Texas A&M quarterback and eventual Buffalo Bill Johnny Manziel found a winning formula with trainer George Whitfield last year, as the 20-year old became the first freshman to ever win the Heisman Trophy. Between his own success and that of his new best bro AJ McCarron, who led Alabama to another BCS Championship, there’s not a pair of camouflage cargo shorts in the country that isn’t filled with wonder as to whether Manziel can lead the Aggies all the way this year.

Well, courtside seats and night club VIP sections be damned, because Manziel and Whitfield are hard at work on an encore, as they’ve been battling the waves in Southern California this week as part of his intense workouts. Of course, it can’t be all work and no play, because that makes Johnny Football a dull boy. So the young slinger stopped by yesterday’s Padres-Nationals game at Petco Park, where he was able to meet fellow A&M alum and Nats manager Davey Johnson before taking in some batting practice.

Manziel homered, naturally, because he’s a f*cking winner, bro.

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photo via @baldvinny

There’s always a $230 million payroll in the banana stand.

If you haven’t heard, the folks at Netflix have been sending the legendary big yellow joint/Bluth company frozen banana stand around New York City to promote May 26th’s ‘Arrested Development’ season 4 premiere. This act, by itself, gives season 4 of ‘Arrested’ 100% more promotion than it had in three seasons at Fox.

Courtesy of @BaldVinny comes this pic of the stand outside of Yankee Stadium, qualifying it as “sports” enough for me to write about it here, and possibly add it as the show’s 16th best sports moment.

New working theory: Alex Rodriguez needed hip surgery because he ran into The Wall.

I really don’t get you, youth of today. I really don’t. Sure, I did some stupid sh*t in my day, and not a moment goes by that I don’t regret acting like such a schmuck. But with all of the information and education that we have available for us now, there’s almost nothing left that we can get away with. So why on Earth would you let someone record your stupid face as you go gallon smashing in public? Next thing you know, some pro-milk advocacy group is lighting your house on fire and killing your pets. That’s the way the world works these days, folks.

Oh, and there really isn’t much more that I love than watching an a-hole’s face bounce off the cold, hard floor. Because, all jokes aside, adult me will stab a bitch if pranks like this cause milk prices to increase.

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Obligatory Bryce Harper image.

Bryce Harper is a 20-year old baseball phenom with lucrative endorsement deals, one bitchin’ Mercedes and a lifetime supply of Chipotle. I’ve also been told by strippers that he’s very handsome, but that means very little to me because my mommy tells me I’m the most handsomest man in the world. Regardless, there is very little to feel bad about when it comes to Harper, especially since he took that above picture with Brittney Palmer and then people started rumors that they were dating, and that’s pretty much the best thing that could ever happen to anyone.

So when Harper missed the Washington Nationals’ 7-3 win against the Chicago Cubs on Friday, there was obviously some concern among fans for Harper’s health. But because more people in Washington DC are concerned with Harper’s health than they are about stupid crap like healthcare or crime, the local media was quick to report that it was just a simple, harmless ingrown toenail.

And then, because people apparently asked him to, Harper Tweeted the pic of his toe right after the nail was removed. I’d warn you that this is graphic, but I’ve posted about Jon Jones’ “dislocated toe” three times, so get ready for a boo-boo.

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The New York Yankees are currently in first place in the AL East with the second-best record in all of baseball, so as soon as they have that best record in baseball status locked up – and maybe toss in a few highway robbery trades as well – all will be well in the universe, according to Yankees fans. One of the luxuries of being “business as usual” for baseball’s highest payroll is that Yankees players and fans can once again laugh, not only at the fans of teams beneath them in the standings, but also at their own miseries of previous years.

For example, on Friday the Yankees visited the Kansas City Royals for a quick three-game sweep to extend their winning streak to five games, but because Kauffman Stadium is where Yankees closer and first ballot Hall-of-Famer Mariano Rivera ended his season a wee bit early last season while shagging fly balls in warm-ups, his teammates decided to poke fun at the injury with the “No Mo Zone”.

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Now that the NBA has given all of the remaining playoff teams a well-deserved night off, instead of, you know, scheduling the games accordingly so that fans could watch their favorite stars play every night, we get to sit back and enjoy some games tonight. And since the Miami Heat play, we’ll hopefully get some more Chris Andersen antics for Shaquille O’Neal to talk about on TNT tomorrow night since he apparently loves talking about the Birdman.

That Shaq, such the comic genius. I, for one, can’t wait to see him return to the big screen in Grown Ups 2. In fact, if TNT could show that Grown Ups 2 playoffs ad more than it already does, I’d be so incredibly happy. It’s great to see Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade and Kevin James openly acknowledging how they play the same character in everything they’ve ever done. That’s true comedy.

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