I enjoy soccer, especially the Premeir League and the international games, and I don’t seem to be the only one. A report released today suggests that America’s pro soccer league, Major League Soccer, will soon overtake the National Hockey League as the United States’ fourth most popular pro sports league…if they haven’t already.

In 2010, MLS average attendance was 16,675 spectators per game, a 4 percent increase over 2009. The NHL drew an average of 17,072 fans per game last season, a 3 percent drop from the year prior.

With regard to ratings, MLS also is making a surge. The league’s televised 2011 opener between the Galaxy and Sounders on ESPN was up 129 percent in ratings and 112 percent in viewership, drawing 604,000 English-language viewers. The game’s Spanish-language broadcast on ESPN Deportes drew another 79,000 viewers, an increase of 84 percent from a year ago.

–Fox News Latino.

Also more popular than the NHL on television: everything. While the American soccer product pales in comparison to the skill level, prestige, and national passion of the European leagues, MLS seems to be getting stronger while the NHL and even NASCAR appear to be losing fans and TV viewers. If only we could get Gary Bettman to run MLS, and sign Dale Earnhardt, Jr. to the Columbus Crew.

Cincinnati Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis knows no offseason when it comes to giving grief to his colorful wide receiver Chad Ochocinco. And no, by “colorful” I don’t mean “black,” ya big dummy. Ocho took up an invitation to try out for a Major League Soccer team, and you can imagine how that would go over with an NFL coach.

Here’s Lewis on Ocho’s dalliance with Major League Soccer: “What has he ever done that he’s completed? What circle has he connected in any way?” Lewis asked.

–PFT.

But now some people are wondering why Lewis hasn’t taken the same line with Carson Palmer, who’s threatening to leave town. I thought that was pretty obvious: because Lewis and Palmer have put winning football games above all else, whereas Ochocinco only does and says the things that will keep him on TV. Let’s not forget that Lewis was ready to bolt Cincinnati, too. Hell, Chad might be the only guy that actually wants to play for the Bengals right now. That alone would make him certifiably insane.

David Beckham is sporting a new hairstyle, and of course we wouldn’t be talking about it here if it didn’t look like ass. I can’t help but wonder if that’s a distorted image or if the LA Galaxy star just has a horrible case of dandruff. If it’s the latter, I’m sure it’s trendy, premium dandruff. Anyway:

The soccer stud premiered the new look alongside look-alike son Brooklyn, 11, while attending The Sun Military Awards at the Imperial War Museum in London earlier tonight.

–People.

I think I vomited five times while reading that sentence. I hope he gets sued by Florence Henderson. She could certainly use the money, provided that she’s still alive…is she still alive? I’d look that up, but I still need to eat lunch.

David Beckham is one of those celebrities that will probably have a target on his back for the rest of his life. Everywhere he goes, he’ll be stared at, heckled and/or dreamt about in sexually perverse ways. Uh, that’s what a friend told me anyway. That’s why I don’t understand why he’d waste his time lashing out at some jagoff heckler who waits until he’s almost out of sight to hurl some uninspired taunt about prostitutes. Yes, David, he’s wearing a Galaxy shirt. We heckle our own players over here. It’s just another great thing about being American. Read the rest of this entry »

Kansas City Wizards coach Peter Vermes, pictured adorably in his mug shot, was arrested back in August on charges of driving while intoxicated, and most of us never heard about it because 1) He’s a soccer coach, B) It’s the MLS, and III) It’s Kansas City. But that didn’t stop fans of the Philadelphia Union from doing their homework and bringing some serious A game to their Saturday match against the Wizards. You could even say they brought their serious AA game. *bowtie spins, falls asleep at red light*

When the Wizards took the field at PPL Park, Union fans serenaded Vermes with their own special rendition of “99 Bottles of Beer.” And they didn’t stop after one verse, nor did they stop after 2, 5 or 10. They sang every verse of the song, with a few breaks here and there to celebrate the action or to acknowledge other events, but nevertheless this is one of the most dedicated attempts at heckling that we’ve ever seen in a sporting event. It’s nice to see that we’ve moved beyond throwing up on people and flinging batteries around. *sniffs* Our angry sports town is all growns up.

Video after the jump.

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Those of you discouraged about the possibility of soccer climbing out of “dork fetish” status here in the states can breathe a little easier today: The MLS All-Star Game happened last night, but instead of the league’s best players playing each other, they formed a single team and took on Manchester United, the perennial Champions League power who happen to be stateside for a preseason tour. How’d the All-Stars fare? They lost, 5-2.

[T]he scoreline — against a club in preseason mode, missing its World Cup players, using four starters age 21 or younger — doesn’t reflect well on the league. Twenty seconds had passed when Kevin Alston, a long-term prospect at outside back for the defense-depleted national team, delivered a lazy pass that led to the first of two goals by 18-year-old Federico Macheda. MLS did exhibit some nice work in midfield and caused a stir late in the match, but by then Darron Gibson (age 22) had struck a perfect free kick for a 3-1 advantage, Tom Cleverley (20) had flicked the ball to himself and Mexican idol Javier Hernandez (22) had scored in his debut. –Steven Goff/WaPo.

So basically we got our asses run over by a bunch of college-aged kids. From Europe. I haven’t been this embarrassed since I opened a condom in bed and it turned out to be a packet of Ramen noodle flavoring. But Josh, it’s only one game. Yeah, but the WNBA is kicking your asses in the TV ratings, too. And it’s soccer without the star-spangled laundry to generate my rooting interest. The defense rests. After last night, you should be familiar with that concept. Read the rest of this entry »