Remember earlier this month when Justin Smoak of the Mariners hit a foul ball into a fan’s beer, so the fan fanned-up and chugged it? Here’s the food version of that.

Drew Stubbs of the Cleveland Indians hit a solo homer, and a fan lost a bag of popcorn in a beautiful explosion. To be as cool as the Mariners fan, dude needs to walk around, find every piece of popcorn and eat it. Do it. Do it. (via MLB.com)

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Listen To Kanye West’s Unreleased Demo Tape From Circa 2001 |Smoking Section|

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Without the stars, of course.

Today’s been an emotional one at Fenway Park. The Boston Bruins-style “everybody sings our national anthem in unison” moment has officially become a Boston staple. Pat-down lines were endless. Tears were non-stop. At the perfect moment, David Ortiz dropped the mother of all f-bombs, and baseball helped do what it always does: makes us feel better about the stupid shit in our lives that isn’t baseball.

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If you missed out on this week’s big baseball news, San Francisco Giants relief pitcher Jean Machi farted in the Giants bullpen. This is seriously the only important thing that happened in baseball this week. What are we supposed to write about, Derek Jeter being injured? Alex Rodriguez being cleared to walk on a treadmill?

Actually, that is kinda funny. So hey, while I think of some gay stereotype things to type in capital letters about centaurs, please enjoy today’s edition of The Dugout, which is about Jean Machi’s awful, stank butthole.

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There are plenty of sports events to watch on TV tonight, from the Phillies-Reds game at 7PM ET on ESPN 2 to the Sabres at Bruins on NBC Sports at 7:30 PM ET to the incredibly intense Jazz and Lakers games, on ESPN at 8 PM and 10:30 PM respectively, which will decide the fate of both of those teams, as one of them will miss the playoffs. There’s also WWE Main Event on ION, in the event that I ever discover what channel that is on U-verse.

Chances are I’ll probably end up watching the Cardinals game in an exhausted daze on my couch, because the 24/7 cable news cycle is breaking me to pieces, and I don’t even watch that nonsense. But it finds a way to sneak up on you and get you in a mental chokehold, like carbon monoxide in a running car in the garage, except all in my brain. I’m not sure where I’m going with this, to be honest, but I’m tired and my head and heart hurt, that’s for sure. (I’ll be more fun tomorrow, I promise.)

But baseball made me pretty happy last night as teams and fans across the country paid tribute to the victims of Monday’s Boston Marathon bombing, and I’ll watch that New York Yankees video again, as the Bronx Bombers fans sang along with “Sweet Caroline” for one night. And I had some leftover photo tributes left over from my morning search, so I figured in lieu of the TV listings, we could honor New York’s finest baseball fans one more time.

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Not to be forgotten or excluded from the awesomeness that the New York Yankees and other teams displayed last night when they played “Sweet Caroline” at stadiums across the country to honor the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing, the Milwaukee Brewers also offered their respect and tribute in their own special, equally beautiful manner.

The Brewers decided to (fittingly) play the theme song to Cheers to honor the titular bar of one of the greatest TV series of all-time, as it was obviously set in Boston. I don’t know why this one chokes me up more, but it does. Either way, good on all of you blessed baseball towns for providing the figurative pollen and literal humanity last night and today.

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Because it’s cold outside, get it? The MLB.com description of this clip is adorable:

A Rockies fan takes in the first game of the Mets-Rockies doubleheader with a snowman friend

Here’s the clip, followed by the best idea I’ve ever had (ever).

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