glow|

The 10 Most Glorious Unibrows In Sports History |Buzzfeed|

20 Phrases You Hear During Graduation, and What They Really Mean |College Humor|

37 Years Of ‘SNL’ Cast Members In One Epic Timeline |HuffPost Comedy|

5 Actors Who Thought They Were Novelists (And Were Very, Very Wrong) |Pajiba|

Five Awful Actors Who Had One Great Performance |Unreality|

I’ve never fought professionally, so this video has taught me a valuable lesson — if a guy has his body wrapped around my arm and is trying to break it, I shouldn’t stand up and shake my arm around to make him stop.

By way of Cage Potato comes this clip from ‘The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil’ of Rony “Jason” Mariano Bezerra giving Team Wanderlei its first win, a first-round submission victory over Anistavio “Gasparzinho” Medeiros de Figueiredo. When they’re done ultimately fighting they should have a contest to see who can have the most names.

Anyway, sh*t gets real at the 1:40 mark, and a few moments and horrible noises later, Gasparzinho walks away with a spaghetti arm. Now Jason gets to square off with Hugo “Wolverine” Viana in the featherweight semis, and if I know anything about Wolverine I know it’s gonna take a lot more than that to break his arm. Advice: dismember him and bury the parts on different continents.

Two additional notes:

1. Here’s a clip of the coaches yelling at each other. If you understand what they’re saying, let me know. And yes, when it said “tecnico” under Wanderlei Silva’s name I was hoping Vitor’s would say “rudo”.

2. If you flip the preview image upside down it looks like the weirdest masturbation ever.

One school of thought says that if a woman (specifically a woman who is sexy for a living) poses nude, she can never go back in time and do cheesecake bikini shoots because the mystery is gone, and if you wanted to see her naked you’d just google her naked. Another says that a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, and that if she’s tangentially sports-related and looks this great in regressive stages of bikini, you should celebrate it.

Allow us to celebrate it.

Arianny Celeste, Octagon girl and “noticeably hot lady in the background of most UFC weigh-in photos”, appears in various stages of undress for the May 2012 issue of FHM Philippines, and unless you’ve got a subscription or are gonna fly to the Philippines and pick up a copy you can just look at them here. Not Buying Magazines is what the prime directive of the Internet, isn’t it?

"I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves and I hope we've passed the audition"

Our UFC 145 live-blog was a huge success, so we’re doing it again … but this time the event is free for EVERYONE to watch, so it’s gonna get crazy.

Starting tomorrow night, May 5, at 8 PM EST, FilmDrunk’s Vince Mancini will be heading up the open discussion thread for UFC on Fox: Diaz Vs. Miller, aka UFC on Fox 3. The show is headlined by two big fights: a lightweight showdown between Nate Diaz and Jim Miller, as well as a welterweight bout between Johny Hendricks and Josh Koscheck. This will be your best chance all week to post on the Internet about how much you hate Josh Koscheck, so don’t miss it.

The full event card including preliminaries is below.

Main card

Lightweight bout: Nate Diaz vs. Jim Miller
Welterweight bout: Josh Koscheck vs. Johny Hendricks
Heavyweight bout: Pat Barry vs. Lavar Johnson
Middleweight bout: Rousimar Palhares vs. Alan Belcher

Preliminary card (Fuel TV)

Featherweight bout: Dennis Bermudez vs. Pablo Garza
Lightweight bout: Danny Castillo vs. John Cholish
Flyweight bout: Louis Gaudinot vs. John Lineker
Welterweight bout: John Hathaway vs. Pascal Krauss
Flyweight bout: John Dodson vs. Tim Elliott
Lightweight bout: Tony Ferguson vs. Michael Johnson

Preliminary card (Facebook)

Middleweight bout: Mike Massenzio vs. Karlos Vemola
Bantamweight bout: Roland Delorme vs. Nick Denis

For anyone reading who thinks it’d be a good idea to file for worker’s compensation so you can keep being paid by your employers but have time off to travel the world and cagefight (in front of thousands of people, sometimes in front of television cameras), here’s some helpful advice: Don’t do that, idiot.

Bellator Fighting Championships and M-1 Global veteran Raphael Davis (12-2) on Tuesday pleaded not guilty on four felony counts of insurance fraud.

The Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office alleges that Davis, a firefighter, made false claims for workers’ compensation between Dec. 2, 2008, and May 20, 2011.

Davis fought seven times during the period in question, including three fights under the Bellator banner and two M-1 Challenge bouts. He stands accused of competing while trying to collect workers’ compensation and could spend up to five years in jail, prosecutors said earlier this month. (via MMA Junkie)

His career was going pretty well, too — during his workers comp scam, Davis went 6-1 and just knocked out Berin Balijagic at a show in Switzerland. That’s a sad ending to the grift, especially when the only comparable story I can think of is the New York high school social studies teacher who took sick days to moonlight as a professional wrestler and ended up with a job at WWE.

I guess the lesson here is “if you’re gonna lie to your bosses, make sure your hobby isn’t covered by 1/8th of the Internet”.

Two major points of interest here:

1. Whenever he’s within 200 feet of the Memphis city limits, Jerry “The King” Lawler becomes awesome. I don’t know what I like more, the fact that he’s piledriving a guy on a basketball court during a timeout or the fact that he’s got spandex King pants that match his Grizzlies jersey.

2. Charles Barkley just stuck up for WWE Superstar John Cena (a job usually reserved for women and little kids covered in wristbands) and threatened former UFC Heavyweight Champion and current WWE simulated arm-breaker Brock Lesnar, promising an ultimate team-up with Shaquille O’Neal if Brock doesn’t leave Cena alone. I’m sad he didn’t threaten to Five Buck Box him in the diverticulitis.

The boast seems like just another one of Sir Charles’ ridiculously spoken sentences, but you never know … Barkley does have connections in the wrestling business:

And wrestling loves its random basketball guest stars. If Barkley does show up and lock his ‘STFU And Jam’ submission on Brock, he’ll be the latest in a long tradition of players with fake fighting experience — Dennis Rodman, Karl Malone and proposed tag team partner Shaq have all found success in the ring.

Maybe he should pick on someone smaller, though. If Brock ever got a clean shot on Barkley, the results would be turrble.

[h/t to Hot Clicks]